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Sex Fear!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, i'm 20 years old and still a virgin. i've been going out with a girl for a few weeks and we talk a lot about sex and it never was a problem or an issue. recently we were doing some silly sexuality test and she told me, among other irrelevant things, that she had had sex more than 2 times in a night.
although i'm pretty concious that that's very normal, i started obsessing about her being more experienced than I, and now i'm really scared of having sex with her and i'm becoming very anxious about it and i'm afraid it will ruin our relationship.
i also can't help thinking about her and her last boyfriend together and although i know this is ridiculous, i can't help but feel unconfortable about those thoughts.
although i'm pretty concious that that's very normal, i started obsessing about her being more experienced than I, and now i'm really scared of having sex with her and i'm becoming very anxious about it and i'm afraid it will ruin our relationship.
i also can't help thinking about her and her last boyfriend together and although i know this is ridiculous, i can't help but feel unconfortable about those thoughts.
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Comments
Don't let it get in the way of what sounds to be quite a promising relationship.
Don't be anxious about loosing your virginity to her. I'm sure she remembers her first time and (talking very generalised now) it probably won't have been too pleasant for her. If she's a nice lass I'm sure shes going to want to make you feel at ease and make your first time the best it can be. Go along with this and remember that she loves you already; minus the sex. She may be experienced and . . .? Thats all. She's experienced. So what? She loves you as a person and the sex will be just fine and fun and a healthy part of your relationship before you know it. The more you stress the more pressure you feel and it's just going to make it suck. Try to relax.
There isn't really much to say. You're feeling a bit anxious - that's normal - it's fine. She probably knows your anxious and she probably knows what your thinking.
Just go with the flow mate and you'll be fine.
If animals can manage it, I'm sure you can. Don't worry and do what comes naturally.
hahaha!!!
well i think you should just talk to her and get watching some porn for moves if that helps??
it doesn't matter if shes had sex more times then you its not a competition!!
dont stress over it..
Dont worry
Generally speaking, porn rarely gives a realistic view of sex, you might find this article about real life sex interesting on that subject. I agree talking definitely helps and Ashley has also given lots of sound advice, as have all of you for that matter!
You may also find this article on sex with a new partner helpful.
Take care and enjoy.
I disagree, a lot of amateur porn would be good educational material.
Personally I think the best thing to do is to communicate, if something feels good tell her and ask her to do the same or maybe guide you a little I dont think many men would object to someone moving their hands or giving a bit of verbal encouragement, not in the barking orders type of way but maybe guide your hands and tell you she would like certain things harder, softer, faster or slower.
Don't worry if things are a little less glossy than the films, its like that in real life, I would rather have sex with someone who didn't take it too seriously and treated it as fun and could laugh at the funny stuff like the occasional noise.
I did say 'generally speaking' but I'm inclined to agree with twinklestar.
Educational material for what exactly? :eek2:
Scaring the shit out of schoolkids and making them too terrified to ever have sex?
Hey, let's get into into secondary school now...
:shocking:
Chill :cool:
Educational material for doing the business
Yo this guy's 20, not 8.
yeah...
good Luck!