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Is there something 'wrong' with me?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I can't really explain what they are or what causes them but every now and then I have quite explosive 'breakdowns'. I don't know if they actually are breakdowns but I can't think how else to describe them. I don't even really know what happens when I have them, it's like I regress to some sort of primal state and I lose my memory of what I'm doing. I had one of these on Sat night/Sun morning and it really wasn't pretty. I know things from what I do remember and what my friends have told me. I've no idea what the hell triggered it but after hitting my other half several times I ended up on the floor of the uni car park for at least 5 minutes screaming my head off. Apparently I would have weird unconnected moments of complete clarity and rationality every 30-40 seconds. I was taken home. I thought I was ok, we all did. I should've learnt by now that one of these little episodes is actually a couple of episodes joined together. I wound up trying to smash a wine bottle to stab my OH, ran down the corridor to ask my flatmates to help me. They just had a go at me so I ran out of the building and ended up curling up on the pavement by a main in just my PJs. I'm fairly certain that if a group of clubbers hadn't been returning at that point and kindly escorted me back I probably wouldn't be sitting here posting this now.

I'm no expert in such matters but I don't really think this is in anyway normal...some strangers who were helping my friends in the car park gave my OH the number for a hospital in the city but he forgot to give it to me and I'm at complete loss as to what to do/who to turn to etc.

Sorry this is long and confused, but does anybody have any ideas?

x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you seen a GP about this? Might be the easiest way to get a refferal, especially if your OH or a friend can go and back up what happens to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to the med centre today mainly to get an appointment because I'm still bleeding from somewhere I ought not to be :( and they said I could see a duty doctor today, make an appointment for next week or try my luck phoning up at 8.30 when they open in the morning. I'm trying my luck phoning them, a week is an awfully long time and I'd rather see a GP who's seen me before rather than a duty doctor.

    But yeah, cheers for that. I know a friend of mine would come with me if I asked but I don't know how practical it would be for people to come with me...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You seriously need to get yourself to the doctor. Your behaviour is totally abnormal sorry but it is). People simply do not act that way and it may point towards a disorder that you need serious help with. Was it effected by alcohol, could be some sort of major allergic reaction?? If you were not drinking then this is even worse as you are obviously out of control and need to make sure you are safe by SEEING THE DOCTOR!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was drinking this time, but when I had one of these moments in August I was stone sober. In fact, I was on my way to work at the time. Don't worry, I'm booked in to see the doctor next week. I managed to get an appointment this morning about my bleeding and I've got to go back about that next week, so thought I'd kill two birds and now have a treble appointment.

    I'm so tempted to go on a defensive rant but I know it's silly. Most of the time I'm perfectly safe, I'm generally described as docile and gentle, it just seems to be these odd moments or whatever else we want to call them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like panic attacks to me

    medication, such as benzodiazepines, can help with this

    i would definitely advise you to see your GP
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally these symptoms sound like a form of epilipsy. I cant remember the name of the type im talking about but it results in said epileptic person losing control of themself and doing strange things. (Once read about someone who tried to rob a shop in a fit) .

    It might be worth having a read up on it. Hope you find out whats wrong and get better soon!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe anger problems?

    hope you get on all right at the GP
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I saw her and at first she thought it was panic attacks but apparently it didn't all fit together. I've self-referred to the counselling service and I've got my first little chat with them on Friday as they want to make sure it is the right thing for me.

    The doctor also gave me a leaflet on anger and said to come back next week, so we will see what she says then. She couldn't give me a proper diagnosis as my appointment had originally been about my random bleeding and I thought I'd bring up what happened seeing as she is my doctor.

    She doesn't think it's depression, but if I'm honest, I know I have a habit of understating things when people ask me things about my emotions and mental health.

    Thanks all, I will let you know if anybody works out what's going on!

    x
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