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nnnnnnneeeeeerrrrrggghhh :@

Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
in Health & Wellbeing
i don't even know. i just feel like poo. i want to cut but the thoughts of my mum finding them makes me go :banghead: which makes me wanna do it more. and i really want to cry and tell someone about how im feeling but too much shit happens when i do. help ?FML ! :crying: :banghead: :confused: :impissed: :eek:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talk to me, nothing bad can come out of that babe. even if i cant help you solve the things that are upsetting you then i can still listen and just that is quite nice x As for you mum, does she really get angry or upset or anything??

    Loveyoulots! x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Annaarrr!!

    How are you feeling today? You know that the boards are always here day and night to let us know how you are feeling :heart:
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    My stupid head will not shut up about cutting :mad: argh. and im really angry and i dont know why and i really dont want to start smoking :banghead: screaming and crying is what is really appealing at the moment :/ :crying: :banghead: :nervous:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Annaarr,

    How are you feeling now?you mentioned you had stuff going on at the mo, do you wanna chat???Please feel free to do so. Might give you some release....:wave:
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    I haven't stopped bloody eating :mad: i want to cut again :banghead: i dont know if i'm feeling like this because of my nan passing away. i just feel kinda numb. running away for a while seems like a good idea, or its just the thought of being alone that might seem nice, i dunno :/:crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Annaarr,

    Sounds like the numbness is bugging you as you want to feel something so bad and you like the idea of being alone too.

    Perhaps you may be experiencing shock from your bereavement and want to feel something and feel it now, thus the urge to self harm.:crying:

    Death is a really tough thing to deal with and the numbess is pretty normal believe it or not. Please dont feel bad for that.

    Do have any distraction techniques to get you through. writing or drawing how you feel may help too if you cant express it.

    Keep posting:)
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    But nothing WORKS anymore. just the blood. ohh i sound like a wacko :crazyeyes But thinking about her dying doesnt upset me anymore. theres nothing there. and school is pants my behaviour is bummed and i cant sit through my lessons. just struggling through each day drains me and i still cant sleep :banghead: :crying:
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    Oh oh ooohhh everything is SO SHIT :mad: :banghead: and i dont even know why! i just feel like poo. and the mood swings are sending my emotions WAY off balance. one second I'll be high as a kite, next I'm sitting in class or at home shaking cos i just wanna feel the cuts.... oooohh and I gave in and then stopped my self.. but nooo its not enough :crying: :crying: :banghead: :banghead: :nervous:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Annaarr,

    how are you feeling today???Please feel free to chat here about how your feeling if it helps:)

    take care:wave:
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    Everything feels wrong. Inside me is empty, but i still feel crap, I mean seriously, WTF? Need to run into some walls and shit, might make me feel better. I miss my nan. Errmm excuse me life? yes you. fuck off. Errggghh.:banghead: :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Annaarr,

    Sound like a tough place to be in at the moment for you. when you say ,everything feels wrong, what does that mean for you?

    Its hard carrying on through life straight after a close death, were you and your nan close??

    It may help to chat about it, take care:)
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    Everything feels wrong.. well i guess i mean that i don't want to feel like this, and i know i shouldn't be. But i don't know what the hell i'm going to do about it. and i guess me and my nan were pretty close, but i dont know if her passing away is the reason i feel like this or if it's just me. My head is killing me :crying: and i want to cut :banghead: :mad: Arggh. emotions are sucky
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    hey Annaarr,

    It sounds like what your feeling is hard to identify and pinpoint but you do know it dosent feel right.there seems to be frustration with that too.

    How long have you been feeling like this?had you been feeling low before your nan passed away?

    kinda sounds like your being hard on yourself to feel or not feel something..if you know what i mean..Do you talk to anyone about how your feelings?Parents, teacher etc..

    Take care:)
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    It's been on and off like this for just over a year, but everytime it comes back it gets worse, and now it's seriously unbearable:banghead:

    I talked to one of my teachers today and she said she was gonna talk to the school nurse about what i should do. She keeps going on about how i should go onto anti-depressants... =/ i dunno :crying:
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    :crying: :crying: Well, fuck. just cut again. i feel like shit, and when i tried to talk to someone he shrugged it off and said dont worry about it. like i have a fucking choice? eugh. fml.:banghead: :crying:
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