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Feeling unloved at home

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, I'm thinking of moving out.

Basically, I'm 19 and living at home with my parents & family. There are 5 kids and I'm the oldest. I've got a full time job and pay rent, but I feel more like someone who rents a room than a part of the family.

I have this pet peeve that I HATE mess. I come home from work and end up making my 3 brothers their tea, cleaning the house, washing, ironing etc and I get shouted at for doing it. "Are you saying my house is dirty?!"

Frankly, it is....but I clean up because I know my mum doesn't have time and the others are lazy. It's become almost a running joke for my dad to say "Just leave your stuff on the side and Simone can wash it before she goes to work in the morning" and honestly, I'm sick of being a skivvy.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I LOVE spending time at his house, I get along great with his mum because she treats me like the daughter she never had and says I'm always welcome there.

So to cut a long story short, I'm very seriously considering moving in with him. I stayed there for a week not so long ago because I was struggling to cope at home, I was just constantly upset.

How do I tell my parents that I'm moving out? How can I make them understand how I feel? It always seems to be about how I make them feel like crap. I've tried talking to them, but that is never going to work.

Rant Over

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have been feeling like this for a while and its realistic that you have somewhere to move to, you should do it, especially if you think that living with your bf will be ok.

    Maybe you should tell your parents close to or on the day you move out, it'll reduce available time for arguements. Also it will reduce the amount of time they might 'change for the better' only for you to decide to stay at home and things to fall back to the way they were.


    Is seems they are ungrateful for the things you do for them, and you moving out might make them realise what they've been doing wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there. From what you say it seems like you‘re ready to move out or at least need some space for a while. A lot of people your age are already living away from home so it’s not unusual that you feel like it’s time to move on, regardless of the problems your having with your parents. They may not react well initially to you going because it sounds like they really rely on you around the house. In time though, they should realise where you were coming from and respect that you took the decision to make a change. You could even suggest a month or 6 month trial period so it does not seem as dramatic. That would also give your new situation a chance to settle in and see if that could work in the long term. Living away from home can actually improve your family relationships once you’re out of each other’s pockets! Good luck with it all :)
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