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strange
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
some of you might remember what happened in summer..i don't really want to go into it again but it was traumatic. my ex has just sent a friend's request on facebook asking how i am at uni.
this is so strange, i feel like crying.
this is so strange, i feel like crying.
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I think it is morbid curiosity. It's drudging up feelings I don't want to think about right now. If he responds I may just be honest and say I want to leave it and not talk or just ignore altogether? Why do I feel like this
stargalaxy is talking lots of sense, in both posts. Don't worry about the fact you've replied straight away, but I wouldn't be surprised if guilt has caught up with this guy and you owe him nothing.
ETA: Have just seen this...
Again, no need to rush this decision. Perhaps see what he has to say for himself, but you know you can relish the fact you don't need this guy in your life now. It's totally understandable that you're feeling a whirlwind of emotions, it was a massively traumatic time and for him to try and swan back into your life so casually is very surreal I imagine.
I never thought I'd type it either! :razz:
very happy.
I spoke to my friend about it just now and she basically said (in a message) 'tell him to stuff it lol x'
But I guess no one else understands the relationship I had with him. We were extremely close and I trusted him implicitly. We could finish each other's sentences it was that intimate. It was a fun time so it makes me feel sad about everything.
Morbid curiosity made me look up my ex on Facebook just to see...I don't know what. But I can just about understand why you're confused.
If he replies then just try and keep it ambiguous. Have you accepted it yet or have you just replied to the message? Keep him on your restricted profile and don't give anything away. I know you were close but like sg says it doesn't forgive what he did and you owe him nothing.
Hope you're ok xx
yeah i definitely admit i still have feelings for him, it's hard to throw away. i don't think it's coming into conflict because i know that my ex let me down and because of that we will never get back together and i love rob the guy i'm with now and he treats me well so that is an enormous plus. i'm not still in love with my ex but i have the strong acknowledgement that i did love him..it's hard to explain how i'm feeling right now
That's stupid imho. Don't act like the recalcitrant child. Being friends on facebook means shit. Just answer his question reluctantly and as superficial as possible and the questions very soon will cease. Cry on the inside, but don't demonstrate that you are broken. You have a new boyfriend and it's nothing of his business. If you aren't over it (but you said you did), at least act like it's not of any bother to you. Because very soon it won't anymore.
If he keeps mooching up to you, messaging you etc. tell him, that you don't feel like talking to him much for what happened, but for the love of god don't be nasty or otherwise weird.
the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
Ironically, this is the first post I spotted after just deleting over 40 "friends" from my facebook list of people I haven't seen in years and/or have no interest in ever seeing again. Being facebook friends doesn't mean you're friends in real life.
I don't know what happened in the summer, but I'm guessing its not good, so take your time to reply to him if he messages you again, and remember you don't owe him anything.
oh does it? If Facebook is akin to one of those network sites I use, then the experience I made with it is, that you have that guy that sells you your hotdogs on there (well, slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean).
if you put him on 'block' without any further word it just appears poor, imho, even tho he might deserve it. In the sense, that you show weakness. that might be a personal thing of me, however. Even if I'd think about my ex, I wouldn't show angry or sad emotions out of the blue. Act like you don't notice him any more as the oxygen you breathe, because that's how it should be (and it usually helps me, thinking like that, because the progress of not bothering goes quicker)
Ignore him, no prob. maybe (as someone said) give him restricted use to look at your profile if that's possible, but - and like I said it's my personal thing to handle things like that - do not demonstrate "hate" or "bitterness", just unconcern, indifference, etc.
Nobody but you can decide if you are ready to talk to him again but I think time is a healer in this case.
As for whether you should've accepted/messaged with him, well that's between you and your God. Don't feel bad about having accepted him, but if it is making you feel awkward and unsteady then don't think twice about deleting him. Do only what's going to cause you the least upset.
I think you did the right thing. You don't owe him anything and you need to think what is best for yourself.