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New here: I cut.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
<IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"&gt;
I don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but I cut. I've been doing it for a yr and half now, and I don't know what to do.
Am I even on the right msg board?

Anyway, I can't seem that it's hurting any1, except myself of course. But i've told like 4 friends and thats about it. I can control it so it's not a problem?
Anyone else with same problem please e mail as i'd like a different persons view, some one that understands?

Cheers

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi tourette

    Welcome to TheSite, make yourself at home. There are a lot of users here who have gone through similar experiences, and will be able to help and support you. I can promise you that nobody is going to call you an attention seeker, because you're doing the right thing here and asking for help.

    We also have some information about self-harm in our Headstate section, here's a link for you to click on: http://www.thesite.org/health/headstate/self_harm.html

    There are a couple of links at the bottom of that page that you might find useful too.

    all the best
    Karla
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by tourette:
    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"&gt;
    I don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but I cut.

    Is that not the reason that you cut.
    I had a girlfriend who done that, she also burnt herself with fags.
    the reason she done it was to attract attention, after a while she could not get the attention she wanted so took it further untill I could not take any more and have not spoke to her since.
    You say it does not affect anyone else, but I can promise you that it will be ripping the heart out of all those close who know, and if they dont say anything about it, its only because they dont know what to say.

    do you do it when you are alone?

    what started it off?

    can you talk to anyone about it?

    can you stop, or are you addicted?

    take care....

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Is that not the reason that you cut?"

    No offence but don't get on your high horse b4 u know what ur saying. I cut because it makes ME feel better. None of my family know, i don't think they even have a clue about it.

    I started because it's a control method. Everything at the time seemed so fake, so pre-prepared like nothing really mattered, and this was a way of showing to my self my feelings. I could but, no one could or still can control that. It's why way of forgettingthings for a minute.I can't hit someone, so I cut.

    I think your g/f did it 4 the wrong reasons.Some use it as a method of attention. Thats not why i do it.


    do you do it when you are alone?

    yes. only when i'm alone.

    what started it off?

    i answered that earlier. But i found out about it at that time.

    can you talk to anyone about it?

    not really.1 mate understands, but thats coz he does it too.

    can you stop, or are you addicted?

    i can control it at the moment i think.

    Sorry if this come out nasty. I just had to se the record straight.




    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sy,

    Many people who self-harm do so in private, and then cover up what they have done to themselves. It can be dangerous to label everyone who self-harms as an attention seeker. Why don't you have a look at our article too, and find out a bit more about some of the issues?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for understanding a bit better than the other guy did!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry about coming accross so harsh but I type how I talk and thats me.

    you say I dont understand, maybe not but I have seen the damge that cutting causes.

    "The regularity of life seems to hard, and your family dont even bother to notice how you are."

    "you use physical pain to relive the mental, which makes you feel worse because those who you want to take notice of you dont or dont seem too."

    So you see I dont understand. but I do understand this it will become an addiction and it will get worse.

    tace care not offence....


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should take a look at this site: http://www.selfinjury.freeserve.co.uk/myths.html
    it may clear things up for u a bit. Oh by the way. I'm a bloke so it's the same for both sexes.

    This may help you understand that not all people are doin it for the attention: http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html



    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welcome tourette (sorry if I spelt that wrong!). I can relate to this as Ive been there and unfortunatly am still there now despite not doing it for nine months!! I hope u dont feel alone coz its a lot more commen than u think. R u receiving any kind of help for this?
    Ignore people that think its done for attention, those of us who have been through it ourselves know its not the case although it sometimes is. Ive come across a few people who I think do it for that reason, but u have to look at it like this...if they r going to such extreme lengths for attention that is a problem in itself. It is easy to blame things people do to themselves on wanting attention...it kind of takes away the fact there may be something serious underneath it all and I guess it makes it kind of easier to deal with.
    Anyway I hope u realise that u can come on here for advice and support anytime u need it <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just a thought, but are you a Manics fan?

    "Cough up the rent, Mr Kent
    And don't go blame it on the government"
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    yeah he is MOK, i saw him say in another thread somewhere <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    i dont know early manics very well...

    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    ~ the late, great Douglas Adams
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Touretteagin welcome to The Site hope u like it here

    um I have a friend that cuts well had when she first told me i didn't understand it but it didn't seem to be such a big deal and it made her feel better so i let it go

    but the cut slowly started getting very bad and i started worrying about her alot i made her promise me to stop ofcourse i thought i check her wrist every week and saw no marks he didn't but he hadn't stop she was making the cuts were i couldn't see them i found out he was still cutting a few months later a cut (deep) in his thigh
    I told him i could watch her hurt herself anymore it was killing me so either i told him either he tells her mother and gets help or he stops being my friend that was 2 and a half years ago last i heard she tried to kill himself i don't know if i did the right thing tho maybe i could have helped her

    I know I'm not perfect but I can smile
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Obviously, the reason I brought up the Manics was the Ritchie link.

