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She needs me, but I don't want to be a crutch
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, first of all, I'll try to tell it as it is, because often I end up moaning and paint a worse picture than reality. But basically, at the moment I've come to a crossroads or trade-off situation where I'm having to either my girlfriend's happiness or my own freedom.
It's not that she's intentionally possessive, just if I do my own thing she might text me saying she's lonely, and we often end up having arguments because I tell her, when she tells me she's upset because I haven't seen her or something, it makes me feel guilty, and then my chest feels tight and I feel claustrophobic, and when she starts crying because I can't talk normally but in a fast, almost argumentative but not quite, it just makes me 'lose it' - not in an angry way but I just need instant space right then and there.
It's happened fairly frequently recently as well. I was at York Uni last year, but due to all sorts of reasons had the rest of the year off, and have rejoined a different course as a 'demi-fresher'. A new start for me, brill. Except this time she's joined me! Whilst I don't mind, I thought I'd get a bit more space. Maybe see her two or three times a week. I mean, when I was at uni originally was the best for me, seeing her once every two to three weeks.
I never pulled behind her back or did things that a lot of people in relationships at uni seem to do, I had an ace time with my male and female mates, didn't mind hugging the girls and downing pints with the guys and getting plastered. Now, hugging girls makes her jealous, and downing pints makes her scared I'm going to be a drunk wreck.
It really frustrates me, I just wish she'd go off with her mates and forget about me, seriously, just completely let her hair down have a good time and then from time to time we can hang out to enhance each other's lives.
Whilst in the past I was in a position where I did want to share a lot of time and space with her, after things happened involved me getting hurt a lot and then getting shit on some more, we did get back together but it is different for me. It's like, I want the companionship and I love hanging out - like she's my best mate (who I also love) - but I am kind of in a position in my life where I want the independence of being single.
It's not that she's intentionally possessive, just if I do my own thing she might text me saying she's lonely, and we often end up having arguments because I tell her, when she tells me she's upset because I haven't seen her or something, it makes me feel guilty, and then my chest feels tight and I feel claustrophobic, and when she starts crying because I can't talk normally but in a fast, almost argumentative but not quite, it just makes me 'lose it' - not in an angry way but I just need instant space right then and there.
It's happened fairly frequently recently as well. I was at York Uni last year, but due to all sorts of reasons had the rest of the year off, and have rejoined a different course as a 'demi-fresher'. A new start for me, brill. Except this time she's joined me! Whilst I don't mind, I thought I'd get a bit more space. Maybe see her two or three times a week. I mean, when I was at uni originally was the best for me, seeing her once every two to three weeks.
I never pulled behind her back or did things that a lot of people in relationships at uni seem to do, I had an ace time with my male and female mates, didn't mind hugging the girls and downing pints with the guys and getting plastered. Now, hugging girls makes her jealous, and downing pints makes her scared I'm going to be a drunk wreck.
It really frustrates me, I just wish she'd go off with her mates and forget about me, seriously, just completely let her hair down have a good time and then from time to time we can hang out to enhance each other's lives.
Whilst in the past I was in a position where I did want to share a lot of time and space with her, after things happened involved me getting hurt a lot and then getting shit on some more, we did get back together but it is different for me. It's like, I want the companionship and I love hanging out - like she's my best mate (who I also love) - but I am kind of in a position in my life where I want the independence of being single.
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Comments
Yea.
I've thought about this. It's one of those things in a way. Like, part of me wants to move on and part of me doesn't. :chin:
my opinion is that when you start wanting to be free from a relationship theres no going back,soon as its in your head it wont go,will eventually split just a matter of when.anyways good luck whateva u do.