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Is it best to stay away?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I met this guy before christmas. Had an amazing chat with him, got on really well, interested in the same things, and then there was the added extra click; you know when you've met someone who's really on your level?
He mentioned then and there that he has a girlfriend of 4 years and although my heart dropped a little, I respected that there was no way I was getting in there. Didn't flirt or try anything on.
Bumped into him on NYE and had another long ,wonderful chat. He'd done some coke and several times said something along the lines of "I know this'll probably sound like the drugs talking but I'm really, really glad I met up with you tonight". His girlfriend was away on holiday with friends and so we spent a lot of the evening together. The next day I got a text asking me out for a drink. I declined, thinking it was best to let a little distance get between us so I wasn't treading on his girlfriend's toes. But I just bumped into him now and agreed to go for a drink tonight. He also mentioned he and his girlfriend broke up just before new year's and he doesn't know where the relationship is going to go (they've split and got back together several times).
Am I being really vain in assuming he feels similarly to me about the way we get on? Or is this drink tonight risky? I don't want to end up feeling more strongly about him or confusing him about how he feels....
He mentioned then and there that he has a girlfriend of 4 years and although my heart dropped a little, I respected that there was no way I was getting in there. Didn't flirt or try anything on.
Bumped into him on NYE and had another long ,wonderful chat. He'd done some coke and several times said something along the lines of "I know this'll probably sound like the drugs talking but I'm really, really glad I met up with you tonight". His girlfriend was away on holiday with friends and so we spent a lot of the evening together. The next day I got a text asking me out for a drink. I declined, thinking it was best to let a little distance get between us so I wasn't treading on his girlfriend's toes. But I just bumped into him now and agreed to go for a drink tonight. He also mentioned he and his girlfriend broke up just before new year's and he doesn't know where the relationship is going to go (they've split and got back together several times).
Am I being really vain in assuming he feels similarly to me about the way we get on? Or is this drink tonight risky? I don't want to end up feeling more strongly about him or confusing him about how he feels....
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However its not entirely inconcievable that meeting you before christmas lead him to reassess the relationship he was in which lead to the breakup and he has genuinely broken up with her etc etc. But then again it strange that he didn't mention that on NYE.
I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand at first but I would do some more diggin tonight before you agree to a second date.
It does seem a bit convenient, but at the same time he told you that he had a gf- if he was trying to get into your knickers and nothing more he'd have simply not mentioned her.
He's on the rebound and wants some loving. That's not to say that he's not a nice guy and all that and that perhaps later something might develop but if he's being truthful, then cool it for a bit.
Yeah I completely trust him on that front - its not that I think he's going to use me because he's absolutely not that type. He hasn't made a move or anything and he said to me today that it was her who ended it and he still loves her. Which is why I think maybe I'm being a bit arrogant thinking there might be something more to this drink.... but then again my judgement of men is often fatally flawed...
That said, if you go into it not expecting too much, I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing.
:yes: or rebound like others have said.