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Unhappy with sex life not sure what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi everyone,

I am new, this is my first time posting. I have had constant issues in my marriage with my sex life and tonight I just wanted to cry about it. I have cried many times over it and am at a loss as to what to do.

I have been married for 6 years and in that time have felt like my husband may as well be having sex with a doll. I have never been allowed to do anything. If we went with me on top, he hold me and thrust himself, if I moved at all in missionary, he tell me to lie still, same goes for every position we tried, I am not allowed to move.

When we first got married I wanted to try lots of things, but after being told not to move or do anything, I gave up.

I used to like dressing up, but he never cared and told me not to bother.

Tonight he tells me he thinks I am inexperienced, I need to learn how to do stuff and I should dress up again.

I am fine with lingerie and stuff. My issue is he has never let me do anything other than lie there so how was I supposed to get experience. We have discussed this before and he always says 'next time you can do it' but when we have sex, he takes over and tells me to lay there again anyway.

I am soooooo frustrated with it all and don't know what to do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel, if you don't, how is he supposed to know? I would doubt he'd be happy knowing that you have "cried many times over it" If you don't talk to him and work it out togetehr , how are things supposed to change or get any better? It sounds as if you have got stuck into a rut when it comes to sex where its so predictable and mundane its not even enjoyable for you. Do you think he enjoys it? Basically, the ONLY way you can sort it out is to talk openly about it to him and go from there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hate to be the one to tell you this, but even if you get to talking about the issues you have, nothing will change. he seems fairly stuck in his ways in terms of what he wants sexually. he does not seem to care about your needs and although he says you should try different things the sex is still the same. you will not be able to gain any experience in this relationship and if you try to gain it elsewhere this relationship will be over. if you were to have sex with someone else and found it more satifiying, you would not be able to help introducing your 'new techniques' in your marriage. this would be noticable and questions would naturally be asked. you are in a 'no win' situation as things stand. you can either continue to be the 'doll' or 'corpse' or you can call it a day and leave. continued sexual frustration will eat you up inside until you have nothing left. its painful to leave someone, i know from experience, but in the long run its the best thing to do.
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