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New relationship...not enough sex? Opinions!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Thanks for the advice guys, this problem has been solved.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he has quite a busy life - did he have to be up early for work the next day? Maybe he just has a lower sex drive than you, in which case it's not your fault just the way he is! Do you try initiating things or do you just leave that to him?

    Once a week (or less) does sound less than normal early into a typical relationship though. I don't have a huge sex drive (can quite easily have a relationship without sex) but in the last relationship I was in we ended up having sex 2 or 3 times a week.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lets put things into perspective here, my current partner (who is pregnant with my child) and I didnt sleep together at all till about a couple of months of going out, need to note that we had known each other much longer as well.

    If you are complaining about lack of sex after going out for 7 weeks, remember that some people who do have rabbit like sex lives, have not even slept together after going out for a couple of months.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    Lets put things into perspective here, my current partner (who is pregnant with my child) and I didnt sleep together at all till about a couple of months of going out, need to note that we had known each other much longer as well.

    If you are complaining about lack of sex after going out for 7 weeks, remember that some people who do have rabbit like sex lives, have not even slept together after going out for a couple of months.
    And some people do it after a week. And then lose their sex drive and their sex-obsessed boyfriends get pissed off and dump them after three months. Ahem.

    It's all relative. If you feel like you're not having enough sex, though, say something.

    I should say that that's not the only reason he broke up with me. I'm not naive enough to believe that it wasn't a big part of it, though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Instead of dropping hints you could just come out and say "Hey let's have sex!" if he says no ask why and then you can figure out what's wrong. Just talk to him and find out what's going on or you won't get the answer.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Nicole25,

    This must be a tough situation for you. You mention a couple of times that this is something important for you. If you feel strongly about this, there is no reason why you shouldn't talk to him. As you say, it is important to pick the right moment, and it is understandable for you to feel worried about mentioning this to him as it is early days.

    There could be many reasons why he might not feel the need as much as you do. As krng mentioned his sex drive might be different to yours. Or he may have low libido, due to many different reasons e.g. tired, down...?

    Either way perhaps speaking to him might help. Communication in couples is essential in order to deal with certain issues. He might react defensively at first, yet just try and make sure he knows you are not attacking him and that you simply enjoy having sex with him and this is why you are asking!

    Please do not hesitate to keep posting,
    Good luck :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find this bizarre...most guys want to have sex at least once or twice a day...the only way to find out why he's doesn't want it regularly is to ask him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote: »
    most guys want to have sex at least once or twice a day...

    Although that's mostly the ones that aren't getting it...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Where the ones who are want more?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no idea, I can't remember that far back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    Although that's mostly the ones that aren't getting it...

    So what about those who are getting it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Where the ones who are want more?

    Nowhere, all their base are belong to us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that phrase belongs in the "you know you're old when" thread.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I think that phrase belongs in the "you know you're old when" thread.

    I rather fancy it belongs in response to horribly crafted grammar
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aha!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BIG GAY STOP BEING RUDE AND ANSWER MY QUESTION EH

    btw I get loads so hence my interest in your no doubt highly insightful theory :cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Which question has he not answered?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Which question has he not answered?

    Seek and ye shall find.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about those that are getting it at least twice a day?

    Katralla suggest they would want more. I'm not so sure - but the only people I know who express a desire for sex that often aren't getting it very often at all - but of course there is a huge difference between wanting it more,. and saying you want it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    the only people I know who express a desire for sex that often aren't getting it very often at all

    Well sure, you're not likely to express how much you want something when you're already getting it to the extent that you would when you're not getting it. That makes sense.

    But you're saying people who are getting it don't desire it, right? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah some guys have a lower sex drive. hmm and yes... 7 months? really maybe wait longer. if u really want answers ask him!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id dump him tbh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think a low sex drive 7 weeks into a relationship, would mean its only going to get lower.
    I dont think the fact some people might not have even had sex by that point, is relevant. if youve started having sex, and its anything other than cant keep your hands off each other" id say there wasnt enough passion for me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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