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Triggered - MAY TRIGGER
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone,
I'm starting to feel really down and quite triggered tonight, i havent cut in agesss now i really wanna,
I know i shudnt because my arms r already a mess, i just dont know what to do, i wish my care worker wudnt blame me for thursday when tried to kill myself, and saying that i said to her if i kill myself its her fault wen theres noway i said that and my m8 was with me
Argh i duno what to say, duno what to do, ppl say complain about care worker but i ent got it in me i let ppl walk all over me, maybe she knows i wont talk so can be horrible!!!
she wasnt there when i needed her the most b4 i took an overdose and ended up being taken to hospital via ambulance, she just doesnt care, sometimes i wish i succeded im not wanted and ill be with my nan and gramp
xx
I'm starting to feel really down and quite triggered tonight, i havent cut in agesss now i really wanna,
I know i shudnt because my arms r already a mess, i just dont know what to do, i wish my care worker wudnt blame me for thursday when tried to kill myself, and saying that i said to her if i kill myself its her fault wen theres noway i said that and my m8 was with me
Argh i duno what to say, duno what to do, ppl say complain about care worker but i ent got it in me
i let ppl walk all over me, maybe she knows i wont talk so can be horrible!!!she wasnt there when i needed her the most b4 i took an overdose and ended up being taken to hospital via ambulance, she just doesnt care, sometimes i wish i succeded im not wanted and ill be with my nan and gramp
xx
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Comments
Sound's like you are feeling low today and that things aren't working out for you with your care worker. Is there any way you can tell her directly how she has made you feel? There may be confusion around what has been said and things interpreted the wrong way, on both parts. Being honest with her may open new doors of exploring how you feel. Have you asked her about her not being around before you took an overdose? She may have a valid reason. Maybe she wasn't working at the time? However, if you feel that you are really not getting the help that you need and that she being horrible to you, then perhaps you could ask to be transfered to another worker?
Sound's like you have found new ways of coping instead of harming as you said you haven't done it in ages - what kind of things have you been doing? Can you use some of these tonight?
Take care and keep posting
i hate myself soooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
amanda was around she sent my letter bk unopened coz not helping my confidenece, to be honest i give up with her now, ignore the bitchyness !!
she wont leave thursday im fed up i just wanna forget it
Doing me another care plan banning writing letters banning voice mails so got to ring which is outta my comfort zone and no more going a&e if suicidal :O
How are you today? I have been in a similar situation in my past and I know it feel's impossible to cope with but you need to stay strong.
I am glad you hadn't cut for a while but you did unfortunetly yesterday 3 times did you keep you cut's clean afterwards?
If you do feel suicidal, have you thought of e-mailing samaritans, I have a few times there replies are very quick and helpful as well or if it's possible call them
How old are you?
Please do not cut, it is very bad and can make you ill
Take care hope to hear from you soon,
All my love,
*Upset_Scared_Unsure.
soooo argggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry x
How are things going with your care worker now? xx
If you didn't always let your self down so easily life would be easier. You want help I know as you've joined other sittes like this asking for help exact similar poems x
Have you tried expressing your self through creativity? or even try positive self talk? tell me hw it goes
You shouldn't put your self down so easily like that. You may think like that about your self, many people do the same, thinking of all the negative stuff when failing on the positive. Sit and talk through it with someone who will be able to make you feel more confident about yourself?
Have you tried SANEline at all they also have a messageboard which is a bit like this who support people like you maybe think about joining their boards it has a wider higher adult age range and please consider samaritans as well.
Take care