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best friend and drink driving
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is possibly gonna get quite long. I have a best friend whos drinks and drives. I'm not talking about a couple I'm talking about liek 10pints. Everyone has told him how unhappy they are about it and we had a massive arguement over it around halloween yet nothings changed. I'm the closest person to him so its been hardest on me and it (amongst other things) have been causing a few issues. Fast forward to new years eve and I went to bed early giving him my keys and tellin him to come back whenever (the party was next door). He comes and wakes me up at 6am and tells me he's driving home, I said just whatever and he left. I then spend the next few hours worrying and raging so I eventually slept then woke up around lunchtime and text him sayin ' i was up for hours worrying after you left. i cant do this right now, i jus need some space at the moment, take care of yourself'. I then found the reason he left is because he had sex with my new housemate who then told him to come and stay upstairs with me. Bear in mind my new housemate is one of our best friends ex and you can see I'm enraged. Furious. Not only did he do this he didn't tell me. And I'm just expected to excuse his stupid behaviour. Not to mention this is the second one of my friends he's slept with and 4th one he's kissed. I know it's irrational but its really wound me up. Why can't he just stop fucking my friends? Argh it is more complicated but I just needed a general rant/advice. Cheers.
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About your friends though, I don't get why it bothers you he's sleeping with your friends unless you are jealous?? Maybe I've read it wrong.
Im no angel, and have done it a couple of times.
On new years eve/day my best friends bro was asked to go for a drive in his car by a mate. Stupidly (not wanting to seem like a wimp) he grabbed his keys and they went for a drive. You can see whats coming cant you, yes he crashed it rolled and landed in a ditch. Luckily my mates bro was wearing his seatbelt, however his mate wasnt and is now DEAD. In his drunken panicy state, he threw himself infront of a car, and is now in intensive care.
Only he will be able to change his ways, and people can be told 100 times not to do something but wont learn until it happens to them.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
I think it's really difficult to explain the feelings people have when their friend or family member suddenly starts hitting on their mates - there are a flood of worries/emotions you might potentially feel.
1. Yes, might be jealousy
2. Worry for your mates - are they going to be used by your "rampant" :razz: friend - what if one of them gets too attached? - are you going to be left to pick up the pieces?
3. Paranoia - are they only using you as a friend to get to your mates?
4. Worry about them - why are they just going from one person to another -
is it related to low self-esteem?
I'm not saying whether or not any of the above feelings can be validated - just that none of them are unusual or surprising. When friends get it on it can be fabulous, but also potentially a nightmare for the person who introduced them. Girlgunner, with regards to the drink driving, it might be worth printing out TheSite's article for your friend so that he's fully aware of the penalties and is making a completely informed decision if he continues to take such a risk. Then it's actually facts he's getting not just a friend's opinion.
You might also find our article on when mates go bad helpful. Take care.
StrubbleS I think its stems from the drink driving, e.g. he'll use the thing with shagging my new housemate as an excuse as to why he drove home. It's all manner of things, I'm not very good at explaining myself.
I hope that makes more sense.
He might not thank her now, but in the long run he may end up doing so.
They only learn from their own experiences. Which is often at the expense of someone elses life or mobility. People often dont learn from near misses or accidents where they were lucky to be mildly or un-injured, because they think they can get away with it.
You can report them to the police and your friend will never find out it was you. In fact the police probably wouldnt say he was reported.
Drink drivers need to be stopped, do something about it before he ends up killing himself or some poor innocent person. If i was in your position i definatly would because i'd hate to not do anything then regret it after he's had an accident. If he's driving that much over the limit on a regular basis then i think its only a matter of time before he hurts someone.
Do people take lifts with him? If so they should stop too!