question for people who get extremely nervous during sexual activites

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  Being put under pressure to give an Oscar-winning performance usually kills off a man's erection, so it might be best not to say something like that. I think the best way to relax in bed is to spend some time getting to know each other's bodies and not to rush straight into nookie.

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  If I could bottle the necessary mixture of trust, relaxation and confidence then I'd be a multi-billionairess.
  
  I can't, I'm not, you just have to believe that it comes with time and experience.

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  Having the lights off - that way you take away the pressure of worrying about your body or whether you're pulling a funny face or whether your partner is pulling a funny face etc etc.

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  There isn't really much you can do, to be honest, beign intimate with a new person can be a nerve-wracking experience. If you're nervous it gets easier with time, as you realise that your gf isn't going to laugh at your knob and tell her mates that you're shite in bed.

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  I think I need to do the 'knowing them really well, trust and realtionship' thing...

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  Kermit wrote:

  as you realise that your gf isn't going to laugh at your knob

  
  You mean the old "it looked like E.T's finger" line?

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  It's more the "he was hung like a hamster" line...

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  I think it's sometimes hard to get the right balance - it's always good to have a bit of trust before you sleep with someone (to avoid the risk of the aforementioned hamster lines) but then sometime if you build up to it too much then the nerves are bound to kick in.
  
  I'll be honest, I almost always get quite shy and embarrased if I get intimate with somebody new. Once I get going I'm fine and there's probably no reason to be so timid, but I'm guessing it's a confidence and relaxation thing more than anything.

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  **helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster

  January 2007

  Bri-namite wrote:

  
  I'll be honest, I almost always get quite shy and embarrased if I get intimate with somebody new. Once I get going I'm fine and there's probably no reason to be so timid, but I'm guessing it's a confidence and relaxation thing more than anything.

  
  :yes: tis true.
  
  You may find this article on sex with a new partner offers more wise words.
  Have fun and take care

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  drugs and alcohol usually work for me

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  Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

  January 2007

  dan moody wrote:

  drugs and alcohol usually work for me

  
  You probably need them ... oral sex while having a shit. Classy!
  
  On a serious note to the OP, try and set aside enough time for your lovemaking. If you are trying to scramble out a quickie session in a short period of time because of location, parents, flatmates etc, then there is a lot of pressure on you to perform and you may not be able to relax (some people love this kind of pressure but many don't). Make sure you have enough time to just lie there and chat, caress, kiss etc ... so that the lovemaking becomes an end result of the mood rather than a hasty objective.

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