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help i am so lost

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We are constantly arguing and fighting leaving me phsyical and mentaly drained. It steams from me cheating on him about 2 years ago at the very beginning of the realationship we were just fxxx buddies before we became a couple and we never actully sat down and said we are together. I told him what I had done and we had a huge argument but he told me that he forgave me and we carried on. But for two years now it has gone down hill. we love each other so much but the arguements have got to close. I am really confused i want to be with him so much but i cant see us going far together. what should i do. :banghead:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Aliboo,

    Firstly, welcome to the boards! :)

    I can understand when you're arguing a lot it gets very draining very quickly. Sadly no-one can 'tell you what to do', but we can listen and help you come to a decision by yourself.

    It might be an idea to read this article here http://www.thesite.org.uk/sexandrelationships/couples/lifeasacouple/communicatingasacouple as it gives some advice about communicating as a couple. It can be difficult if you're not talking to each other, but arguing to see how you feel about each other.

    Perhaps make some time at some point in the week where you're not likely to be disturbed by work / family etc and turn off all distractions (tv, music, computer etc) and try to really talk and see if that helps, at the very least spending some proper time together will give you a chance to see how you feel.

    If that isn't possible or is difficult to manage, then perhaps some time apart might help you work out your feelings. Perhaps stay overnight with a friend or family member so that you can take some distance and see how you feel.

    Either way its going to take some thinking time to find out what you want and then try to go for it. Sometimes arguments can be solved and you can move forward in the relationship. Your relationship has survived past challenges that others may have split up over so it might not be then end but at the same time sometimes things end and its for the best, though you might not see it like that at the time.

    Welcome to the boards, please keep posting and tell us how you're getting on!

    Lisa
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps you can suggest counselling to him. Does your boyfriend argue because he has trust issues?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Common sense says to break up with him, and i think you know this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't quite understand what you've said - you were fuck buddies that kinda drifted into a relationship, but without a "now we're an exclusive couple" moment - you told him you'd had sex with someone else, and he said he forgave you, but you think he hasn't
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