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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think people should remember that it has been less than 40 years since homosexuality was decriminalised (I think).

    I'm sure 30 years ago we'd have been discussing the immorality of same sex couples.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    I think people should remember that it has been less than 40 years since homosexuality was decriminalised (I think).


    1967. 40 years of legal bum sex, let's have a party !
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote: »
    1967. 40 years of legal bum sex, let's have a party !

    :lol:

    At some point, didn't the government (or whoever it is) decide that it was some sort mental illness/disease?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know about the government, but it wasn't that long ago that the World Healh Organisation took homosexuality off it's Big Book of Diseases.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was probably thinking about the World Health Organisation; not the Government.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    It wasn't so long ago there was a thread about incest in P&D, feel free to drag it up, or start a new one :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote: »
    It wasn't so long ago there was a thread about incest in P&D, feel free to drag it up, or start a new one :thumb:

    Yay, that was my thread! :D hehe
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My parents died in a car accident when I was 7 so I have some idea of what you both have gone through. If you have always done everything together your sister may feel that your relationship with her is being threatened by your new relationship, so in order to regain exclusive closeness with you could be the reason why she has done this. It might be beneficial if you gently broach the subject of counselling to your sister, assuming you have not already been through this process. Hope this helps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have suggested counselling but she won't do it, she's too embarassed. That's understandable.

    I'm just worried that this is something that won't go away. She said she had thought about it for years.

    I always thought that we had a special relationship and it meant a lot to me, and now it looks like it's going to be destroyed by this.

    Having sex with her is something I've never considered before. I have to admit I'm not disgusted by the thought of it, it just would be really weird for me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    No because I'm a dyke. If I had a sister and I fell in love with her, I'd go out with her.

    But I don't have anything against incest if it works for a couple. Maybe people should open their minds a bit and veer away from the Judeo-Christian idea that incest is wrong. Is it natural? Maybe... Breeders often interbreed cats to get a prime kitty with good prize winning points. I don't think incest is common, nor do I think it's 'normal' behaviour, but then arguably neither is homosexuality 'normal' in the genetically functional sense.

    Yes, procreation between brother and sister would quite likely make you give birth to a child with severe disabilities but then couples who have inheritible diseases also could produce children that would suffer.

    Ballerina, I have seen my friend in Tis Pity She's a Whore, it's pretty confusing!

    Although you're right in the sense that technically it's ok, bear in mind that most incestuous relationships have an imbalance of power and will often not lead to healthy relationships, caused by either an emotional dependence or heaven forbid an abusive party. For that reason alone it is an offence in the UK, not because of genetic deformities with kids (which aren't as common as popular belief thinks).

    As for the OP: just take things naturally with your sister. You two are obviously very close and I'm glad that you've managed to talk to her and everything's getting sorted. If you're used to seeing each other naked, that's not in itself a bad thing. I walk around indecent most of the time, and my family, my friends and my families friends see all inches of me (I'm too lazy to get dressed in anything more than unbuttoned boxers, you can imagine the sight..)

    I don't think sex would be a good idea, and I think you know that in your apprehension towards the idea of it. Your sister obviously needs your affection and your 'protection' - to know that you'll be there for her. But, as I said previously, she's so dependent on you that she will get jealous if you see other people, and will probably get upset when you're not there. So somehow you both need to concentrate on building up a bigger network of friends who you can both be close to, so you don't need to depend on each other all the time.

    Your situation is a unique one, and your whole lives you'll probably be closer to each other than anyone else, except perhaps your partners, and I think that's actually quite nice, that you'll have someone there your whole life.

    But don't feel guilty, and tell her not to feel guilty either, these emotional mix ups are quite common, I mean just look at the amount of people who sleep with their best friend when they're upset and confused. It can and does happen with family too, although normally the members aren't so close or intimate that it gets to that stage, because the taboo keeps them from getting that close. However (and this might sound a bit weird), sexual fantasies of family members is commonly documented, and according to many psychologists is an indication simply of an emotional need to be close.

    So, I doubt she fancies the pants of you, I reckon it's more of an emotional thing, that you're the only man - or even person - she feels safe with.

    I can see how she's embarressed, but she need not be. You could both go to a counsellor or psychotherapist and tell them as much or as little as you want.

    Best of luck to the both of you,
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Although you're right in the sense that technically it's ok, bear in mind that most incestuous relationships have an imbalance of power and will often not lead to healthy relationships, caused by either an emotional dependence or heaven forbid an abusive party. For that reason alone it is an offence in the UK, not because of genetic deformities with kids (which aren't as common as popular belief thinks).

    As for the OP: just take things naturally with your sister. You two are obviously very close and I'm glad that you've managed to talk to her and everything's getting sorted. If you're used to seeing each other naked, that's not in itself a bad thing. I walk around indecent most of the time, and my family, my friends and my families friends see all inches of me (I'm too lazy to get dressed in anything more than unbuttoned boxers, you can imagine the sight..)

    I don't think sex would be a good idea, and I think you know that in your apprehension towards the idea of it. Your sister obviously needs your affection and your 'protection' - to know that you'll be there for her. But, as I said previously, she's so dependent on you that she will get jealous if you see other people, and will probably get upset when you're not there. So somehow you both need to concentrate on building up a bigger network of friends who you can both be close to, so you don't need to depend on each other all the time.

    Your situation is a unique one, and your whole lives you'll probably be closer to each other than anyone else, except perhaps your partners, and I think that's actually quite nice, that you'll have someone there your whole life.

    But don't feel guilty, and tell her not to feel guilty either, these emotional mix ups are quite common, I mean just look at the amount of people who sleep with their best friend when they're upset and confused. It can and does happen with family too, although normally the members aren't so close or intimate that it gets to that stage, because the taboo keeps them from getting that close. However (and this might sound a bit weird), sexual fantasies of family members is commonly documented, and according to many psychologists is an indication simply of an emotional need to be close.

    So, I doubt she fancies the pants of you, I reckon it's more of an emotional thing, that you're the only man - or even person - she feels safe with.

    I can see how she's embarressed, but she need not be. You could both go to a counsellor or psychotherapist and tell them as much or as little as you want.

    Best of luck to the both of you,

    :yes: wise, wise, wise words.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Although you're right in the sense that technically it's ok, bear in mind that most incestuous relationships have an imbalance of power and will often not lead to healthy relationships, caused by either an emotional dependence or heaven forbid an abusive party. For that reason alone it is an offence in the UK, not because of genetic deformities with kids (which aren't as common as popular belief thinks).

    But surely 'normal' relationships can have that issue. Why should it be the government's business what people do in their bedrooms?
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    As I've already mentioned, this isn't the place for a debate so feel free to take it over to P&D. But any more comments that don't relate to giving advice will be deleted.
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