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so, i'm starting to get my head sussed out..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...relationship wise anyway...
i really had a good think about my previous relationship, and i suddenly thought, hang on, that had all the warning signs of it becoming not just more of an abusive relationship, but teetering towards domestic violence...
I seriously don't want to make the same mistakes that my mother made, and i'm glad to be out of it. But even just seeing him prevokes a horrible responce in me, and he harrasses me too, so i' very close to just telling him i don't want his the money he owe me back and that if he gets on my case any more then i'll slap a restraining order on him. I'm not sure £140 is worth all this hassle.
but moving on, i keep finding these really lovely guys, but they are either just breaking/broken up with someone, and/or much older than me (10 years older). I've really been thinking about what i want out of a relationship, and also what i have to give to another person (personal qualities and such rather than material possessions like last time), and i really want a companion, someone to get close to and share things with rather than anything else. I don't want to think in term of mr/miss right/now maybe more like mr/miss this seems to work well for us, lets see how it goes. I'm not actively looking and these guys seem to find me, which i suppose is a good thing, even though they seem to be unavailable, though there is a HUGE lack of women, i suppose its hard to assume that someone maybe gay/bi and jsut walk up to them and chat them up, purely due to the fact that a) women tend to take subtler aproches and b) i guess you could get very embarressed if you get it wrong.
but still, i would like someone, but i suppose a positive thing, is that i'm not feeling like i need someone in my life, because that seems to attract freaks!
anyway, i live with a smile on the inside, sometimes, if not the outside.
i really had a good think about my previous relationship, and i suddenly thought, hang on, that had all the warning signs of it becoming not just more of an abusive relationship, but teetering towards domestic violence...
I seriously don't want to make the same mistakes that my mother made, and i'm glad to be out of it. But even just seeing him prevokes a horrible responce in me, and he harrasses me too, so i' very close to just telling him i don't want his the money he owe me back and that if he gets on my case any more then i'll slap a restraining order on him. I'm not sure £140 is worth all this hassle.
but moving on, i keep finding these really lovely guys, but they are either just breaking/broken up with someone, and/or much older than me (10 years older). I've really been thinking about what i want out of a relationship, and also what i have to give to another person (personal qualities and such rather than material possessions like last time), and i really want a companion, someone to get close to and share things with rather than anything else. I don't want to think in term of mr/miss right/now maybe more like mr/miss this seems to work well for us, lets see how it goes. I'm not actively looking and these guys seem to find me, which i suppose is a good thing, even though they seem to be unavailable, though there is a HUGE lack of women, i suppose its hard to assume that someone maybe gay/bi and jsut walk up to them and chat them up, purely due to the fact that a) women tend to take subtler aproches and b) i guess you could get very embarressed if you get it wrong.
but still, i would like someone, but i suppose a positive thing, is that i'm not feeling like i need someone in my life, because that seems to attract freaks!
anyway, i live with a smile on the inside, sometimes, if not the outside.
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Comments
I'd tell your ex to leave you alone and threaten the restraining order if I were you, as long as you have the grounds for it and you aren't desperate for money.
personally I don't think age is too much of an issue. I go for guys 10-20 years older than me (I know, it's bad isn't it!) but it's not something I can help and I relate to people older than me a hell of a lot better. If you and they have no problem with the age gap then I say there shouldn't be a problem
Be careful with guys who are breaking/just broken up, as the last thing you want to be is a rebound for them.
so....i still need to get some confidence back and i could really do with a good boost....but i'm going out this weekend with mates so maybe that will help...