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Standing a girl up...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Can anyone on here explain to me how its possible for a guy to be really interested in a girl one day then quite happily stand her up 4 their first date the nest day? Because i'm really not overly sure what i did wrong : O( cass xx :crying:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear you got stood up - did you contact him to find out why he never showed up?

    Maybe he got scared and thought you wouldn't show so did the same thing?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup he gave very badly made up excuse and gave the impression that he'd totally lost interest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    yup he gave very badly made up excuse and gave the impression that he'd totally lost interest.

    Well has he ruled out seeing you again? What sort of vibes you sending out cos its hard for us blokes to know where we stand.

    If you still like this chap why not try sort something low key out, maybe meet up with few of your mates and his, so that if he does bottle it again you wont be left on your own!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup i'd say meetin up with him again is out of the question. he turned from a really nice bloke to a 'scuse my french' shit over night. i met him about a month ago outside our local niteclub. both of us were rather drunk and he came over told me i was gorgeous (not something i hear alot and v much shows how drunk he was) then he got my number.

    We've been texting on and off since then last week we were meant to meet up with my mates and his. just keeping it casual. but then my fone broke and my friend got caught out being underage in the club we were meant to be meeting in and i had no way of contacting him. Although to be fair he was supposed to ring me once he was in there so we could meet up, which he didnt as by that time i had my sim in a friends fone i just didnt have his number.

    Soooooo on wed i got a message saying hello, and basically i was like um whose this and he then(didnt actually kno it was him) text back saying i love you. SO obviously i just asumed it was one of my mates pratting about knowing i had no numbers. Then he text me again saying do you love me and then some other generally weird stuff. Finally i got it out of him that it was him and we started txting each other like we had before. I just put the weird messages down to drunkeness or something then at 3 o clock in the morning thurs nite/fri morn he asked me to go meet him . Which after ALOT of umming and ahhing i did. We got on really well and he asked me out for last nite. So we carried on txting on fri and he was really REALLY keen, and was equally keen back, flirty but not desperate, then yest i txt him asking what time he was picking me up, like he said he was going to. And he didnt txt back. so as i'm a bit simple i got ready and everything, thinking maybe he was workin late or that his phone mite be playing up, but in the end he just didnt show. I tried ringing him a couple of times and he turned his phone off.

    SO in the end i went round to my mates house and my 2 best friends got hold off his number and basically went a bit mad at him . Which yes i know was really not the best idea and no i'm not a pysco bunny boiler, but in the end he txt me saying that he hadnt got back to stafford till late. but he would take me out another time if really wanted. v patronisingly. so my mates just took that as a green light to give a fair bit of abuse.

    So i've well and truly blown it there. I dont need telling that i shouldnt have let my mates go at him like that but i was upset and i've been messed around ALOT in the past and that is the first time i've ever actually stood up 4 myself/ let someone stand up for me. ALl i wanna kno is where exactly did i go wrong so that he went from flirting with me and making plans for our date to basically ignoring me and then patronising me. cass :O( xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like he just wanted a friday night shag to me then got scared off by something..

    Paragraphs please!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    SO in the end i went round to my mates house and my 2 best friends got hold off his number and basically went a bit mad at him .
    so my mates just took that as a green light to give a fair bit of abuse.

    We are sorry hun. :(

    No point me giving advice, I think you know what I think by now. :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    Sounds like he just wanted a friday night shag to me then got scared off by something..

    Paragraphs please!

    lol not only did that make me feel rather crap but u insulted my paragraphing aswel!!! lol made me laugh tho...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nikki* wrote: »
    We are sorry hun. :(

    No point me giving advice, I think you know what I think by now. :heart:

    Good god woman ! I'm not complaing u n kirst made me feel 4000 times better than should have been possible. N i love ya both v much 4 it. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry :lol:
    Just i know that if ive come out of a club at the end of the night pissed up and start chatting some girls up its not generally because i'm looking for someone to date you know what i mean
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i do kno what u mean hun , ive done it myself. lol. but it seems like alot of effort for a quick shag, plus if that was it when i met him the other nite he would have tried it on and he didnt, he even asked permission 2 kiss me ffs.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would not have anything more to do with this man. Unless there was a genuine reason for it, (and he would have been in touch long ago if there were) his behaviour was disgraceful.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I would not have anything more to do with this man. Unless there was a genuine reason for it, (and he would have been in touch long ago if there were) his behaviour was disgraceful.

    Knew I liked you :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    i do kno what u mean hun , ive done it myself. lol. but it seems like alot of effort for a quick shag, plus if that was it when i met him the other nite he would have tried it on and he didnt, he even asked permission 2 kiss me ffs.

