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My relationship's slipping away from me, help:(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Been with my girlfriend for about 14 months, i am so in love i cant tell you, i would do anything for this woman. were both 20 and at uni and until the summer we were both madly in love. While she was away she was distant and uncommunicative. After coming back she sat me down and told me shes not sre if she loves me. Apparently she didnt miss me very often and even though she fancies the pants of me and cares about me alot and we gotamazingly she says she doesnt feel a certain feeling that she did for an ex like a buzz in her chest. Ill be honest im desperate, im a nice guy i love her to bits and id do anything! a i fighting a losing battle? should i give up? anyone been in a similar situation? she says she doesnt want to brek up because she loves being with me and i make her very happy shes just not sure theres a future:(

help!!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If ur both madly in love then keep it up maybe she will change her mind
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think a wise person once said, If you love something let it go.... Uni is always going to be a time of new experiences, new feelings and sometimes cutting old ties. Being in a long distance relationship is always going to be hard and especially when you have so much stimulation around you at all times at university.

    If you truly, truly love her... wouldn't you want her to be happy. Feel pleased that she has told you how she feels rather than acting like nothing has happened and her cheating on you or something like that.

    You never know, she might realise her mistake and come back. Maybe not, but I think that's a chance you might have to take.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure she's unsure if there's a future of not as no one knows where relationships will end up. Most likely there isn't a long term future, sorry mate but lets face it, you are both 20 and gone are the days where young lovers meet, marry and stay together.

    Imo I'd suggest cutting back on being Mr Nice guy with her, the desperation vibe you're sending her will only hinder any chance you may have of patching things up, but ask yourself do you really want to be with her if she's so uncertain on you? and really that 'buzz in the chest' shit is just her shitty way of letting you know your on thin ice and break up is on the cards.

    Yeah I bet she doesn't want a break up just yet because she hasn't got a new bloke to go out with, they normally line em up before they jump ship. Cos it's sooo scary being single and alone :rolleyes: Sorry I have really bad views. :o

    Anyway please for the love of beer, drugs and rock'n'roll don't let her use you until she finds some one else, who she thinks will give her that imaginary 'buzz in her chest' feeling - I half reckon she only being this way because you've become too predictable for her, so rather than say that, she'll dump you and find someone new, who'll be exciting and new to work out. It's a fuckin games mate with some of these girls. Fuckin head cases :banghead: ....Sorry gone off topic again.

    So try being harder/mean with her, not being so nice might make her rekindle her love for you.....which i think, would mean that, it's not love that she has for you in the first place....just some messed up girly idea of how a bloke should treat a girl. Anyway, off topic once again, sorrrrry! :razz:

    Prepare for worse in meantime, should things end then yeah, it WILL hurt like hell. But just don't let her use you like a mug going forward, else you'll only look back on the relationship with disdain. She may change and no longer be the girl you love, should the relationship be over, you gotta you look at her in a new, sadder light. Not with those loving eyes, otherwise you'll just let her walk all over you.

    At least right now she being honest with you about not knowing what she wants, that's really good of her but in my view she does owe you the truth, however hard it may be for you to swallow. If you're both at the same Uni things could become very difficult if you break up, I wouldn't try and go down the 'friends' road...least not right off the bat, because it'll just mess up your head.

    Alright I'll shup up now - I don't mean to be lord gloom, just giving you a heads up on what might happen. Good luck and hope things work out. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grahaminneed wrote: »
    If ur both madly in love then keep it up maybe she will change her mind

    She did supposedly say she wasnt sure if she was in love with him.

    My advice would pretty much be along the lines of Harmless.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi,

    happy new year.

    Are you saying that the honeymoon period has worn off? Has she met someone else? Ask her? Ask her how she truly feels towards you and least she is telling you that she is not sure? What is she not sure of?

    Good luck
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