    I don't profess to be an expert, and I have now been to the site Karla mentioned and I think it summed up what I thought.

    Dude, you need help. Now.

    I'm not suggesting that you are unstable or anything but you obviously have issues, and you need to deal with them. This is a downwards spiral that you need to get off, while you can.

    Ritchie was cool, but he is not a role model you should follow. Better you follow James or Nicky.

    As for not hurting anyone. That's only because they don't know about it.....yet. Save your Mum the heartache and get help now.


    "Cough up the rent, Mr Kent
    And don't go blame it on the government"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay. So i was/ still am a manics fan. Simply put, yes i did get the idea from Richey but evey1 who cuts must get the idea from somewhere. At first it may have been "oh i'm sooooo in touch with Richey. I understand his feelings" thing, but to now have done it for a yr and half goes beyond that. To base him as a role model is just lazy on your part coz it goes deepre that, and if u tell that to manics fans that cut, you may get angry backlashed.

    Anyway,Kitty, maybe you should have stuck by him, he probably needed help....but it's difficult i know,coz unless you do it, it's hard to understand why ppl cut.
    Lolly, i know there's other people, and thanx. Have u cut recently? It's difficult and i can't see it fully going away for many years.

    That's my view. Thanks for your opinions. I spose it can lead to more serious problems but for now i know its under control.

    WOW THAT SHUT YOU LOT UP DIDN'T IT???????
    ANYONE STILL AROUND?
    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)

    [This message has been edited by tourette (edited 09-06-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WOW THAT SHUT EVERY1 UP DIDN'T IT?

    have u all gone now then?

    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I hadnt even noticed that their were other replies after the one I worte (silly billy I am <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">)!
    Yes I have cut recently unfortunatly. I stoppped the whole time I was pregnant, I still had the urge but I guess I just didnt do it coz I knew I was looking after something else (I dunno!?). Ive been doing a lot of really difficult work with my psychologist which has brought up a lot of bad feelings and I know thats why Im doing it again. As much as I hate myself fopr going back to it!

    U said that everyone gets the idea from somewhere, I dont entirely agree although I think thats usually the case. I started really young...cant remeber the age but I think around eight or nine!!! As far as I know I didnt get the idea from anything or anyone. Its funny coz whenevr I used to get mad as a child I would hurt myself in some form like biting and stuff...guess it was just inevitable that I would cut! Its different for everyone though and everyone does it for different reasons.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't get the idea of cutting myself from anywhere that I can remember, I just started doing it. The reason why I did it was because everything around me was falling apart and I got really depressed... I wanted scars so that something would stay with me forever. All the scars but one have faded now, though...

    Your cycles have bled into ones supposed to be my own
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I did it several years ago I was just really pissed off and wanted to take my anger out, I found it was better than punching walls or breaking stuff...

    I mean, I'm like a totally non-violent person so instead of taking it out on other people I kept it bottled up and took it out on myself...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks all you for the reply's! I didn't know that you have/are still doing it? It's meant to be a bit of a hidden epidemic?
    Lolly. You're story proves one thing to me, it doesn't stop if u grow up, have a baby or relationship? that worries/comforts me at the same time. Soz to hear you've started again. I'll leave the psycologist till i get worse first though.

    Justin....Good to here you've stopped.How long did u do it for?And you Amadee!!! how do u overcome the urge?

    Congratulations on the baby? come on details.....
    Thanks again.

    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    i know people who cut as its a way of releasing frustrations, showing how much they hate themselves and that they're worthless.. thats one person anyway. the other has done it before because they felt they had hurt someone emotionally and felt guilty for it and as if they deserved to feel pain too.

    so not everyone gets the idea from people such as richey edwards <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    ~ the late, great Douglas Adams
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I NEVER said that ever1 gets the idea from Richey Edwards.......i was mearly suggesting that some people get ideas from somewhere, be it internet, mates, hero's whatever....they may say that feeling guilt is there eason, but i did it coz i felt pissed off, not coz richey did it. it was a way of releasing things....

    Hope u understand?

    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to cut myself very much at all now, at most once every couple months, but if I do, I overcome it by going and doing something else. I usually want to cut myself when I'm sitting in my room alone listening to depressing music. So I'll go take a walk or call a friend or boyfriend or watch TV or check my email or clean my room or make bread or go to sleep... after a while I don't feel so crappy and I won't want to hurt myself anymore.

    When I was really depressed, though, I would do whatever it took to get myself in the mood to cut myself. I kept hurting myself more and more. I'd told everyone that I cut myself except my mother, eventually she found out and got me help. I was put on Zoloft for about 6 months. It didn't work at first and they had to keep upping the dosage, after the 3rd month they said if it didn't work soon I'd have to be hospitalized, but luckily it did work. After 3 more months I felt normal, so I went off the medication and I've been pretty much fine ever since.

    Everyone's depression is different, for some people it's something that they have to deal with for the rest of their lives, for other people most of it goes away. I think I'll always have to deal with it to some extent but I don't want to kill myself anymore and I'm happy the vast majority of the time.

