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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
my ex boyfriend is an absolute arsehole, but then i guess it's my fault for getting with someone whilst they were in prison.

he basically used me for money while he was in there, said when he got out things would be great, my mum took me to see him every other week and bought him clothes, as well as offering him a place to live. i know i was a total idiot for believing him but i genuinely liked him and had done for ages. predictably once he was out he did nothing he said he would, hasn't sorted his life out and has gone back to taking shit loads of drugs, getting himself arrested and god knows what else.

he finished me a few days after he got out + blamed everything on me, shagged some lass the next day + has barely spoken to me since. we were good mates before he was in prison but now when i see him we don't even see eye to eye. and the most stupid thing about the whole situation is that i still like him + i really don't want to :(

considering i was near enough the only person there for him for 5 months i don't understand what goes on in his head..or what went on in my head in all fairness. i don't know many other people that would do what i did. none of his other 'mates' did. i guess i expected too much.

i know i seem like a complete pushover and should just forgot about him but it's something i'm finding really difficult and i feel i can't talk about it with anyone. mainly because everyone thinks i'm completely fine about it now.


any advice? :confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everybody has trouble getting over relationships. The only difference with yours is that he was such an asshole to you.

    There's no easy to way get over somebody. It will take time, maybe even months but you will get there. Every time you think about, remember all the things he did. Used you for money and made a load of empty promises.... slept with someone the day after he finished with you. He had it since and cosy inside while you waited and waited outside for him, wanting a relationship... that doesnt sound like a decent guy to me and you're better off forgetting him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Advice, yeah - when he enevitably comes crawling back to you looking for support cause he's messed up again, tell him to get stuffed! You're oviously a very caring person to be that caring while he was in prison so i dont doubt for a second that you can do a million times better than that arsehole
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks, i'll try and bear that in mind :)
    he got arrested again today, well handed himself in after i got an arrest warrant through the door last week..
    i was speaking to some of his friends today and they said there's no helping him. his best friend said that nobody cares about him anymore which i find quite sad but it's his fault i guess.. i still feel bad for him though.
    but then if he doesn't care then why should anyone else :/


    maybe i need to meet new people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    malibu259 wrote: »
    maybe i need to meet new people.

    Yup, you dont need to be involved with people like that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've done this before. Looked after someone and really thought I could make a difference to their life, only to be shat on once they've sorted themselves out. It's unfair and I completely agree with what icey said - you can do so much better.

    Show him you've moved on, don't let him see that he's affected you, and get yourself a nice man!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say the obvious lesson is don't be unconditionally kind to people, but that would be cynical. Unfortunately there are some nasty people in the world and one of them took advantage of you. Don't let this experience change you. Any feelings you still have for this guy will soon fade, and in time you'll meet someone who appreciates you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    suprisingly i'm undoubtedly the most cynical person i know so god knows why i chose to be kind to this one person that completely fucked me over. i've tried my best not to let this affect who i am and i don't think it has, it's just made me insecure and think twice about ever putting that much trust or putting myself on the line for someone again.

    thanks for your advice, i do appreciate it. it's also nice to know that i'm not alone :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sure ur feeling this way because your not understanding why he doesnt want you. i mean after all uve been there for him thru everything, what more could a guy in jail want. what the fuck is wrong, why doesnt he like you that way..

    i duno if thats how you feel, but i have felt a similar way b4. truth is you have to tell urself who cares. later in life he will remember you helped, and when no one else is there he will wish he was smarter with you. it will be his learning experience, but dont put urself down for being a genuine friend, and believing what he says. ur just honest and caring, and u do not ever want to change those things about urself for a lying loser.

    good luck
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