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First time- Nervous
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi =D
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months, we have been talking and have both decided that we’re both ready to sleep with each other. I am 16 he’s 17. We both feel that we’re ready, the only thing is that I’m a virgin and he’s not, so I feel like he will be comparing me to the other girl he slept with. Naturally I’m nervous and a bit unsure about things, I just want to make sure everything is perfect and special. Any advice on what I can do to make him happy and make sure everything is special.
There’s a few things I’m most nervous about, any ideas on how I can set a good atmosphere, also I don’t want to have ‘dead fish syndrome’ so when he’s on top of me, what’s the best thing to do with my hands…
My friend told me that the first time is shit so I wanna make it as special as it can be lol, she also said that it hurts and that I’m most likely to bleed.
Any advice would be much appreciated
Thanks Ally xx
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months, we have been talking and have both decided that we’re both ready to sleep with each other. I am 16 he’s 17. We both feel that we’re ready, the only thing is that I’m a virgin and he’s not, so I feel like he will be comparing me to the other girl he slept with. Naturally I’m nervous and a bit unsure about things, I just want to make sure everything is perfect and special. Any advice on what I can do to make him happy and make sure everything is special.
There’s a few things I’m most nervous about, any ideas on how I can set a good atmosphere, also I don’t want to have ‘dead fish syndrome’ so when he’s on top of me, what’s the best thing to do with my hands…
My friend told me that the first time is shit so I wanna make it as special as it can be lol, she also said that it hurts and that I’m most likely to bleed.
Any advice would be much appreciated
Thanks Ally xx
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Comments
I wouldn't worry about him comparing you to her, worry more about how you two can try to connect with each other and get a feel of each other. Have you talked about what you are expecting from each other and from the first time you have sex?
Have you sorted out suitable contraception and somewhere you can do it where you will be safe and relaxed?
Your friend is wrong, the first time isn't always shit. You are doing the right thing by asking questions and trying to be prepared. It also helps to have realistic expectations. You two are not going to be doing zen tantric shit your first times together, nobody does. And, the fact that he has slept with someone before doesn't make him experienced, he is probably quite inexperienced too.
We have talked about it loads and just decided we are really ready so I think I should be quite relaxed . We have talked about what we are expecting.
We have got my house to ourselves all week so we have a place where we will be relaxed and safe and yeah he’s got the contraception sorted.
Think I was just a bit nervous cause he’s slept with someone before, but when I think about he’s probs as inexperienced as me.
Thanks again xx
I think i'm a bit less nervous now
Ally xx
I don't know, but it makes sense to me that things will go so much better if - as Katralla hopes - you've found out about how each other's bodies work on other occasions.
Either way though, I don't wanna sound like a graphic perv or something, but as others mentioned, there is lots of stuff to try before having actual sex. You can cuddle and rub each other, fingering, licking, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. If you aren't in a major hurry, you could go for months doing stuff like this because it's a lot of fun. So that could definitely ease you in to things. And then eventually sex will just be the next logical step and it won't be that big of a step.
But good luck anyway whatever you decide to do. Take your time and do it only when you really really want to do it, and then it will be good.
16 isn't really young to have sex. 16 is the legal age.
If you're going to be on bottom, Ally, run your hands over him, and move your legs around him too you won't be a dead fish ;p
Any first time is nerve wracking, but after that, it's just fun!
Good luck! x
Not that I'm against it or anything, people can do whatever they want. I'm just saying, she needn't rush in to anything if she's not quite ready yet.
Fucking hell, I agree with geneve *goes outside and checks the colour of the sky and comes back in to check which way round the water is draining*
I think you should sort out your own contraception too. And going together to get him checked for STIs would also be a responsible thing to do.
Yeah we've done stuff before, fingering and blow jobs ect, so we do understand eachother, We are both ready and feel its just the next step to our relationship =D
I'm on the pill so my contraception is sorted, and i'm gonna mention to him about getting checked out first just to be safe.
Ally xx
well everybody else has gone on and on about contraception age blah blah. im 17 and my girlfriend only just turned 17 a few months ago, and we have been going out for about 8 months as well and we're going to sleep together:P so yeah in the same boat but hopefully this reply isn't too late cause i only just saw this post today!
well lets see, setting the atmosphere, it really comes down to foreplay i think if you want that. do it in ur or his bedroom cause it would suck to have ur first time with him in like a forest or something lol. go with some pretty extreme kissing, like properly get in there, start touching him in those hot erotic places :P once you are on the bed, i would take your top off in front of him, slowly and then maybe start off his dry sex or something?
yeah the whole dead fish thing is annoying lol, wrap ur legs around him and use ur hands, kiss him while he's going for it. tell him how good he is while u are doing it. mooostttt likely...the first time u two do it, he is gonna cum first, which annoys the crap out girls eventually but he may eventually learn to make you go wild eventually too :P im not sure what else to say, to be honest, everything i just said there arent like rules or anything , just ideas. oh the bleeding part, yeah theres a small tissue or something i cant remember i read it somewhere thats soppose to rip(ever heard of the phrase "virgin blood"?) and u bleed a little, it might hurt the first time if he goes too hard and stuff but just tell him, and u know..make it special and stuff. enjoy ! x