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feeling suicidal please help
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey
I thought today was going ok but i guess it was too good to be true and now i am feeling really suicidal, i have no mental or physical energy left, i cant do anything anymore i feel really depressed and i cant ring my friend cos i know she will be disappointed in me and i dont think i can face anyone.
I thought today was going ok but i guess it was too good to be true and now i am feeling really suicidal, i have no mental or physical energy left, i cant do anything anymore i feel really depressed and i cant ring my friend cos i know she will be disappointed in me and i dont think i can face anyone.
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Comments
Any idea why you feel this way?
Sounds like it's been a really tough day for you. What have you been practicing?
As, by the sounds of it, the day has been draining, it might help to try and get some sleep now and then start afresh tomorrow and see how you feel about talking to your friend then? When we're tired everything can feel difficult and it can be hard to see things clearly. You say you're afraid your friend will be disappointed in you, have they given you reason to think this might be the case?
Having said that, sometimes the people closest to us are the hardest to talk to about the things that are really getting us down. It's great that you feel able to post about it on here, but you might also find it helps to talk to someone in confidence in a fact-to-face situation - have you thought about counselling at all?
i cant sleep i am too stressed out everything is just going round my head and just dont think i have what it takes to get through another day.
Maybe you should give the French Horn a break for a while, clear your mind and give yourself some TLC. Then, when you feel up to it, you can go back.
The Convincer is absolutely right :yes:
If you feel you've not got what it takes to get through another day - please keep posting here - we can support you. If you are feeling stressed out and can't sleep why don't you try listening some relaxing music, take a bath or read a book?
Take care
but if i play anything wrong then i just feel like i am rubbish.
i am going to the doctors, well i am supposed to be but have been to terrified to even make an appointment, so my friend is going to come with me, but i just cant be bothered anymore with anything i just feel useless.
Go to the doctors and tell him/her what you've told us. You may be instructed to take a break, whether it's practical or not.
Sometimes with creativity you can hit a wall - if you are tired and nothing can be gained from making yourself feel 'useless' then perhaps you could leave it for tonight, get some rest and then just do a bit extra tomorrow?
That's great about you going to the Doctor's with your friend supporting you. :yes:
but i just cant take another day of going through the mental hell again, i just feel really low and feel useless, i feel i am getting worse cos i am now having these panic attacks which i have started having in the last month. i just dont think i can keep going anymore.
You shouldn't have been dealing with this without help for four years, if not.
It seems you need to find the right doctor or councillor. They can't all be rubbish.
I'd get one recommended by your GP, if you like your GP, that is.
i am feeling really tense at the moment and really scared of what i am going to do, i am trying not to think about it just listening to some music and stuff but i find it really hard to concentrate on stuff, even tv shows and films that i used to really like i have not been able to watched them without my mind wondering and getting bored, in the last few months.
Must go to sleep in a bit.
As people have suggested, going to the GP seems sensible. Maybe you'd benefit from trying something like the Alexander Technique? I've not tried it myself, but I've met a few musicians who have found it useful. I'm not that knowledgeable on it, but it does give you methods to use to try to focus on the end result and helps with anxiety and breathing. It's good that you value performing and if it's helped you get through some tough times in the past, it may be worth finding some new ways to approach it when you're having bad days.
Take care and let us know how things are going