Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

relationship advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Relationship advice in a relationship advice discussion board? No way!

I'm crap at advice and knowing what people may or may not be thinking so maybe I can steal some from you guys ;)

So my lady friend met a dude. They hit it off nicely and have been "Seeing eachother" for nearly 5 months. However, they are not exclusive. She is ok with that... she says... but sometimes I wonder...

He told her a couple weeks ago, that he "needed to be honest" with her and told her he was still seeing other girls but was definatly spending the most time with her. She already knew he was seeing other people and didn't have a problem with that.

I took the "spending most time with her" as a positive and that maybe he wanted something more... but I was the only person that thought that :p

Now she says the other day he called her up for a booty call (she doesn't do that) and he didn't even text her happy valentines or anything and she says it makes her think of how little he probably thinks of her. And that when they are together it is all lovey dovey and nice but when they are apart it is nothing.

So, advice I can give to her, lol? At first I thought things were looking good but now I'm thinking not? I feel so bad I have nothing to ever say to her, it probably seems like I dont give a crap sometimes and I dont want her to think that!

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a toughie! Can see your logic when you told you're friend him coming clean about seeing other women could be a positive. I guess it boils down to what your friend wants from him. It may be he does like her but is a bit shy about committing and was trying to suss out what she thinks by telling her about the other women. Has she actually been blunt and asked him what he's after? :chin:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think so. She is afraid of asking him things like that might seem all psycho and posessive or something. I don't think that seems psycho, do you?

    Until this last time she said she was ok with how things were, but before she met him, I know she was looking for a real full on relationship. She was sick of all the flings and looking to settle down. I'm starting to think this thing is like halfway between the two so so she thinks she is ok with it or something :p

    Oh maybe I should say that...

    And thank you
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm...I'm in a similar position to your friend at the moment. Been seeing a guy casually since November, he's good at turning on the charm, I don't buy into it in any major way, but it's still fun every now and again. I'd say if he's quite lovey dovey when they're together it may be appropriate for her to casually make some comments to try to find out if he's serious about her. That's what I'm probably gonna do if the opportunity arises, though I reckon it'll most likely fizzle out before that happens!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is american dating really like it is on sex and the city?

    He certainly doesn't seem to be putting much effort in, and still seeing other girls... the impression I get is that if he liked her that much he would be 'exclusive' with her by now. I personally wouldn't be wasting time with him. If she really likes him I think it's about time to say 'it's either just me or no me'.
    But I think it works differently in america so I dunno what the usual time-frame for this kind of thing is.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lu_C wrote: »
    Is american dating really like it is on sex and the city?

    He certainly doesn't seem to be putting much effort in, and still seeing other girls... the impression I get is that if he liked her that much he would be 'exclusive' with her by now. I personally wouldn't be wasting time with him. If she really likes him I think it's about time to say 'it's either just me or no me'.
    But I think it works differently in america so I dunno what the usual time-frame for this kind of thing is.

    I don't know, I have better taste in tv and have never seen that :p What do they do there? Though they are what, like 70? We are younguns so the dating scene may be different then too :p

    I think you guys are right, just tell her to suck it up and ask the me or no me. :thumb:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simba T Lion wrote: »
    I don't know, I have better taste in tv and have never seen that :p What do they do there?

    HAHA!

    It's just all the seeing several people at a time and having month long relationships without it being exclusive.
    It all sounds very confusing.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She should do what makes her happy, But seems like the guy just loves to date around, and if he knows that she's okay with it, he will just keep on doing it. If your friend wants more from him she should let him know, and see if she's really worth it to him.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I may be old fashioned, but I think if he really really liked her, he wouldn't be seeing other women. She should jack him in. But then I know you Americans are a little strange with your dating etiquette.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lu_C wrote: »
    HAHA!

    It's just all the seeing several people at a time and having month long relationships without it being exclusive.
    It all sounds very confusing.

    Yeah... that's pretty much how it goes. At least that is what I have been experiencing lately. It can be interesting.
Sign In or Register to comment.