Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

being hurt again and again

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
its jus happened to me for the 2nd time in a year, couldnt offer anymore to a girl, but i always pick one with issues. Im okay looking, nice person, but a lot more assertive than i used to be, and just wondered how someone who is actually decent can just keep gettin hurt?!

I cant wait to find out what a girl who genuinely likes me for me is going to be like, surely things have gotta take a turn for the better soon?! It seems you can be everything to a girl and she will turn u away because she is not used to a decent bloke who doesnt argue with and put in her place...

its crazy, i dont have a clue anymore

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sucks mate, but that''s love for you.
    Life and love is constantly unfair and fucked up, decent blokes will get rejected and hurt whilst dickheads get girls eating out of the palm of their hands.
    Unfortunately things just work out like that, and we have to just be patient and hope that it will work out for us in the end. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    It sucks mate, but that''s love for you.
    Life and love is constantly unfair and fucked up, decent blokes will get rejected and hurt whilst dickheads get girls eating out of the palm of their hands.
    Unfortunately things just work out like that, and we have to just be patient and hope that it will work out for us in the end. :)

    Aye, always seems to work that way don't it. Normally works that the nice guy has to watch on but don't give up lol, plenty out there!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everything comes to an end. Being young, I've found 'girls'... they come and go. Just the way it is. You've got to learn not to attach yourself so much.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yer i kno, but thats easier sed than done. Stupid thing is, i know 2 or 3 girls that im friendly with and have sed they want more, but im jus not attracted to them. Either the world is screwed up or i am...summit i cant decide
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm, its not quite so bad cos wen i met her, i was still a bit delicate on the subject of the girl i was with over xmas so the feelin is goin a lot quicker...Dammit, ive got a screwed up head, thank god for the new football season and motor racing, haha ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattLiverpool wrote: »
    You can put her in her place and be a kind person you know.

    what is her place?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    what is her place?

    Careful Matt, I can smell an ambush

    :rolleyes: @ self
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattLiverpool wrote: »
    You can put her in her place and be a kind person you know.

    I quite agree, so long as you buy her roses when you chain her to the kitchen sink its all OK.

    Being rejected sucks, but it's nothing to do with being nice, and if you're a bastard you'll be rejected a lot more.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattLiverpool wrote: »
    I understand perfectly what you mean bobhope, but i think it's important to realise you should not take this too seriously.

    You can't turn around and start trying to "put her in her place" and hold that as your attitude just like you can't be a "nice guy" lapdog all the time.

    You have to find the balance, she will not respect you with either of those attitudes. I'm hoping you understand what "put her in her place" means and you're not becoming misogynistic.

    Be the perfect lover when she deserves it, if she has been disrespectufl to you, tell her! "who taught you to talk like that". Remember that you are the most important thing in your life and you can do without someone who is going to disrespect you, but it's also important to remember how would you respect someone who does not respect them self enough to stop you walking all over them?

    Find the balance and find the right person, forget about this girl for now.

    From a girl's persepective MattLiverpool is right.
    I've now dumped a couple blokes now for being too nice. Don't ask me why, it just annoys the hell out of me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've been told im too nice before but i like to pamper my girl maybe i go too far though, i dont like leaving arguments unsettled either so i usually end up giving in :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicolalou wrote: »
    From a girl's persepective MattLiverpool is right.
    I've now dumped a couple blokes now for being too nice. Don't ask me why, it just annoys the hell out of me.

    :yes: It's as though they've no back bone and will go out of their way to please you instead of standing up for themselves.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattLiverpool wrote: »
    I understand perfectly what you mean bobhope, but i think it's important to realise you should not take this too seriously.

    You can't turn around and start trying to "put her in her place" and hold that as your attitude just like you can't be a "nice guy" lapdog all the time.

    You have to find the balance, she will not respect you with either of those attitudes. I'm hoping you understand what "put her in her place" means and you're not becoming misogynistic.

    Be the perfect lover when she deserves it, if she has been disrespectufl to you, tell her! "who taught you to talk like that". Remember that you are the most important thing in your life and you can do without someone who is going to disrespect you, but it's also important to remember how would you respect someone who does not respect them self enough to stop you walking all over them?

    Find the balance and find the right person, forget about this girl for now.

    I honestly couldn't have said it any better. I used to be your typical "nice guy"....oh God. I met this girl in 2005................. Two words: NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry about it mate and just learn from your mistakes, you can't go on like this falling in love twice a year and getting shit on, you'll lose all confidence in women and will never believe you can be happy.

    I always take the piss and say "everyone loves a bastard" but it is true to a certain extent, some girls would love your arse off if you were a complete bastard to them most of the time but that wouldn't make you happy cos thats not who you are.
    You do as others have said need to find that compromise, if you let them walk all over you, let them win every argument, then in my experience they will never love you.

    I've being in relationships on both sides, ones where I've ruled the roost because I've not let myself fall in love cos of being hurt in the past and when I've being the loved up one and the other half has ruled the roost, both ways have always ended up the same and that is that your not together anymore, neither way is right cracking in the end to tell you truth, you need to find a girl where theres that compromise, where neither of you rules the roost!!

    I think I've just find that now and I've just turned 25 and had plenty of girls and a number of long term relationships, so like I said to start with, try and get over it and make sure you learn from your mistakes and then the same thing won't happen next time!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bobhope wrote: »
    its jus happened to me for the 2nd time in a year, couldnt offer anymore to a girl, but i always pick one with issues. Im okay looking, nice person, but a lot more assertive than i used to be, and just wondered how someone who is actually decent can just keep gettin hurt?!

    I cant wait to find out what a girl who genuinely likes me for me is going to be like, surely things have gotta take a turn for the better soon?! It seems you can be everything to a girl and she will turn u away because she is not used to a decent bloke who doesnt argue with and put in her place...

    its crazy, i dont have a clue anymore


    Huni, seriously, you prob have so much to give, just wait for it to happen. You'll be happy one day, I promise you that. :)
Sign In or Register to comment.