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This is so depressing
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My girlfriend's parents told her to go to Dubai, her uncle has a job there waiting for her. The news was so sudden to us, she told me 2 days ago. Until now I couldn't take the news. She told them she doesn't want to go, but it isn't her choice, they say. Which is stupid coz she's 22! She's old enough! I'm so depressed coz she's gonna be so far away, and I can't do anything about it.. I don't know what to do anymore, we love each other so much and have plans for our future, and now... *sigh*
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I guess it depends on the family's culture though.
For example, I have a mate who's from Bangladesh (he moved here to study) and he was staying at my place after work's Christmas dinner. Anyway, he told his Mum that he was staying at my male flatmate's place.
It's something that is to do with family morals, I was talking about it to some friends too. We take it for granted that as Westerners, we have freedom from a relatively young age.
However, the lady in question may be a Westerner, is she?
that's all I could do right now.
Innit.
That sucks man, but I'd seriously try getting your girlfriend to reconsider and stick up for herself, if she really doesn't want to go.
Legally noone can make her go but socially her parents could make it a complete nightmare for her if she refused. I guess it depends on how she has been brought up and what kind of relationship she has with her parents.
:yes:
But it depends a lot to on cultural / relationship issues in her family which without knowing more is difficult to comment on. but if she didn't want to go, from a legal standpoint her parents would be powerless to make her.
well, i give namaste that.
in some culture that might be a real disgrace for your whole family. If you are brought up that way I guess it's a lot more difficult than any of you can imagine.
If my parents tried to force me to move to another country/marry someone of their own choice/whatever, I'd be very quick to tell them to fuck off.
I think thats a very nieve statement.
There are many examples of girls in the UK being killed by thier parents for refusing to do as thier parents wanted. Even if your parents are unlikely to kill you it could mean the whole of your world being turned upside down, never being allowed to see your parents, sibilings and other family members again. Not getting access to your inheritance or even getting your allowance cut off could also make you think twice about saying no to a parental request.
I have on occasion (obv when i was much youngr) told my parents that they can't tell me what to do - but i've also have friends who have been paranoied about being seen talking to boys at university for fear of how thier parents would react.
Telling them to fuck of is hardly likely to abate the situation though is it
Well then your lucky that your *culture* allows you to do so