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Ever been with someone just for the sake of it?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Starting to feel like I'm just with this guy who is crazy about me for the sake of it...I mean i like him alot and I can see a future together at a stretch, but right now it just feels like we're together for the sake of being together...
Anyone else had a similar exp.?
Anyone else had a similar exp.?
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Comments
Are you on the rebound?
I went out with a guy for a bit last year and although he was a lovely guy and was really into me, my heart wasn't in it and in the end it all fell apart.
Hang in there a bit, you might come to realise how much he means to you but if you don't just let him go.
Are you saying there is passion and fun but other things are not so good? If that is what you mean, we might be able to offer more help knowing what the other things are? If you don't mean that at all then I think I'm slightly confused.
ETA: Perhaps you just feel that you're not ready to commit to a relationship and feel you could be doing other more interesting things with your time? I think what PK said makes sense
Being with a bloke who is crazy about you should be wildly fun and exhilirating and make you the happiest person alive. The fact that it doesn't [and that his "craziness" about you is being held in a negative light] speaks volumes. You don't have to settle for someone with whom you can see a future "at a stretch", you're not doing yourself justice if you live that way... and it's not exactly fair to him either.
He doesnt want me to save up for a flat because he's supposed to be getting a place, and wants me to move in, but sometimes he just wont get off his arse and push things forward.
He's a pie in the sky kinda guy (oooh check out that rhyming), he wants loadsa things, but wont make the effort to get them. I've told him all this, but its just excuses. For example: He has no job, and complains about no money. I suggest that he go onto Jobseekers while he searches- he said no because he's living at his parents, and plus he doesnt know how to work computers. He has depends on other people to hook him up with jobs and get him applications and all sorts, but wont go and use resources.
It really drives me up the wall because everything is lumbered on me and thats when the routine comes in.
I'm having to pay for everything everytime I'm going crazy and want to go out somewhere with him, i'm ending up skint or we dont go anywhere for months on end besides mine, his or his sisters.
I feel bad though because even though through all this bullshit, he's always been there for me when I was depressed and going through some shit. Now that he's going through it, I feel like im being a coward for feeling like I want to back away.
I do really love him and besides from all of this, its been great. The feelings for each other haven't really changed, and the prospect for the future is there and waiting, but this its all kinda fucked right now...
Sometimes you really do have to be cruel to be kind, so although this will sound dreadfully cold and bitchy I would give him the flick if that's what you feel will make you happy. Even if you don't, please don't let him stop you from saving for your own place... definite characteristic of a very downtrodden person is that they may try and drag you down with them. I mean, is there any realistic chance of him getting his own place in the near future, anyway?
Yeah in blunt terms that what its becoming...
Dunno, it all depends on how he wants to go about it. He dont wanna stay at his parents (understandably), but he just bitches. He did register as homeless when he had a fight with his dad, but they turned him down on medical grounds (which he didnt apply on- cheers tower hamlets), and now he's just even more sullen and depressed, with even less motivation to do anything.
I really do feel like giving him a kick up the arse, but its a situation that aint gonna get better quickly- its not like when he gets the place, he's magically happy again and our sex life comes back (seriously died when i was miserable, and has died a second death now he's depressed)...
Dunno what to do at all. I love him and wanna stick by, but its making me feel so shit about it all...
It's really important to keep communicating and don't bottle anything up. In terms of loss of sexual desire, this Q&A from the askTheSite archive - argued away desire may be relevant for you.