Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

How long before it's classed as a relationship?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey :wave:

Just looking for a bit of advice really.

I've been seeing a lad since the beginning of December and we are currently on date number 7.
These dates/days out have consisted of a variety of different things from watching DVD's, to dinner with my family.

When he comes round he more than happy to lay on sofa with me, lounge around the house, holding hands, kissing etc even in front of family members.

We've had many conversations about things that I would consider "couply" such as him hoping I'm not one for keeping him under the thumb, to which I replied that I wasn't as long as he wasn't the controlling type. (A past relationship proper messed my head up with such behaviour) as well as things like sleeping arrangements for staying over each others houses and him telling me he's never met a girl like me before.

I'm just a little bit confused as to when a guy classes it as your going out? I mean we text each other every day, he rings me on his breaks, we see each other couple of times a week inbetween us both working and as far as I know he enjoys each time as much as me :)

I don't wanna push him and fly in there with the "So are we going out or what" question in case it all goes wrong and he see's it as me going too fast with him?

He has told his close circle of friends about me, as well as his parents, and i've done the same my end so its not like anything is behind closed doors.

My parents see our behaviour as one of a couple going out, however I would like something a bit more official like a simple question or text just so I know where I stand. Lol. Old fashioned or what?!

But any advice on what goes on in a guy's head in this kind of situation would be much appreciated. :)

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only advice I can offer is just to ask.

    Ive had the same problem before but thankfully I was always asked (once in a rather formal yet drunk marriage proposal type 'will you be my girlfriend' and the secnd, just a text saying, i guess we're going out now)

    Maybe he doesnt feel like he has to officially confirm it because as you say, everyone knows it and you dont try to hide it.

    Maybe what you could do is subtely work the word 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' into your conversation to refer to one of you and see how he reacts, or just simply ask him
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from what you've mentioned it really does seem like you are boyfriend and girlfriend. there isn't always a declaration of togetherness and it seems like your relationship is going well. i'd assume that you were boyfriend and girlfriend but if you have any doubts there is really no harm in asking him :) you could have a giggle about it afterwards.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that you are in a reletionship but for you own piece of mind why dont you ask him to go steady or what do you see happening between us.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let us know what happens :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok so we met up again today and after 3 hours of just chilling out, just before he had to go I knew if I was gonna say it then I just had to come out with it, so I did it in a "So are you officially mine now?" kind of way. (God knows what I chose that sentance for but hey ho!)

    He replied that he liked me. A lot. However, wasn't prepared to change as a person to anything that he wasn't. Eg- staying in all weekend, only spending time with me, and not living life as he does now.
    I explained that I didn't want that, because he wouldn't be the person I'd grown to like if he changed anything and after my last relationship I was all for going out with friends seperately and non-suffocating behaviour, as long as we spent time with each other as well, same as we have been doing for the last couple of weeks. He very happy with that so confirmed that yeah he is officially all mine now! :hyper: :yippe:

    So thankyou guys, I guess it just took a lil bit of courage to work out what goes on in a lad's head! :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yaaaaaaaaay!!! Sooo happy for you!

    I know how hard and nerve wracking it is to ask questions like that, but it sounds like you two and going good and strong and have the right balance of spending time together and seperately :) Well done and good luck with it
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou :)

    I'm just like :yippe: :yippe: at the moment like some kind of schoolgirl!

    But it's a nice feeling, fingers crossed for it staying this way :)
Sign In or Register to comment.