If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Playing hard to get
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Exciting and important or irritating and a waste of time?
A friend of mine and I were chatting the other day and she said that the reason lots of guys are interested in me but nothing usually happens past the first few dates is that I'm 'too honest about emotions'and get frustrated by game-playing. If I like a guy, I won't hide it. I like flirting and I don't see the point in trying to create some air of mystery and intrigue just to make them frustrated enough to chase me. And similarly, if they're not showing much interest in me, I won't bother following it up because I assume that it'll be a waste of time.
However, my friend thinks if I'm interested in a guy I shouldn't call him for a couple of days and delay replying to texts for a few hours every time I hear from him. Otherwise, apparently, he'll get bored because there's no 'chase'.
Opinions? Do you play hard to get and enjoy it when others do? Or do you think it amounts to childish games and lack of honesty?
A friend of mine and I were chatting the other day and she said that the reason lots of guys are interested in me but nothing usually happens past the first few dates is that I'm 'too honest about emotions'and get frustrated by game-playing. If I like a guy, I won't hide it. I like flirting and I don't see the point in trying to create some air of mystery and intrigue just to make them frustrated enough to chase me. And similarly, if they're not showing much interest in me, I won't bother following it up because I assume that it'll be a waste of time.
However, my friend thinks if I'm interested in a guy I shouldn't call him for a couple of days and delay replying to texts for a few hours every time I hear from him. Otherwise, apparently, he'll get bored because there's no 'chase'.
Opinions? Do you play hard to get and enjoy it when others do? Or do you think it amounts to childish games and lack of honesty?
0
Comments
its the same with girls really because i like a guy texting me all the time etc. and being sweet but one of my mates (also a girl) hates that kind of thing so i guess you have to know the guy well enough to know which he prefers.
When I met my current boyfriend, we were both pretty keen on each other from the outset, so there was no discomfort in wanting to see each other often etc.
Deliberatley playing hard to get is a sign of arrogance and being up yourself - which IMO is just as much a turn off as being clingy and over keen.
Just be honest and grow up.
I admit I am intruiged by men who I can't get hold of all the time, and definitely turned off by the ones who hang around like a bad smell. Of course, you have to be able to get hold of the former at some point, or that's when it starts to get frustrating... not to mention pointless.
*though I probably amn't
See I'm quite hard to get hold sometimes cause I don't always reply to texts or phone people back straight away. But that's just down to sheer ignorance (get it from my Dad) rather than playing games or anything.
But you can't appear as if you're obsessed with him/her. Not until you've been for quite a long time in the relationship.
I hate playing games. This is not roulette or poker.
If there is anything more on-turning than a girl coming up to you, introducing herself and commence in conversation I don't know.
Don't get me wrong, I am not the passive type either, but I love it, when girls take the opportunity from time to time themselves.
Nothing more frustrating than playing games.
either I like that girl and I give her the hot-cold treatment and in the end confusing her and ruining my chances
or a girl likes me and does it to me and I forget about it, because she seems inacessible.
Sometimes playing games might work, if you want success just be forward and inviting (beware from being clingy tho).
This is just, because you wouldn't have a lot of problem to get most men, I reckon
So why not settle for the ones, where it actually makes a difference: Those who are hardly accessible.
However, if you don't want to change then don't. There are other people like you, just not as many but you will find.
Definitely.
I play hard a liiiiiiiiittle. But if I like you, you'll know. Haha. Luckily I'm seeing a lad the now who likes me muchachas so much that I converted him to a Boosh fan, and he's converted me to start reading like a biatch again. Tee hee.
I dunno, it entirely depends on the person but a bit of chase doesn't hurt anyone, honestly.
ETA: Oh wow, Uber Poster. That's good innit.
That is the meanest thing ever
I don't like game playing. I find it very hard to tell whether someone likes me in any case and tend to assume he doesn't unless he makes it blindingly obvious, so anything that introduces doubt into the equation is just going to make me think he's not interested. On the other hand I probably come across as playing hard to get a lot of the time because I don't respond to flirting or whatever, but that's because I don't realise the guy is flirting rather than because I'm trying to play games. I've been single for a very long time so from that I can assume that guys don't like game playing either.
Me too, people have played games with me before. To be fair I just walk away now, or play them back.
Oh, I thought you meant when it is a conscious effort, when they know you like them and they enjoy the attention they get from you if they flirt with you, but then they back off for a bit because they're not really interested in you. So they're playing games with you, but rather than it simply being playing hard to get because they want to attract you, it's playing hard to get because you never are going to get them. You agree that's mean, right?