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starting all over again...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was effectively homeless before I started Uni, and have been living out of halls for nearly 3 years, but when my tenency runs out at the end of May, I will have no where to go - I don't have a family home, my mother is unable to work due to illness, and has been sofa-surfing between my room in halls and a friend's house (and this friend has made it difficult for her to be there all the time, even though she has a spare bedroom, which has sort of become my mother's room).
I don't really have ties to any particular place, because i've moved around so much, so I'm really not sure where to move to. I've talked to my boyfriend, but we aren't ready to move in together, and he's said he'd like me not to become dependent on his friends, incase we do split up (unlikely, but I totally understand his logic). I was going to move near to a friend who was going to be moving about 50 miles from my boyfriend's place, but she's now said that this is unlikely as she hasn't been able to find any potencial work there.
Now, I'm really unsure what to do, I don't know if I start up another family home with my mother, but i could end up becoming her carer, which i really don't want to do, or I could start up something on my own, but i'm worried about making friends and finding a job - I'm just about to finish a music degree, and i'm hoping to take a year out from academia (as I'm thinking of going on to do an MA and then potencially a PhD) to establish some roots and consentrate on sorting out me - I've had a series of illnesses and issues come up whilst at uni, and haven't been able to take the time out to sort them.
I'm currently based in London, and I really need to leave, partly because its too expencive, and the jobs I've ben looking at don't have pay which is in line with the price hike of accomodation and also because I can't take the hecticness.
I suppose I'm looking for some perspective on the situation - I need to start looking at my options pretty soon, but I'm wondering if there is a solution staring me in the face, or if it really is a case of looking at the pros and cons of all the available posibilities.
Thanks!
I don't really have ties to any particular place, because i've moved around so much, so I'm really not sure where to move to. I've talked to my boyfriend, but we aren't ready to move in together, and he's said he'd like me not to become dependent on his friends, incase we do split up (unlikely, but I totally understand his logic). I was going to move near to a friend who was going to be moving about 50 miles from my boyfriend's place, but she's now said that this is unlikely as she hasn't been able to find any potencial work there.
Now, I'm really unsure what to do, I don't know if I start up another family home with my mother, but i could end up becoming her carer, which i really don't want to do, or I could start up something on my own, but i'm worried about making friends and finding a job - I'm just about to finish a music degree, and i'm hoping to take a year out from academia (as I'm thinking of going on to do an MA and then potencially a PhD) to establish some roots and consentrate on sorting out me - I've had a series of illnesses and issues come up whilst at uni, and haven't been able to take the time out to sort them.
I'm currently based in London, and I really need to leave, partly because its too expencive, and the jobs I've ben looking at don't have pay which is in line with the price hike of accomodation and also because I can't take the hecticness.
I suppose I'm looking for some perspective on the situation - I need to start looking at my options pretty soon, but I'm wondering if there is a solution staring me in the face, or if it really is a case of looking at the pros and cons of all the available posibilities.
Thanks!
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Income - i've got some savings but I'd be willing to take on retail jobs and what not until i could find something a bit more long term.
Often house shares arent' as bad as halls and are pretty easy to find plus they can only be temporary.
Plus try to be openminded, every stranger is a potential friend.
http://www.houseshare.co.uk/
http://www.spareroom.co.uk/
If you don't have any better plans and need somewhere for when you finish in halls then find a shared house in the area you were at uni, that way you know the area and can hunt temp or retail type jobs there. Then you've got a fix until you know what you're doing next.
Not all of London is hectic, by any stretch, particularly once you get out of the student life style.
House shares are completely different to halls, gum tree, spare room etc all have them on. Best thing about a lot of them is you can be on pretty short notice, so you can find somewhere that's definite to go for when you're done with uni, but not be tied into a long term contract.
You seem to be in a tricky situation that baffles most of us at some point in our lives. However, it’s great that you are proactive and thinking about it before your current accommodation at university halls ends. There is help out there to find out about the wealth of housing options out there.
You sound sensible and you’ve probably done this already; but a good starting point is to think about where you would like to live and what your budget is. Wyetry and Scary Monster make a good point about finding a job and then somewhere to live. This way you know you have a steady income coming in to pay the rent.
There is an organisation called HousingOptions who help people find affordable homes in London. I know you mentioned wanting to move away from London, but it might be worth having a look around their website to see what kind of accommodation you could have in London.
You may also like to have a look at Shelter’s website which has a lot of information. There is a page called Getting a place which has links to other pages on their website. For example you can read about how to rent privately or how to make an application to the local Council for housing.
Speaking of the Council – have a look at your current local council’s website. They should have information about Housing Options in the local area and what help they can offer. If you are not eligible for applying for a Council property directly, you may be eligible for other Council schemes. For example some council’s will pay your deposit and first month’s rent for you to enable you to enter the private rented sector. Have a look at other council’s websites too to get a feel for what's on offer.
Shelter also has a really good booklet called Finding a place to live which you can read from their website. It has a lot of information in it which you may find useful so check it out.
Finally, if you would like to talk to someone experienced in giving housing advice, you can call Shelter on their helpline. Their number is 0808 800 4444 and they are open 8am-8pm Monday-Friday and 8am-5pm Saturday-Sunday.
I hope this helps and good luck.
I need to leave London - I hate it here, I have no friends here, everything seems so expensive. I need to set up a permanent base, my health has been really badly effected by the stress of frequent moving - plus I have a number of ongoing issues which have to be monitored, and moving around often means my notes get lost between drs and hospitals. I have also been advised that if I can afford it, I should go part time for a year to try and get a handle on my health & stress levels. If I supplement my income with my savings, I think it's possible. But that then totally changes the ball park!
If you're looking at doing a Masters in a year or so's time or working in a particular industry then you probably want to look at somewhere that would work for that. If that points towards London then remember the commuter belt. Commuting isn't all evil and if you're on a fast line into one of the major London stations your journey can be the same time as pratting about on the tube network.
Richmond/Twickenham etc are very different to London proper.
Further out but still easy trips in if you need to for a course or a job are places like Watford, Amersham, Woking, Guildford.........
Depends whether you think you need to stay somewhere with good access to London really.
If you want good access to medical support type stuff, then might be easiest staying in a major town or city.
Things have changed a bit since i started this post - I've been in hospital for a week, with a stress-related illness, and I think I need to do a bit of a life overhaul, and seriously limit my stress. I'm thinking now that it might make more sense for me and my mother to move in together to somewhere semi-rural, where waiting lists might be shorter than north west outer london, and i might spend a year doing part time work, but giving myself the time to get better, and then looking at going back to do my MA or what ever next year.
Thank you for all your suggestions, they have been really helpful to get some perspective on the situation.
Income - i've got some savings but I'd be willing to take on retail jobs and what not until i could find something a bit more long term.
Sorry to hear that you had to go into hospital recently.
I'm glad you found everyone's suggestions insightful; that's what we're here for.
I hope you find a somewhere that you are happy with for you and your mother.
Good luck