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Relationship with mum...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Its driving me up the wall. How can you tell your mum to back off? If I tell her anything about hows things are going generally, she'll make it her personal problem to boot, and she'll constantly nag about it until its resolved. I suppose you can say dont talk to your mum about personal issues and situations, but thats what families there for! I know I can deal with things on my own and I've been pretty successful so far in life to prove this, but it seems none of this good enough, nothing is ever good enough! Nothing is ever positive with her and her negative attitude down the years I think has taken its toll on me. I hate coming home out of uni term time, and it shouldn't be like that. I know she wants me home because I'm her son, and she offers me a roof and food. But it seems when I take the liberty in taking them the novelty of it doesn't last long. Everything from bills, to education, to employment to relationships, she has to have a say in it all and its never good or constructive. She never lets it go! I mean a conversation will start of light heartedly and turn into a life concerning debate! Its bleeding ridiculous! I even try avoid her when I'm at home, and leave it to the odd conversation, but it always ends up a real stubborn stalemate. I never get any time with my little sister because shes always with her and I cant be arsed/doing with my mums lectures or concentrated negativity when frankly I've got enough of that going on at the minute. I feel like I'm being grinded down and my mums the only person on earth who could ever manage that.
I don't want her out of my life, but I cant hack her constant negative input and moaning! Her opinions seem to make situations harder not easier and its starting to get me down! Anyone ever had similar problems?
I don't want her out of my life, but I cant hack her constant negative input and moaning! Her opinions seem to make situations harder not easier and its starting to get me down! Anyone ever had similar problems?
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If the only interaction you have with your mum is seeing her at home and getting into arguments then do you think it would make things better if you went out with her and your sister and did soemthing as a family?
I used to be like that, my Mam is a proper nag. I had a massive falling out with her about two years ago because she was going on and on and on and I went the best part of a year without any contact with her at all. That was a bit extreme, but I think things will end up coming to a head and you'll probably end up having a big row about it.
Personally, I swallowed my pride and I'm on such good terms with my Mam now. There's a bit of physical distance which helps, but I think she's learned that I'm my own person and she's not quite so forceful nowadays. I'm a lot more respectful now too. I really do cherish my relationship with my folks now, you really do realise what they mean to you as the years go by.
Anyway .. back to your problem .. i would say talk to her about it but i know from experience mums dont like being told they are doing things wrong/ nags. Maybe get some space inbetween you and her, help her out with a few things around the house and the next time she offers you advice or an opinion just nodd politely and say, 'I'll take that into account'' thats what i do.
As for your little sister, how old is she? if shes young enough take her out to the cinema or something you mum might appreciate some time to herself or something
It's only because she cares.
It gets on my tits... But then, I am glad my Mum cares enough to want to involve herself in my life because my Dad rarely does.
but i hate the way it makes me feel really down. nd all that stuff doesn't help my situation.
don't you evry just feel like running away? It can be painful, because like you say families are there to support. My advice would be when you have something to say which might bother her, take her somewher public, whilst shopping or something.
xxxx
Mums are like that, maybe you just need space.
Haha, I'm getting the same at the moment. They don't realise that the more they nag, they less I'm gonna do. Explaining that to them is fucking useless though. :mad:
But I think it`s not important to obbey ur mum so much... I often wanna to do something myself- so I don`t tell her before. But It`s my family/ u have another one///