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Telling parents how we met (online dating)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hello,

I had a go with online dating and got talking to a lad who I seemed to 'click' with. We messaged for a couple of months then met up for a date. It went really well and we had the second date bowling and a meal yesterday. He has asked me what I want to do on the 3rd date, so im getting the feeling something is going to come out of it (a relationship hopefully) and am thinking about telling my parents.

I don't live at home, however I am always in touch and they know what im doing and who im going with etc. They know I only know people from work at the moment as I have recently moved to a new city for a job.

Im thinking of just telling them the truth, but my mum worries so much about meeting people online etc, and ive been telling her im out with people from work when im on a date with him. So I feel guilty for lying.

Anyone been in a similar situation, what do you recommend?

Thanks

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my experience it's a hard thing for parents to understand, it's like the interracial dating of the new generation. Most of the older generation isn't as internet savvy as their kids and they get most of their information about online dating through the news. And of course the news glorifies stories such as the "Craigslist killer" and old men who claim to be young men meeting up with teenage girls.

    Lately I've been trying to sort of sensitize my parents to the idea (I'm 17). There are plenty of people on the internet I plan on meeting in the near future (Not necessarily for dating) but the idea seems so foreign and "dangerous" to them. I would just try to present it to your parents as something normal. Let them know that it's how a lot of people our age do things, because it is!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I met my ex online, so I understand how it can be difficult to bring this up with your parents. Basically, I introduced him to them as just a friend, and after they'd met him and realized he wasn't a 55 year-old man who wears black socks with sandals, they were okay with it all. My mom knows most of my close internet friends (some are even friends with her on Facebook xD), and both of my parents trust me not to do something stupid. You just need to remind your parents that you're responsible and that they can trust you to make good decisions. Since you don't live at home, I'm going to assume that you're an adult rather than being 16 or something, and that'll make this easier. You're a big girl, and they've raised you not to be a total idiot. xP
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely the first time you met him IRL was somewhere else though. It would not be a lie to say that's where you were then...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MoK wrote: »
    Surely the first time you met him IRL was somewhere else though. It would not be a lie to say that's where you were then...

    I smell a loop-hole!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Life is all about loop-holes :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on the relationship with your parents. My parents know we met on the internet- this website, in fact- because I told them when I went to meet GWST IRL for the first time. I would have tried to not tell them, of course, but it's a bit hard to go off on a 200 mile round trip without someone noticing!

    If they aren't people who would understand, just be creative. We have an official story- met at a Uni open day and stayed in touch by email- and we have the real story.

    TBH I think people are generally far more accepting of the internet as a place to meet people than they were ten years ago when I met my wife. Try telling them the truth and see what happens. I don't think that there's any stigma involved any more, given that even the Guardian newspaper has an online dating agency.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really don't know, both my parents met their current partners online so I don't think mine would be too bothered, but I'd still find it embarrassing!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just try and be open and honest what can they do ?
    Parents will worry regardless of what u are doing.
    What i will say thou is u should not have lied about going on a date what if he had turned out to be a bloody weirdo and u had disapeared without trace?? They would just think u had been out with friends?? People must know where u are going when u do meet a stranger online. Thats why parents worry!!!! x:banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi ladylala,

    How exciting that things are going well for you and this lad you met online :)

    It can be very tough to introduce new people to your parents, let alone someone they might not approve of simply because of the way you met. As Clan Mother Red suggested, it could be a good idea to introduce him first (as a friend or bf) before you tell them how you met?

    Seems like you have a good relationship with your parents, so perhaps being honest is the best policy. You could make sure you mention what safety precautions you took and how safe you were when you met him offline. Perhaps you had a friend with you or you made sure it was in public and that people knew where you were?

    They might not like it at first, but they will eventually get used to the idea - and who knows, if you have a future with him you wouldn't want to always remember the made up story!

    Hope it goes well, good luck :):wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I met mine online through a dating site and didn't want to admit it so I tend to suggest we got to know each other via facebook/people we both know as we went to the same college and we have the same degree at uni (went to different unis though).

    Now he doesn't have facebook anymore and was never an avid user so we never even became friends on there until much later but no one needs to know that. :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that as a young tech savvy generation, its not mainly that it is becoming more acceptable to do the online dating thing, just that as our generation gets older and out of the young adult years, we give less of a fuck of how we find out happiness :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum met her partner on a dating site nearly 10 years ago now, and if she can do it, there's no shame for me doing exactly the same thing :)
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