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Once a liar, always a liar?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do you all think about people that lie.
If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that lied to you would you split up with them?
Surely if you stay with that person theres always going to be that bit of doubt about whether they are telling the truth, with everything that they say.
Of course it depends on the lie, but everyone has different definitions of what is and is not acceptible to lie about.
As for me, theres nothing i hate more than a liar and i would like to think that i would split up with my boyfriend instantly if i was to find out he's lied to me.
If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that lied to you would you split up with them?
Surely if you stay with that person theres always going to be that bit of doubt about whether they are telling the truth, with everything that they say.
Of course it depends on the lie, but everyone has different definitions of what is and is not acceptible to lie about.
As for me, theres nothing i hate more than a liar and i would like to think that i would split up with my boyfriend instantly if i was to find out he's lied to me.
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Comments
I dont think lying is ok if its to prevent upsetting someone. Thats like saying its ok to cheat on someone and deny it, to not upset that person.
Im finding it hard to think of a scenario where lying would be ok. I just dont see the point in not telling the truth, I always tell the truth and cant see why anyone else would have a problem doing that too.
I can think of one. My Nan buys me a present for my birthday - she's really proud of it and has gone to A LOT of effort to find it, then buy it and then truck it all the way to London to give it to me. She is very frail and is very excited about giving it to me. I open the present and it is the most ugly, awful piece of furniture I have ever seen. Do I tell her that? Of course not. Her: "Do you like it lovey?"
Me: "Yes Nan, it's lovely, thank you so much."
No harm done. I don't like it - but I couldn't bare to hurt her after she went to so much effort - and what would be the point?
Thats a good example. I do consider that as ok, but i think reasons like this are rare.
:yes: that's true. I'll just always remember that example because when I was about 6, I told my Mum's friend I didn't like a present she gave me. I was in BIG trouble for trying to argue the "isn't it always best to tell the truth" line
I do know what you're saying though. It's hard to trust again after someone has broken that trust. But I think a lot of people lie. I mean, I'd prefer if my friends were honest with me, it's a bit annoying when people say they've got homework or coursework to do and you find out later that wasn't the case, they just didn't wanna hang out. Cos I can take the truth .
My ex was like that.
He admitted to me once that he was a compulsive liar, and admitted some things to me, then obviously forgot he'd done so and it was made even more obvious when he was lying . It wasn't over anything important, though, so I didn't care.
Haha oh dear. My ex lives in Essex now...hehe
To be honest, I think that if someone can justify lying and feel no remorse about it, they're unlikely to change their minds later. People do change, I just think this is a very unlikely change to happen.
from a relationship point of view both parties are going to lie about small things from time to time.. but what really gets me is when someone is caught out lying and tries to lie their way out of it.. just digging and digging and digging.. thats what gets you thinkin!
:yes: Personally I would prefer someone to upset me than lie to me.
As for the original question - it would depend on the situation. If it was something small then I'd say that won't make them always a liar and if it was something big then maybe they might always be a liar to me.
See things like that would upset me.
I'd be uspet if my boyfriend felt he couldn't tell me he was unhappy about something just incase it would ruin my fun. I think its silly to hide things like that, I'd probably be able to tell he was unhappy anyway.
I have lied to boyfriends before about not cheating on them which I do regret to a certain extent but it had to be done ..
I try not to lie too much but I do lie to cover my tracks
But to answer your question if i was in a relationship hopefully a lie wouldn't split us up depending on what the lie was and who said the lie.
Not very highly... Depending on the lie.
If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that lied to you would you split up with them?
Yes because I don't believe in second chances for liars or cheaters.
I wouln't knowingly date somebody who had cheated a lot in the past as I believe that once you've cheated, you'll always be inclined to do it. I don't believe that humans are naturally monogomous anyway, but I read somewhere about a cheating gene, that some people are more susceptible to chat than others. I would see somebody casually, but never seriously if I knew they couldn't be faithful (or if I felt I couldn't be).
As for liars, it depends on the lie. If they lie about who they are, or what job they do, then no way in hell... If they lie to protect me, then there's a small chance. I value honesty tho, I've been dicked around too much. I'd have to be with somebody very honest with me anyway.