Home Sex & Relationships

Once a liar, always a liar?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do you all think about people that lie.

If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that lied to you would you split up with them?

Surely if you stay with that person theres always going to be that bit of doubt about whether they are telling the truth, with everything that they say.

Of course it depends on the lie, but everyone has different definitions of what is and is not acceptible to lie about.

As for me, theres nothing i hate more than a liar and i would like to think that i would split up with my boyfriend instantly if i was to find out he's lied to me.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shadow wrote: »
    Yes i dont like people that do that if i had a gf that did that i would split up with them if they kept doing it constantly. I have lied before because i dont like upsetting people but its different from this.

    I dont think lying is ok if its to prevent upsetting someone. Thats like saying its ok to cheat on someone and deny it, to not upset that person.

    Im finding it hard to think of a scenario where lying would be ok. I just dont see the point in not telling the truth, I always tell the truth and cant see why anyone else would have a problem doing that too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well there are little white lies that people tell every day to prevent hurting peoples feelings or if you feel you might get into trouble with your parents or at work, sometimes they just roll of your tongue lol! Some people feel to exaggerate the truth to make themselves look good! There are so many reasons why people lie and it really does depend on the situation at hand and the sort of person you are. I personally think the people to watch are the ones that dont even know they are lying anymore.........xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really think that an ex boyfriend of mine was a compulsive liar. He'd lie about the stupidest of things for no reason. I hate when friends obviously lie to get out of something soon after saying yes. Truth is so much better and then I don't feel like they take me for a mug.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Blah wrote: »

    Im finding it hard to think of a scenario where lying would be ok. I just dont see the point in not telling the truth, I always tell the truth and cant see why anyone else would have a problem doing that too.

    I can think of one. My Nan buys me a present for my birthday - she's really proud of it and has gone to A LOT of effort to find it, then buy it and then truck it all the way to London to give it to me. She is very frail and is very excited about giving it to me. I open the present and it is the most ugly, awful piece of furniture I have ever seen. Do I tell her that? Of course not. Her: "Do you like it lovey?"
    Me: "Yes Nan, it's lovely, thank you so much."

    No harm done. I don't like it - but I couldn't bare to hurt her after she went to so much effort - and what would be the point?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote: »
    I can think of one. My Nan buys me a present for my birthday - she's really proud of it and has gone to A LOT of effort to find it, then buy it and then truck it all the way to London to give it to me. She is very frail and is very excited about giving it to me. I open the present and it is the most ugly, awful piece of furniture I have ever seen. Do I tell her that? Of course not. Her: "Do you like it lovey?"
    Me: "Yes Nan, it's lovely, thank you so much."

    No harm done. I don't like it - but I couldn't bare to hurt her after she went to so much effort - and what would be the point?

    Thats a good example. I do consider that as ok, but i think reasons like this are rare.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Blah wrote: »
    I do consider that as ok, but i think reasons like this are rare.

    :yes: that's true. I'll just always remember that example because when I was about 6, I told my Mum's friend I didn't like a present she gave me. I was in BIG trouble for trying to argue the "isn't it always best to tell the truth" line :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about when I've had a shit day, my girlfriend is over the moon about something and is really excited then she says 'are you ok?' and I say 'yea, I'm fine, just tired' with a weak smile. She buys it fine, and doesn't have to worry about me!

    I do know what you're saying though. It's hard to trust again after someone has broken that trust. But I think a lot of people lie. I mean, I'd prefer if my friends were honest with me, it's a bit annoying when people say they've got homework or coursework to do and you find out later that wasn't the case, they just didn't wanna hang out. Cos I can take the truth :p.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    I really think that an ex boyfriend of mine was a compulsive liar. He'd lie about the stupidest of things for no reason.

    My ex was like that.

    He admitted to me once that he was a compulsive liar, and admitted some things to me, then obviously forgot he'd done so and it was made even more obvious when he was lying :D. It wasn't over anything important, though, so I didn't care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    My ex was like that.

    He admitted to me once that he was a compulsive liar, and admitted some things to me, then obviously forgot he'd done so and it was made even more obvious when he was lying :D. It wasn't over anything important, though, so I didn't care.

    Haha oh dear. My ex lives in Essex now...hehe :p
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Blah wrote: »
    Thats a good example. I do consider that as ok, but i think reasons like this are rare.
    Agreed. In specific cases it might be acceptable, but definitely not something to do all the time.

    To be honest, I think that if someone can justify lying and feel no remorse about it, they're unlikely to change their minds later. People do change, I just think this is a very unlikely change to happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    depends entirelly on the circumstances

    from a relationship point of view both parties are going to lie about small things from time to time.. but what really gets me is when someone is caught out lying and tries to lie their way out of it.. just digging and digging and digging.. thats what gets you thinkin!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote: »
    I dont think lying is ok if its to prevent upsetting someone. Thats like saying its ok to cheat on someone and deny it, to not upset that person.

    :yes: Personally I would prefer someone to upset me than lie to me.

    As for the original question - it would depend on the situation. If it was something small then I'd say that won't make them always a liar and if it was something big then maybe they might always be a liar to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    What about when I've had a shit day, my girlfriend is over the moon about something and is really excited then she says 'are you ok?' and I say 'yea, I'm fine, just tired' with a weak smile. She buys it fine, and doesn't have to worry about me!


    See things like that would upset me.

    I'd be uspet if my boyfriend felt he couldn't tell me he was unhappy about something just incase it would ruin my fun. I think its silly to hide things like that, I'd probably be able to tell he was unhappy anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate people who lie about things to make themselves sound better, cooler or whatever

    I have lied to boyfriends before about not cheating on them which I do regret to a certain extent but it had to be done ..

    I try not to lie too much but I do lie to cover my tracks

    But to answer your question if i was in a relationship hopefully a lie wouldn't split us up depending on what the lie was and who said the lie.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you all think about people that lie.
    Not very highly... Depending on the lie.


    If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that lied to you would you split up with them?
    Yes because I don't believe in second chances for liars or cheaters.


    I wouln't knowingly date somebody who had cheated a lot in the past as I believe that once you've cheated, you'll always be inclined to do it. I don't believe that humans are naturally monogomous anyway, but I read somewhere about a cheating gene, that some people are more susceptible to chat than others. I would see somebody casually, but never seriously if I knew they couldn't be faithful (or if I felt I couldn't be).

    As for liars, it depends on the lie. If they lie about who they are, or what job they do, then no way in hell... If they lie to protect me, then there's a small chance. I value honesty tho, I've been dicked around too much. I'd have to be with somebody very honest with me anyway.
Sign In or Register to comment.