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lost sex drive :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
the last three months or so i have completely lost the urge to have sex. Its doing my head in and making me feel awful for my partner. What could cause this?
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C-A xx
Hugs - I've been through this too and know how awful it can make you feel, unfortunately the more you beat yourself up about it the less you feel like actually having sex...it's a vicious circle. Lots of things can be the cause of it, are you stressed about anything at the moment? Work, family or relationship problems can all be triggers. How about your self-esteem? I often find if I'm feeling low in confidence about my body/image that makes me very reluctant to have sex. What's your relationship like in other areas? Do you have enough time for each other without conflicting demands? I think a large part of it is mindset - I've found in the past that the longer I go without having sex with my boyfriend, the more I worry about it and the less I feel like doing it because of this. I know it's easier said than done, but if you can set aside your worries and not dwell on how little you feel like doing it (I'm not saying force yourself to do something you really don't want to but at least try) you may find that once you've overcome it enough to have sex once that boosts your confidence and you will actually feel more like doing it again. Sorry if that's a really clumsy way of putting things, what I'm trying to say is often the longer you go without doing it the more you forget the good stuff about it and the less inclined you feel to do it at all.
Have you talked to your partner about it?
i'm only 28! he is being really understanding but it doesn't stop me feeling awful, i feel really bad about it.