    The extreme faction is closer than you thought.
    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by tourette:
    Thanks all you for the reply's! I didn't know that you have/are still doing it? It's meant to be a bit of a hidden epidemic?
    Lolly. You're story proves one thing to me, it doesn't stop if u grow up, have a baby or relationship? that worries/comforts me at the same time. Soz to hear you've started again. I'll leave the psycologist till i get worse first though.

    Justin....Good to here you've stopped.How long did u do it for?And you Amadee!!! how do u overcome the urge?

    Congratulations on the baby? come on details.....
    Thanks again.


    U r making a mistake by leaving it till it gets worse...how worse exactly? Worse as in when u hit a vein or cut so deep u need stitches? There is never a right time to see someone about a problem, u will just come up with another excuse....please just get yourself some help, why wait till it gets worse when u can prevent it getting worse in the first place. U r very wrong in thinking that it dont get better when u r older or have a baby etc. The majority of people who I know that used to cuty have had help and no longer do it. The reason I still do is because I am a fucking idiot and never worked with the people who offered me help in the past. Ive spent my life running away from my shit by taking drugs, trying to kill myself and numerous other things. This is not the answer! The reason I still do it is because I have never had the strength to let people help me. Im trying to finally do it now, not for myself but for the sake of Liam coz I am a fuck up as a mother! Dont leave it untill u r older or have a child...do something now before U end up where I am...trying to sort out really difficult problems and having to bring up a child at the same time!!!!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lolly:
    I am a fuck up as a mother

    Lolly, don't be so hard on yourself. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Anyway, Tourette, look your problems in the eye and go and get some professional help and support. Sooner rather than later.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I honestly feel like i have it under control and don't need help. I can deal with it in my own way at the moment. I didn't realisw that people really get that much help? Coz i thought that it wasn't taken seriuosly in this country...e.g my mate try to overdose...doctors laughed at him! (Bastards)
    You are NOT a fuck up as a mum. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    Cheers for support, not that i have actually stopped, but thanks for listening!

    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Karla:
    Lolly, don't be so hard on yourself. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Anyway, Tourette, look your problems in the eye and go and get some professional help and support. Sooner rather than later.


    Just ignore me Karla...I get like that at times but it passes lol! Thanx <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by tourette:
    I honestly feel like i have it under control and don't need help. I can deal with it in my own way at the moment. I didn't realisw that people really get that much help? Coz i thought that it wasn't taken seriuosly in this country...e.g my mate try to overdose...doctors laughed at him! (Bastards)
    You are NOT a fuck up as a mum. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    Cheers for support, not that i have actually stopped, but thanks for listening!


    You dont have to thank us for listening, thats why I come here mostly just to try an listen and help people out if I can!
    Cutting is taken seriously here and u can get help but sometime u have to hunt around a bit to find the right people to suit u. Nobody will ever be able to help u untill u decide that u want it for yourself. At the end of the day it is only u that can make a difference. People can advice u and be there when things r really bad but nobody can actually stop u cutting...u r the only one who can do that. From what I gather u r not 100% wanting to stop cutting and I cant force u to get help but I can say that u will never want to stop it 100%. U just have to take note of your sensible side and ignore the side of u that likes what u r doing. The fact that u have come on here and expresed your feeling about cutting tells me that u dont really want to be doing it to yourself. I dont wanna sound mean here so please dont take what Im saying the wrong way...but u r not in control, although u may feel that way. If u r still cutting then there is still an issue and if u feel u cant stop yourself then u r definatly not in control of the situation. All I can hope is that u will get yourself some help because probably wont be able to do it by yourself. Although I do know people who have managed to stop without the help of anyone else. If there r other issues (which there usually is) underneath it all then they r what u need to sort out. The cutting isnt usually the problme, its usually a form of coping with another underlying problem...and thats what u need to get sorted in order to not cut. Please go to your GP and ask for some help or if u feel u cant do that call a helpline or anything, but get yourself some help please <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GOod news. There are so many people to help you. I cut too, and i know how hard it can be to stop go to www.support-group.com and go down to self injury. there is a wonderful bb there where people help you with your everyday problems with cutting. also if you wanna email me my email is fthngod@hotmail.com. I hope things get better for you.=)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TOURETTE! i'm sorry i know u emailed me, but i have been kinda out of it lately don't don't know what i did with your address. sorry if u still want to talk to me i'll be happy to talk to u about my friend umm i'm Darling_Angel on msn feel free to im me anytime

    "Pooh," said Rabit kindly, "you haven't any brain." "I know," said Pooh humbly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Everyone cuts for different reasons, and it really isn't fair to lump people into one demographic.
    tourette ~ I co-moderate a large self injury support forum, the link it in my signature. You are all always welcome to come there and just rant away... it's full of supportive, understanding people and is customised for the purpose.
    ~** Jess

    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://trinitywings.netfirms.com/www.jpg"&gt;
    Self-Injury Support
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