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what you are feeling really does point to an unhealthy relationship with food, maybe even an eating disorder. the weight of the world shouldnt be on your shoulders for enjoying milk with cereal.
does any of what is on this website strike a chord with you?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/disorders_eating.shtml
and
•Smoking and chewing gum to keep your weight down
•Becoming extremely stressed about losing weight
•Feeling extremely guilty about your eating pattern, but staying a normal weight (but not normal)
So it can't be an eating disorder cos thats three out of loads. imm just fat, :impissed: :banghead:
it isnt a test score, i really hope that you're able to see that the way you're feeling about yourself and food isn't healthy. do any of your friends or family know that you feel this way?
some friends know i skip meals, they take my lunch from me in school. my family are argghhh. cant stand them atm..
At the moment you seem to be describing a situation where your happiness and control of how you feel about yourself is becoming, or is, linked to how well you manage to control what you eat. The way the body works means that it doesn't suddenly change shape when you eat, especially when you've eaten the amount you describe.
If you're starting to feel that even eating something like that is making you feel suddenly fat then you should try to consider the possibility that you're telling yourself, for whatever reason, that your fatter - even though biologically that's impossible.
It's that connection between being happy and controlling what you eat that is a big concern. If you start to link witholding what your body needs to survive and be healthy with being happy or in control, then it can develop into something that can take a lot to overcome.
As Franki mentioned, the mind is able to convince us of things that simply aren't physically true. A person can look in a mirror and see themselves completely differently from the way the rest of the world sees them. That disconnection around body image can lead to eating problems and difficulties.
I don't know if you'd consider speaking to someone from Beat, the eating disorders association, just to chat to them about how you are feeling about food? You can call their helpline on 0845 634 1414 or on their Youthline on 0845 634 7650.
I'm not saying you have an eating disorder and I know it might be scary to call a helpline, but I think it might just be helpful for you to see what they have to say. You could always hang up if you want to, so maybe consider calling them, if only to see if they say anything that rings true with you. If it doesn't then it's cost you nothing more than a phone call.
You also mention hiding things from your family and having problems at school. Is there any connection between how stressed you are and how fat you feel? Would it help to share some of those problems here to see if it takes a little of the load off?
I hope posting helps you feel supported right now and please bear in mind, even if it might read like everyone is saying the opposite of what you feel, everyone has the best intentions in mind and just wants to help.
I don'tt even knooowwww!!! ):
I think the advice everyone else has given on here has been great; and I do think that the way you're describing your emotions and behaviour signals an eating disorder.
However, I just wanted to respond to your original post with what I think you need to bear in mind when approaching weight loss and healthy eating.
The way most people see food and fat is like this: Your body is like a car. If you put in petrol, it runs. If you don't, it doesn't.
However, what many people don't understand is that your body is a little bit more sophisticated than that. It actually adapts to patterns. Fat is like a backup tank of petrol that your body stores in case of times of hardship. If you run out of petrol, that's what it uses to keep going. So, if I eat regular meals with a good balance of protein, carbs, vegetables and fibre, my body gets used to that, and my metabolism speeds up to make sure it is able to get the most out of the food. However, if I don't eat for a day, my body thinks 'Right, I'm not going to have anything else for ages again, so I'd better squeeze all the fat out of whatever Butterflykisses eats next'. This happens whether the next thing you eat is a good balanced meal or a chocolate bar. If you do this regularly, your metabolism becomes sluggish and less able to process your food properly, and you'll also find that although you've reduced your intake of food in general, you're storing more fat that you would be otherwise.
I play Capoeira twice a week for 2 hours each time, and I cycle whenever I can. I also eat five small meals a day. I know that if I were to start skipping breakfast and eating irregularly, I would put on weight really really fast.
Hope that helps you in some way; I'd suggest that you schedule your own mealtimes so that your body always has SOMETHING to be working on. It'll minimise the likelihood of it feeling like it needs to store fat, and it will keep you energised. Even if it's something like an apple, keep your metabolism busy and fat won't get a look in.
i can relate to this and the best thing you can do is get help
maybe see a school councellor? before it gets worse
im here if you ever want to talk
Lemon x
Aye aye aye, professionals are not my kind of person. I desperately want to talk to one but because of previous experiences i can't trust them cos of confidentiality, and i know they're just doing their job and trying to protect me and all that jazz, it just makes things harder
i think ringing the helpline that jim mentioned could be worthwhile?
from an outsider's perspective and i think pretty much everyone who has responded to this thread, it's clear you've developed unhealthy thoughts around food and it does seem as though it is an eating disorder. please get help soon.
i agree but dont necessarily think it's something annarrr should tackle by herself. annarr you need support! maybe give that number a ring to discuss the feelings you've been having with them?
yes i know it's wrong, but its the only way i can see myself losing weight without eating anything, because i don't want to have anything inside me that will make me fatter.
i agree that you cant force it on them. but someone with an eating disorder may not be in the best position to weigh up what is 'right' and what is 'wrong', i wouldnt have thought it would even be part of their thinking. but i can see that you're trying to make annarr realise this is unhealthy.
yes, thats what im trying to acheive atm (:
healthy weight
if you dont chose to get better in your mind about what you think about yourself and food then you will end up seeing one with no choice who, trust me on that one!
fuck. this.:banghead: :crying:
try to think of yourself with kind words. Eating a few 'wrong't hings does not make you any less of a person.
Be kind to yourself.
x
it makes me more of a person cos im getting bigger and bigger evenn if i am careful i just get bigger :banghead: :crying:
work out a sensible eating plan where you get enough energy to keep you going. you can eat properly and still be slim and lovely. please try not to fall deeper into the trap of thinking that eating less will make you thin; your body's metabolism will just slow down to accommodate for the reduced intake; you won't lose much weight and, as you've seen, in the end up you will end up eating too much because you're so damn hungry. as the others have said, you are still growing and you are going to get heavier as you get taller. i understand how uncomfortable that feels but it is natural and healthy. growing does not equal getting fat. please try to accept that. try to eat well and eat healthily, and your body will thank you for it.
i was your age when i started on the slippery slope. i'm 20 now and it's worse than ever. please don't let it happen to you.
xxx