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dealing with a shy person on a date??? urgent, advice needed for tonight!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ways to break the ice? make the other person more relaxed and chatty, and less quiet??
im a bubbly friendly person, even if im shy, il chat away loads+ask questions about the other person....but the guy im seeing tonight is quiet+shy and i dont know how to cope with it!
advice please!!!
thank you
L+C
im a bubbly friendly person, even if im shy, il chat away loads+ask questions about the other person....but the guy im seeing tonight is quiet+shy and i dont know how to cope with it!
advice please!!!
thank you
L+C
0
Comments
Haha! :razz: Yeah, that can help... I certainly get more talkative if tipsy... but I also do really stupid things, which might not be so good on a date.
Well... If you know he's shy beforehand at least if he's really quiet you know why... Just ask him a few questions so he doesn't have to worry about what to say... If I'm feeling shy and quiet it's usually because I'm thinking 'shit shit shit I cannot think of one single thing to say! shit shit shit!' It's much easier if the other person leads the coversation.
I went out with a quiet guy a few weeks ago. I'm very chatty and just kept talking...um ask him lots of questions, easy stuff about his friends and family. Or do something like an activity such as going on the arcade games/playing pool as then you are actually doing something and don't have to constantly talk.
Give them a chance. If it continues like that and it seems like they are making no effort then move on. Just slip him a shot of vodka or something maybe as well.
Well are you making ALL the moves? Is he showing any interest at all? Who asked who out?
:eek2: I'm sure you meant this in jest, but just erm slightly dodgy methinks.
PussyKatty has given some sound advice - just give him a chance, keep asking questions (although I now it can be frustrating) and see how it goes
Lol, no need for sexism. Some men are shy and so are some women. My mate set me up with this girl a few weeks back. We all went out together and she said like 2 words. I thought, fair enough, first time nerves. Then I went round her place and it had to be one of the most awkward night's of my life. She might have said 1 word but I can't really remember! Finally we all went out together again, and I made an extra extra effort to cheer her up and bring her out her shell and still so little response. At the end of the night her mate told me that she really liked me, but was just a little shy. Well there's shy and there's plain ridiculous. I'd given it my best, and given it a bit of time, but I couldn't suffer anymore of that. If she liked me, I reckon even a complete introvert could have tried harder than that. My point - give him a bit of time, but if he's still helpless after a few dates, move on...
luke, i apologise for the sexism, i dint mean it that way. im just abit traditional i guess+am new to the whole dating scene, so im just learning my way! That girl does sounds extremely shy. im the kind of girl though who likes to chat and laugh with a person, and i cant laugh at my own jokes, can i?
As well as some kind of obvious ones you could talk about christmas telly, what they got for chrismas, whats in the news today, what films you have both seen recently, what your top 10 songs are, where do you like to go shopping. Its suprising how much time you can spend talking about stuff thats on the surface quite normal.
The other option would be to do something like going to the cinema or bowling which means your not talking all the time and which gives you something to talk about later on in the evening...
Well said, I'm the same myself and couldn't agree more.
Hehe yeah I was taking the piss
haha, no apology needed. 'Twas meant jokingly. Yeah she was VERY shy. Part of me feels bad that I couldn't be arsed, but then, we've all been dealt a crap hand at some point. Really, if he likes you, and it sounds like he does, there shouldn't be to much of a problem - he'll come out his shell.
Billy Connoly laughs at his own jokes, but no, I wouldn't recommend it! If you like to chat and laugh though, you're definately on the right track. :thumb:
deepfathom, your post made me , thank you!
Take the lead.. a shy guy does not want to make the decision. Make suggestions e.g. drinking a few alcoholic beverages. If you suggest something give him more options, so he does not have to say 'no', but is able to choose between more. Like... "do you want to watch a movie? or rather go out?... maybe you wanna play a round of twister!!?!?".
If you want to improve the situation between you crank down the heat a few notches and bring a blanket to cuddle a bit during a movie. Make the decision! Don't let him have to ask for anything.
That's the way to go.
Whatever happened to girls who are absolutely unresponsive when you chase them and don't let you know if they like you back, not before you have to take together all your courage and feel like a plonk by drawing them a diagram of how you like them more than just a friend and then fucking fail?
Jesus, I wish someone would chase me once...
LMAO
I clicked on that because I was curious and scrolled down the page looking at the various titles.
Amongst my favourites are 'how to':
Date a 'Stoner'
Date a Thug
Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games
Get Your Overly Sensitive, Emo Boyfriend to Dump You
but the best title of all has to be
How to: Break up With Your Imaginary Girlfriend
Must be a tough one to go through, that.
Be wary.
Tbh I can't be bothered with "shy" people (because most are just lazy or like the attention), would rather go out with somebody secure enough to be forward and honest.