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If someone comes on the boards with a genuine problem I will usually take time to consider a reply. I don't care if they take my advice or discard my advice, because what I think isn't always what's right for them, but to then have the same person come back on a week later and ask the same question is a gigantic slap in the face.
If they aren't even going to bother reading and considering what we've written then they've wasted the time of those who responded the first time. If they're just going to keep asking the same question until they get the answer they want then they've wasted the time of the people who responded the first time.
People may also find it very difficult to ask for support directly, and may be more comfortable asking for it by dressing it up as support. I'm not dismissing how frustrating it can sometimes be, but then again the advice given by anyone may not have helped at all, and they may genuinely feel the need to ask it again.
On the other hand, I don't see this as commonly as you seem to, and only recently in a couple of postings from people who clearly had much more fundamental difficulties beyond the question they may have been obsessing over.
Help given is help given, it's important when working in any area where a person provides advice or support to try to distance the advice they give from a need for a response or for someone to take that advice. It's up to people to make their own choices, even if they go on to fuck up doing the same thing over and over again.
What you or I might percieve as someone's reasons for doing something can differ hugely from their perception or needs, and it can be very important - for the person asking the question - to avoid the trap of trying to rescue someone from their situation, rather than provide advice then can choose to act.
Oh and Fiend, all but two of our moderators (me and Helen) who work in the office work moderation around their daily routine - but usually it's done in addition to their normal work, not simply as part of it.
Lol do you have to keep using that word?!
I think it's only a problem when you get the same person coming back with the same problem all the time. :banghead:
I think she's made it pretty clear if you read through that it's not a dig at particular people, just curiosity.
But for the very reason you give advice (you like helping people I'd assume, rather than you just like to give your opinion on everything
And, if it all gets a bit much, at the end of the day you have no obligation to give advice on those forums, so just hang out in p&d and anything goes (normally aren't so frustrating in the same way as say relationships and sex), then when you see an interesting thread, give a little feedback.
Anyway, it's a good point you brought up briggi but that's the nature of a web forum. I think some individuals in this thread have been harsh, to put it bluntly, which is (I feel) not always appropriate for a web forum with empathy and understanding at it's core 'values'.
Take it easy folks
And that's just what I've done. And so far it's worked .... except maybe for this here thread that I've started that seems to have riled a few people. It really was only started out of curiosity and only a few people have answered the actual question but I don't really mind. I think that if people have become paranoid because of this thread then maybe, just maybe, they should consider why. If they have reason to feel paranoid ...
Well, you know what I'm getting at: If the cap fits and all that. :rolleyes: