Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Is he wrong or am I right?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi guyes, could do with some advice here....

been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months now, we do not live together as yet but plan to one day. but yesterday i found him on a friend making site called Tagged.com. he has four women added as his friends and only yesterday added one of them the same age as him to his friends list. am i being too over the top in feeling uncomfortable with this? or do i let it go because it is only a friend making site? i have to say, all his 4 friends are women, two that live near him and none of them are men!

i know he has been waiting for me for a long time but due to other things going on in my life, i have not been able to be with him as much as we would both have liked. so then i think, well maybe he is entitled to have a bit of company as he lives alone, yet i can't help feeling extrememly uncomfy with this.......

any advice would be most welcomed guys

thanks

xx

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you feel uncomfortable with it then talk to him about it. There isnt any 'right' or 'wrong' in a relationship it all depends on the two of you and what you think is right or wrong. If it makes you uncomfortable then mention it; just dont go in all accusatory, making it out that he;s been cheating
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx lexi, i appreciate that....been on his site just now and he is at work and added another TWO women, one same age and lives VERY close by. the profiles these women have are that they are all single and obviously looking for men. i guess i am not enough for him and this is not the 1st time i have found him on sites and we have had it out and he has removed them.....guess i have to accept that i will never change him and make a final decision once and for all. i do not want to talk to him about it coz he will think i am a stalker and always watching him, which i am coz i can't trust him......i wish i did not love him................:no:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been there before and in the end my insecurities about him, always being paranoid and worried took over the fact that I loved him.

    I think you can either leave it how it is, wait until he actually does something that warrants you breaking up, or have it out with him, or pretend you never saw it and carry on as normal
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its seems a little shady in the way you have wrote it, but then again he should have the benefit of the dout!

    && seriously, what is a relationship without any trust?

    my advice:

    grow a ppair and discuss this face to face like adults.

    stop all this sneaking around cuz the fucked up one in this situation actually looks like you.


    soo be a strong women and stand up for what you think he's doing wrong. let hiim know you're not feeling that and ask him how would he feel if he was in your shoes!

    good luck a million!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx again lexi but i couldn't ignore it and pretend it's not happening, if i have it out with him he will think i'm a weird online stalker and he is adding these women to obviously chat and get to know them for sex. i know him too well lexi.....only a matter of time.....i was with him just yesterday and when i got home and went online, he was online adding these women....i am obv not his priority in life, he is his priority and i feel he is keeping his options open, yet he continually tells me he wants to marry me and have children with me....his ex didn't trust him and always accused him of sleeping around...maybe she had a point.....

    i have just txt him saying i dont think i will ever be enough for him but i love him and he has not got back to me. he probs thinks i am in a mood or something lol mind you, he was on that site when i sent him the text, probs too busy to get back to stupid me....

    note to self....WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!:banghead: :banghead:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup i know liveit88, i would be the weirdo in all this and he will come out smelling of roses yet he is the one doing all the covert shit and if it was so innocent, why does he not tell me about it?

    it is so over and i love him to bits but i can't carry on like this anymore, my head is done in and the last shard of trust i had for him has gone completely....

    now to start dealing with a broken heart...........lol
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tangolady, it's not like you've been snoping on his computer checking his internet history. If you were searching through private files on his computer without him knowing, then that's different. Here though, you have seen him doing it for real - you have caught him in the act. You definitely have the upper hand here. He won't come out smelling of roses :-)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx monserrat, that means a lot to me.....he is online again and is at his work, i can't even trust him when he is at his work!!! i don't think he has met anyone yet but WHY would he even want to be on this site chatting to single women????

    then he tells me what a mad busy day he has at work yet he can find the time to do all this shit? i am so gutted and feel sick.....can't stop crying:(:(

    i need to end it without him knowing what i know....and i shall be doing it by text!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does that site have a 'relationship' status, like on Facebook and MySpace? They usually do. Does his say anything other than in a relationship?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know what tagged.com is like but it sounds just like a social networking site.
    I wouldnt have thought it a big deal for him to have women friends on there.

    What makes you think there is more to it than that?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes tagged is a social networking site and he is even adding girls young enuff to be his daughter!! also, his relationship status says, "its complicated". i know him too well guys and know that given half a chance, he would go the whole way.

    no matter now, i have finished with him and he got nasty so i think i have made the right decision, hurts like mad tho but it's the right thing to do i guess....
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry to hear (or read) of this ending, but I think it is for the best. Let us know how things go. I have my fingers crossed that you don't have complicated housing commitments (e.g. you share a house).
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah sounds a bit dodgy now youve said the rest.
    I think you made the right decision
  • Options
    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    The title of this thread is funny.

    Just like "heads I win, tails you lose". :lol:
    Weekender Offender 
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just noticed what the title actually says hehe.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all your replies guys....i am missing him already and my heart is breaking but when i think of the nasty stuff he said to me when i ended it, well i know it was the right thing to do.....just hurts so damn much :(
Sign In or Register to comment.