    You don't know fuck all about this guy so maybe he's got a gf and just wanted to have little fun with you. Its hard trying to 2nd guess people's actions, best not to think about it anymore as you'll only think the worse and feel about yourself. Don't punish yourself for he's fuck up. He's the one that'll miss out!

    Least you wont have to worry about him fucking you about again. You've had a lucky escape if you ask me hun!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you guys really are ace. Thanks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nikki* wrote: »
    Knew I liked you :)
    Well, it's just not the done thing, is it? Standing a girl up like that is appalling. If I'm so much as one minute late for a date, I'm full of apologies and spend the rest of the night trying to make it up to her. The idea of setting up a date and not bothering to turn up disgusts me. I just couldn't do it!

    As for you liking me... :blush::)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So i'm not wrong to be pissed of then? x :) x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    So i'm not wrong to be pissed of then? x :) x
    Nope. But I think you'd be wasting your time being angry. There's a lot of other blokes out there who won't stand you up, after all!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol just not on my horizon!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    lol just not on my horizon!!!
    Don't be like that - you may just be very surprised.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol u sound like my friends. THey dont realise that i've been shit out of luck with men 4 years!! ALthough this latest encounter was a bit crap its probably one of the nicer experiences i have with men. So while i'm not about to suggest killing off all men and using a petri dish instead. I'm definately running out of opitmisism. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    So while i'm not about to suggest killing off all men and using a petri dish instead. I'm definately running out of opitmisism. x
    A petri dish? If you're not with a man, it's usually a better idea to use a Rampant Rabbit instead. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    A petri dish? If you're not with a man, it's usually a better idea to use a Rampant Rabbit instead. :p

    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cassandralennon wrote: »
    yup i'd say meetin up with him again is out of the question. he turned from a really nice bloke to a 'scuse my french' shit over night. i met him about a month ago outside our local niteclub. both of us were rather drunk and he came over told me i was gorgeous (not something i hear alot and v much shows how drunk he was) then he got my number. We've been texting on and off since then last week we were meant to meet up with my mates and his. just keeping it casual. but then my fone broke and my friend got caught out being underage in the club we were meant to be meeting in and i had no way of contacting him. Although to be fair he was supposed to ring me once he was in there so we could meet up, which he didnt as by that time i had my sim in a friends fone i just didnt have his number. Soooooo on wed i got a message saying hello, and basically i was like um whose this and he then(didnt actually kno it was him) text back saying i love you. SO obviously i just asumed it was one of my mates pratting about knowing i had no numbers. Then he text me again saying do you love me and then some other generally weird stuff. Finally i got it out of him that it was him and we started txting each other like we had before. I just put the weird messages down to drunkeness or something then at 3 o clock in the morning thurs nite/fri morn he asked me to go meet him . Which after ALOT of umming and ahhing i did. We got on really well and he asked me out for last nite. So we carried on txting on fri and he was really REALLY keen, and was equally keen back, flirty but not desperate, then yest i txt him asking what time he was picking me up, like he said he was going to. And he didnt txt back. so as i'm a bit simple i got ready and everything, thinking maybe he was workin late or that his phone mite be playing up, but in the end he just didnt show. I tried ringing him a couple of times and he turned his phone off. SO in the end i went round to my mates house and my 2 best friends got hold off his number and basically went a bit mad at him . Which yes i know was really not the best idea and no i'm not a pysco bunny boiler, but in the end he txt me saying that he hadnt got back to stafford till late. but he would take me out another time if really wanted. v patronisingly. so my mates just took that as a green light to give a fair bit of abuse. So i've well and truly blown it there. I dont need telling that i shouldnt have let my mates go at him like that but i was upset and i've been messed around ALOT in the past and that is the first time i've ever actually stood up 4 myself/ let someone stand up for me. ALl i wanna kno is where exactly did i go wrong so that he went from flirting with me and making plans for our date to basically ignoring me and then patronising me. cass :O( xx

    WOW, its like reading the Telegraph!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Something so drastic usually involves another girl...

    Sorry :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my experience most blokes you meet when your pissed in a club don't really tend to be the most reliable when it comes to meeting up again. It's usually one of those seemed like a good idea at the time things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I don't mean this to come across as harsh as I think it might

    But didn't the alarm bells start ringing when he was texting 'I love you' and 'do you love me' after you'd only met the guy once? If it was me, I would have changed my phone number and taken out a restraining order, let alone agree to a date

    Don't take the whole experience to heart too much though, to be fair we have established that not only are you better off without him but it's well and truly his loss!

    Lol exactly. I text my friend on wednesday night saying what a freak he was!!!! Then somehow i managed to convince myself it was just me being overly critical again. I am very good at convincing myself to believe the best in people :) Neway guys. Thanks for all your help and words of comfort but i'm very much over it now!! xx
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