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Friendship ended but scared will forgive her :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My friend hurt me big time saying eating disorders r attention seeking and puttin on facebook so every1 can see im suicidal and cut 
i wrote this today :
You can judge me for who i am,
You can say all you like about me,
You'll push me further,
You'll soon see,
I dont need anybody,
You hurt me more than words can say,
but never mind me hey,
Sometimes i feel so cold and fragile,
feel so lost and you sit there and judge,
When really you dont have a clue,
If only you knew how much i struggle,
Most nights i break down and cry,
All ive gotta do is try,
I cant give up,
I'm not letting you win,
You've made me so down,
I punish myself,
I just can't believe you'd say those hurtful things,
When you dont have a clue,
If only you could the hurt behind my eyes,
I pretend that im okay that im happy
but there all just lies
If you was a real mate,
Maybe you would of seen through my lies,
and soon realise,
Realise im not the real me,
Feel so crushed,
Good job You dont know the secrets i hide,
Cos i just dont trust you,
You'll break my trust,
I needed you the most and you let me down,
You know i was struggling,
You saying all those hurtful things almost killed me,
but that just isnt your problem is it
Tears start to fill up my eyes,
when i finally realise,
I have to say my goodbyes,
We had so many fun times together,
But now its time to say goodbye forever,
You hurt me,
This will prob be one of my biggest regret,
But there are things you've said,
I'll never forget
By Dani 15th Jan 2010
i wrote this today :
You can judge me for who i am,
You can say all you like about me,
You'll push me further,
You'll soon see,
I dont need anybody,
You hurt me more than words can say,
but never mind me hey,
Sometimes i feel so cold and fragile,
feel so lost and you sit there and judge,
When really you dont have a clue,
If only you knew how much i struggle,
Most nights i break down and cry,
All ive gotta do is try,
I cant give up,
I'm not letting you win,
You've made me so down,
I punish myself,
I just can't believe you'd say those hurtful things,
When you dont have a clue,
If only you could the hurt behind my eyes,
I pretend that im okay that im happy
but there all just lies
If you was a real mate,
Maybe you would of seen through my lies,
and soon realise,
Realise im not the real me,
Feel so crushed,
Good job You dont know the secrets i hide,
Cos i just dont trust you,
You'll break my trust,
I needed you the most and you let me down,
You know i was struggling,
You saying all those hurtful things almost killed me,
but that just isnt your problem is it
Tears start to fill up my eyes,
when i finally realise,
I have to say my goodbyes,
We had so many fun times together,
But now its time to say goodbye forever,
You hurt me,
This will prob be one of my biggest regret,
But there are things you've said,
I'll never forget
By Dani 15th Jan 2010
0
Comments
Thanks for posting. I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time at the moment and that one of your friends as let you down so completely
It sounds like you're feeling really betrayed at the moment because your friend abused your trust and told people things you'd said in confidence. We all know that those can be really difficult emotions to feel, and I think it's really good that you've found a way of expressing by writing poetry rather than just letting them get bottled up.
You might want to keep thinking about how you feel, and maybe you'll find it useful to keep documenting your thoughts, as you have in your poem?
Remember that whether you choose to forgive your friend or not is entirely up to you. You alone have the power in this situation to decide whether or not to extend forgiveness, so try and remember that fact if you scared about making the choice.
Perhaps you'd also like to think about what might happen if you do or don't choose to forgive. How do you feel your friendship would be if you decide to continue it? Will you still have to see them around if you decide not to, how would that feel? These a couple of suggestions, but I'm sure if you think it would be helpful that you could think of lots of questions to help think about the possible outcomes of you decision.
If you do decide to forgive and try to continue your friendship you might find it useful to read our article about telling friends they need to change to keep a friendship.
Whatever you decide, please don't forget that theSite community will always be here to offer you support. Do let us all know how you're getting on.
Will. *hug*
u r bloody brilliant
Shes always gave me shit or judged me in arguments,
was never there 4 me when was friends,
after her saying my eating disorder groups r stupid and putting all over face book im sucidal i dont think i can forgive her infact i dont want to because she hurt me a lot,
Im scared ill forgive her because im a pushover always forgiving people
id be a complete idiot for forgiving her and ill regret it big time!!
I feel so down i cancelled seeing my care worker on thursay feel too down to even go out and dont wanna keep going through things.
i dont know hunie im just so fed up xx
I think Black Hawk Down is right. There is a big difference between forgiving someone and deciding to continue a friendship. Often we think of them as being one and the same, but they don't have to be. You can, if you want, choose to forgive someone but decide not to be their friend anymore.
The really important thing to remember, is that it's always your decision.
I'm really sorry to hear how down this is all making you. You say you cancelled seeing your care worker because you don't want to keep going through things. Is there anyone else you think you'd like to talk to? I know that it's not helpful to 'keep going through things', but maybe there's someone you can think of to talk to who you could more than just go through things with, if that makes sense?
There are even lots of services available, like the Samaritans, of people who are willing just to listen. They, and others like them, are willing to listen (whether that's by phone, e-mail, letter, however!) to whatever you have to say: no problem is too big or too small. And of course you can keep sharing here, and we'll listen and continue to help in the small way that we can.
Anyway, I hope that's helpful in some way. Do continue to let us know how you're getting on.
Will *hug*
will i just sometimes feel i cant talk to anyone not just my care worker,
im very de stressed very annoyed angry hurt if im honest,
Needed amanda the other day she was busy which is UNDERSANDABLE but reception said she'll ring me back but never
:-(
i stupidly got mad and cancelled my appointment,
then regretted it big time so left a voice mail asking wheather
i can still see her - i got no reply :-(
And today was the day the appoinement wud of been - maybe shes angry withme ??
maybe shes punishing me ??
Or maybe i just dont deserve her help ?
thanks for ur support xx
you shouldnt feel an idiot for making up with your friend, did you like spending time with her? did she make you laugh. was you there for her everytime she needed you ? as maybe she was nnever there for you becasue she felt you was not there for her ?
It seems youu have no issues talking to people on here so how come not in the real world?a careworkers job is to help and listen to problems
your careworker will have many other patients to see and it would be selfish of her to cancel other peoples appointments to fit you in afer you cancelled your appointment.
you said she never rang you back well she never said she would it was the receptionists saying she would call( which maybe they shouldnt say as it is not fair on you)
i can understand why careworker never called you back as your messing her about and you think shes punishing you well maybe thats how she feels as you cancel yours/her appointment becasue your angry. i would defintly say that shes not punishing you though and just wants to help you as it is her job
maybe keep next appointment and see what she has to say she may help
xoxoxo
im sooooooooooooo mad!!
feel gulity
i h8 myself!!
and no my mate werent there 4 me id say im down she'd say oh right thats it x
sometimes people feel they have too much stuff to deal with themselfs to take on other ppls problems, it doesnt mean they dont want to help, just that they are dealing with stuff. Also some people dont know how to help or what to do