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I'm losing it...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've just broken up for the summer holidays today and I've been dreading this day for weeks...

I've been feeling so unhappy for months now, and this week knowing that I'm away from school (where i feel safe and happy) for 6 weeks, I just keep crying, I actually cannot do this 6 weeks, I really don't see myself comming out of it at the end.

I absolutly hate being at home and I hate being with my friends outside of school, so I'm sort of stuffed really.. but I will go see them if it means I'm away from home, which I'm doing, I've made myself make plans I can't get out of.

But other then the few plans I've made I've got nothing going on and I really can't do it.. I don't have my teacher to talk to throughout the 6 weeks and I really need to talk to someone about everything.
I've posted a previous thread about counselling and I've put my name down on the waiting list, but I'm waiting for a call back and it should be in a week or two time. But I just feel like I won't be able to talk to them because I don't trust them because I don't know them!

I know I'm rambling and this probably doesn't make any sense, I just need to let it out because no one understands that I really can't handle this.. I honestly think I may lose it and do something stupid because I can't cope.

Sorry for repeating myself and babbling on.. just need to say something but it's sticking on my mind ALL the time...

Thanks.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry you feel like that :( I've just finished university and returned home, and it's just such a massive come down. Do you have a part-time job? I used to find that helped me keep busy, and out of the house, just to give me something to do. Why do you hate seeing your friends outside of school, are they different?

    My only advice is to keep busy really, but I know when you feel really down it's so hard/impossible to get the motivation to do things. Counselling sounds like a good idea for someone to talk to, is there no one at home you can talk about how you feel with? And of course, there's always on here :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you thought about doing some volunter work? that would keep you occuppied? I do it and it is really fun and so worth while.

    Why is it that you are not keen to see your friends outside of school?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't have a job, I was hoping to get one out of my work experience as they offered jobs but I didn't get one and I'm not sure if I should ask for one.. I would love to do volunteer work, but I don't know if there is anything around where I live and I don't know how to go about doing that..
    I am also trying to keep myself busy, it's hard because nothing happens where I live and I'm quiet short on money, but I'm trying my best.

    I don't see my friends that much in school anyway, I just find their company really.. a struggle to be around, just conversations and things, they're great my friends.. I just can't be bothered with it all..

    But yep, I'm trying my best at keeping busy and waiting for the call.
    I think they've rang twice but the number was 'unknown' but they called one time I was in class and on a school trip when I was in line for a ride and I missed it.. My teacher said to call them next week if I haven't heard from them but I'm not sure if it was them calling in the first place..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Bleepy, if you are interested in volunteering, maybe this website will be useful. Just select what you are interested in and where you live :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've just been looking at that :)
    But I think I'm to young for the majority of stuff, I'm 15 and don't you have to be at least 16?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the website, there is a page that mentions volunteering for under 16's. Perhaps give that a read and see if anything comes up that way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi bleepy :wave:

    If you're feeling the need to talk, you can always ring Childline on 0800 1111. If you feel counselling would be best then that's great, but until you speak to them then Childline are a good option to fill the gap.

    What is it about being at home that you dislike so much?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey bleepy,

    Sorry you're feeling this way about the summer, I understand it can be stressful to be out of your routine. I think you're right to try keeping busy, summer jobs or volunteering are a good option. Otherwise maybe spend time doing something you enjoy or exploring something you're interested in, visit museums, galleries etc

    Definately give them a call about the counselling too!

    I hope you find something that works for you,

    dp :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know why I hate being at home, just as soon as I'm here I just want to cry and feel so down :crying:
    I really cant do this, it's to hard :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crap :/

    I was comming home from the cinema today with my mum and as we were driving up my road i got a call from the counsellours.. Said they had an appointment for Monday at 9 and because my mum was there I panicked and said I couldn't do that day.. and now i'm kicking myself because I need it...
    Another reason I said no was because I try to one thing each day and on monday I'll have the kickboxing (if i carry out with it)... Hm,

    thought i'd say because i've decided not to email my teacher anymore I'll talk to her after the holidays, not gonna bother her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Bleepy,

    You may have to prioritise? It sound's from what you have said that you are keen to go to counselling - so you could always call them tommorrow, explain what happened and arrange a time for you to go? And if you have other plans - maybe try to work around it so that you can go to counselling session offered?

    Take care & keep posting :)
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