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Being Friends with Ex'es

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Haven't posted on here in a while ! Anyhoo ..

Just generally wondering, is it possible to be friends with an ex who you really loved?

Are any of you friends with your Ex'es and how is that relationship?

I'm only friends with one of my ex'es and that was my first serious boyfriend. I don't find it difficult at all because I was really fond of him but never felt the way he did I think. Like when I see him with his girlfriend it doesn't hurt or anything I'm just happy for him.

But when it comes to this other lad I used to go out with, I really did love him but now I'm actually over him (took me long enough) I can be around him or see him and not feel anything. We can talk and still get on but what really annoys me is he'll try and create a bit of a situation or say something like, 'this is weird isn't it?' when it's not. It's like he can't accept that I don't love him any more and I am just being friendly, nothing else. I would genuinely like to be friends with him but I'm not sure it could ever work because he's just such a big head.

I know I shouldn't care if he still thinks I like him or not but it does bug me and I want to say/ do something to drive the point across abit but it's difficult ... Any suggestions?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hm my ex has been sort of speaking to me (brief emails) but largely ignoring me. I know he's been keeping an eye on me though - he has a myspace account that he doesnt use, he logged onto that the other day when he hasnt used it since he made it. I'm the only person on his friends list and my profile is private so im assuming he checked my profile (theres a link to it on my facebook and he still has me on that too). He could have easily deleted me off both but he hasn't. He still has my brothers mobile number too. It's all a bit weird. Sorry not much advice just wanted to share my experience. I don't know if he's doing it because he still cares/is curious or if it's to keep me there incase he decided to come crawling back (again) as a sort of back up plan.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends. I am really good friends with one ex, who moved on after we broke up and has done stuff with his life. However my other ex still has hang ups and, although we get on, it is never really comfortable a year after breaking up :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only ex I really stayed friends with, was my first love. She was my first real girlfriend, my first shag e.t.c, we got together when we were 14 and were together for 2 years.
    It was me who ended it with her, I fell out of love and broke her heart apparantly. Anyway, we stayed friends for years....then we slowly stopped seeing so much of eachother but I was always glad to bump into her for a chat around town every now and then. Nearly got with her at a party a couple of couple of years back actually. :blush:
    Anyway, I haven't actually spoken to her for about a year now, but that's mainly due to growing apart friendship group wise.

    My other ex's I'm not in contact with at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not friends with any of my exes.

    I'm in contact with a couple of them, and we text now and again to say hi, and I guess I'll always care a little bit and wish them well, but I don't think we can ever be friends. It's just dynamics, in't it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not friends with any of them. Well, I was friends with one of them for a bit but we've kinda drifted apart again now, and I was only with him for like a couple of weeks anyway. One of my other exes thinks we're friends still but he gets right on my nerves so whenever he tries to talk to me I just ignore him :o.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Olive wrote: »
    I'm not friends with any of my exes.

    I'm not either. It ended fairly badly with them, so neither of us wanted that friendship. There's only a certain amount you can be screwed over and still want to talk to someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't got any proper exes really...but my boyfriend is still friends with the ex he had just before he got together with me. She text him on his birthday the other day and they see each other now and again out in town and always have a chat. It's not a proper "friendship" though I guess as they've both moved in quite different directions...when their paths cross they're friendly to each other but don't make specific plans to meet and catch up or anything like that. I think it depends on how things are left really. He was quite gutted when they split, but it had been coming for a while and I think he was relieved not to have to initiate the break-up himself really. There were no arguments, no-one had cheated or anything like that so there was no animosity...hence they've managed to stay on civil terms. His first long-term girlfriend broke his heart and it was such an intense break-up there was no way they could have stayed friends. I think he still has her number, but they never speak. I think he'd find it too weird/difficult, even after all this time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am only still closeish friends with one ex I went out with for two weeks when I was 15 - it was very much not ment to be and we laugh about it a lot. There are are couple of others who i keep in touch with occasionally but am not at all in any way close to.

    I am not friends with anyone who i went out with for a significant amount of time and i dont' really want to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess I couldn't...
    I have troubles leaving a friendship with almost any girl on friendship basis as it is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    I know he's been keeping an eye on me though - he has a myspace account that he doesnt use, he logged onto that the other day when he hasnt used it since he made it. I'm the only person on his friends list and my profile is private so im assuming he checked my profile (theres a link to it on my facebook and he still has me on that too). He could have easily deleted me off both but he hasn't. He still has my brothers mobile number too. It's all a bit weird. Sorry not much advice just wanted to share my experience. I don't know if he's doing it because he still cares/is curious or if it's to keep me there incase he decided to come crawling back (again) as a sort of back up plan.
    I don't get this, you have him on your facebook still as well presumably and haven't deleted him so does that mean your keeping an eye on him also???

    Anyway to the question, I'm friends with most of my exe's, some it takes longer than others but seem to get there in the end! I have a lot of lass mates and like having lass mates but seem to end up shagging most of em but still stay friends!
    The few long term GF's I've had I'm still friends with! My first proper girl / first love etc. it took years but now we see each other out, I actually went back to her and her boys house this weekend to party after the pub and everythings cool now!
    I'm also just getting back matey with my ex best mate who I got involved with stupidly probably bout 2 years ago and hoping we can get back to being good friends again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't get this, you have him on your facebook still as well presumably and haven't deleted him so does that mean your keeping an eye on him also???
    He owes me £300 so until he gives me that back I am yes, he keeps ignoring my emails so I want as many ways to contact him as possible to keep hounding him until I get it back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    He owes me £300 so until he gives me that back I am yes, he keeps ignoring my emails so I want as many ways to contact him as possible to keep hounding him until I get it back.
    Just not sure why its so weird that your still on his facebook! Got plenty of exes on mine n vice versa! Nothing weird about it!
    I think your living in hope that he is checking up on you cos you want him to care and you want him to "crawl back (again)" but anyway!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just not sure why its so weird that your still on his facebook! Got plenty of exes on mine n vice versa! Nothing weird about it!
    I think your living in hope that he is checking up on you cos you want him to care and you want him to "crawl back (again)" but anyway!

    Well facebook is for staying in contact, so unless he intends to (and it doesn't look like it) then I don't see why he would keep me on it. I'm deleting him once I get my money back anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I split up wih someone, I dont tend to want any contact with them. My only proper ex thought we could still be friends, even after the way he treated me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm friends with all of my ex-girlfriends, and it's never caused any problems. Even with one, when we broke up on extremely bad terms, we are now good friends. I see few valid reasons why people shouldn't be friends with people they used to be in a relationship with.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I'm friends with all of my ex-girlfriends, and it's never caused any problems. Even with one, when we broke up on extremely bad terms, we are now good friends. I see few valid reasons why people shouldn't be friends with people they used to be in a relationship with.
    Because they were complete cockwads?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't think of any exs I'm friends with, am friends with old f-buddies though, but not anyone wher eI was or thought I could be emotionally involved. Broke up for a reason, as Franki says, they were cockwads!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Because they were complete cockwads?

    :lol: Thats one very good reason for never speaking to certain people ever agin.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You live and learn, maintaining relationships with ex's can be a shaky deal depending on the type of relationship you 2 shared.
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