If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
I feel empty
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hello,
like my name says I'm just another man who wants the simple things. So I thought. but as I by myself sometimes, I realise I want nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing.
Now I'm only sixteen and I know that when I finish school I'll get a good job and probably a good life if everything goes well. But I don't want that, I don't want to do anything at all. All i want to do is to die, well not to die, but just not to live anymore. It feels like I'm finished, before I even got a chance to begin.
Now i dont want real advice on anything, i just want to know why i feel this way, and how i can focus my thoughts on living, instead of wondering why i live. 'cause that question has been in my head for months, maybe even years. And it starts to really tear me down.
but i'm not depressed or suicidal if all of the above makes you think that way. It's just that i don't see the point to all. i mean why shouldn't i just sit in the park on a bench and wait for it all being over? thats a qeustion i really really need an answer to.
like my name says I'm just another man who wants the simple things. So I thought. but as I by myself sometimes, I realise I want nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing.
Now I'm only sixteen and I know that when I finish school I'll get a good job and probably a good life if everything goes well. But I don't want that, I don't want to do anything at all. All i want to do is to die, well not to die, but just not to live anymore. It feels like I'm finished, before I even got a chance to begin.
Now i dont want real advice on anything, i just want to know why i feel this way, and how i can focus my thoughts on living, instead of wondering why i live. 'cause that question has been in my head for months, maybe even years. And it starts to really tear me down.
but i'm not depressed or suicidal if all of the above makes you think that way. It's just that i don't see the point to all. i mean why shouldn't i just sit in the park on a bench and wait for it all being over? thats a qeustion i really really need an answer to.
0
Comments
What you said reminds me a lot of how I felt a few years back. I didn't want to become or do anything and it worried me a lot that I was unable to be passionate about things.
You might want to consider bringing this up to your GP, or if you have a good friend who would be willing to let you talk about how you feel. Perhaps even your parents?
Are you doing something you would consider a hobby or interest? Any sports or something?
You could also try spending some time to think about what you might be interested in doing in the future. Be it in regards of uni to go to, traveling, work, getting a dog or whatnot. If you identify some things that you could aim for, it could help change the way you feel.
i do understand how you feel, i felt similar about 5 years ago, and it was the start of depression but it was also the start of my creative career. Take up a hobbie that you do feel passionate about, no matter what it is, and maybe think about seeing it from a different perspective...
its not empty, its a blank page, upon a blank page great things can be written
Maybe you're stuck in a rut. I'm sure once you find something you enjoy those feeling you're having will pass.
You're only 16 and this is only a temporary thing.
But do find someone to talk to about it. People here are good to talk to, but it is important that you find a person that you can talk to face to face, because they are more likely to have more insights into your life and be able to give more advice.
it sounds as if you need some kind of validation that there is a reason for being...and trust me i know that feeling even if i don't fully understand how you feel.
but really go seek outside help, whether it be from a GP or someone else, it sounds like you feel very isolated because you can't see someone else feeling like you do, and talking to someone on a one to one basis might help.
I kind of know how you feel - when i was about 14/15 i can't quite explain it it wasn't depression just a normal teenage feeling i guess. I kind of felt that i didn't fit in and no one really understood me and i wasn't sure why i was here or what i was doing. I was quite into "alternative" music and the whole scene but i didn't really know anyone else who was and when i met people who were i felt a bit like they were just no quite in the same place of life as me - like they had experienced it all before and i was on the outside looking in. I used to spend quite a lot of time wondering about what it would be like to take an overdose and weather anyone would notice,
Anyway i had a very random chance meeting I met a boy who was just at the same stage in life as me and both of our lives changes forever - finally i'd met someone who hadn't done it all before and who i could begin to explore life with. I can't quite explain it - because it wasn't a romantic relationship and it wasn't like we were exclusively best friends for ever but for ages it felt like i'd been waiting for life to begin and now it had and its mostly been amazing.
I think your feelings are entirely normal and something a lot of people feel especially between the ages of 13 to 17 and one day you will find your place in the world and honestly there is so much amazing stuff out there for you to discover it would be pointless to give up now....
and about seeking help, i have talked to my parents and a good friend. but they all just said: what kind of stupid question is that (literally!). And the one time i found a person who actually felt the same way (i was 15, he was 28) he turned out te be a schizofrenic, and is now a born again chritian. And i dont want to end up like that.
I've also added your paragraph and not feeling depressed or suicidal into the first post
well it might be a good idea volunteering. but volunteering in the UK will be quite hard, i'd have to take a 7 hour boat trip everyday just to get there (these kind of reactions are the reason why no-one takes me seriously back home anyway)
http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/volunteering/virtualvolunteering/browse
I am sure if you give me about 10 mins i can find something similar in the Netherlands.
I know what you mean about the having to decide now job thing - but unless you choose something really specific like bricklaying or maybe something very technical and scientific you can pretty much do what ever you want when you get out there in the real world. So you either have to choose the subjects you are good at or choose something your interested in.
well yeah but, like I said at start: I want nothing, there's no job that I'd like to do, I mean I'm interested in a lot but just never enough to make a job out of it. Now I dont want to sound negative, though I obviously do. but that's the way I feel, because its seems logical to me. it seems logical because I assume that nothing really matters, since I can't find a reason why it should. And I'm a person who needs a reason to do something. I really wish I didn't though...
It doesn't mean you are 'mentally unwell' or anything - but it does help to have a non-partisan 3rd party ask the RIGHT sort of questions to get some order out of the confusion that seems to be pervading your mind.
What you are feeling probably happens to most of us at some stage - but it seems that you may have felt like this for some time. Its worth further discussion for your own peace of mind.
Good luck! :thumb:
I really hoped it wouldn't come to this...Not that it's a big deal or anything, but i hoped to work it out on my own..