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Drunken Cheating?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6/7 weeks now. Although its not that long it seems quite serious, we spend a lot of time together and it seems to mean a lot to both of us.
On friday night though,I found out he might have cheated on me. He said he was really drunk on thursday night (I wasn't there) and was talking to this girl who we've argued over already - one night a few weeks ago he spent almost the whole night flirting with her and hardly speaking to me. He says on thursday he remembers dancing with her and nearly kissing her but then stopping. But he can't remember anything after this. The next morning he got a text from her saying 'we were naughty last night!' He was really nice to me on friday but then told me this late on friday night and I don't know what to think. He says he'd remember if he kissed her, but I don't see why she'd send a message like that if they were just dancing (although thats bad enough). He's been very apologetic about it and seems like he means it. He said it was just because he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, but I dont know if I should break up with him or not, as I don't know if he kissed her or not? He's texted her and asked what happened but had no reply. I want to trust him again becuase theres a possibility nothing happened..but I know that if he goes out without me then I'll be wondering if he's going to cheat on me. He might not have kissed her..should I give him another chance?
On friday night though,I found out he might have cheated on me. He said he was really drunk on thursday night (I wasn't there) and was talking to this girl who we've argued over already - one night a few weeks ago he spent almost the whole night flirting with her and hardly speaking to me. He says on thursday he remembers dancing with her and nearly kissing her but then stopping. But he can't remember anything after this. The next morning he got a text from her saying 'we were naughty last night!' He was really nice to me on friday but then told me this late on friday night and I don't know what to think. He says he'd remember if he kissed her, but I don't see why she'd send a message like that if they were just dancing (although thats bad enough). He's been very apologetic about it and seems like he means it. He said it was just because he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, but I dont know if I should break up with him or not, as I don't know if he kissed her or not? He's texted her and asked what happened but had no reply. I want to trust him again becuase theres a possibility nothing happened..but I know that if he goes out without me then I'll be wondering if he's going to cheat on me. He might not have kissed her..should I give him another chance?
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Comments
He does seem guilty about it and the fact he's trying to make it up to you surely says something. Also the fact that he was honest with you about it, he could have said nothing. But then like has just been said, he could see it as a way out. Only you can make the decision, he does seem quite sorry though.
i would be prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, not let him get away with it lightly of course, but i wouldnt let it end a serious relationship. Take into consideration the likelyhood it would happen again though, maybe it could have been worse if you werent there?
do you know the girl in question, seems a bit out of order her still texting him the next day.
To be blunt if he's going to go out, get slaughtered and not be able to control or remember who he has been dancing with or - possibly - getting off with then I think you would be in a constant whirlwind of anxiety and mistrust everytime he went out on the lash without you. To add into the equation the fact that he would chat her up when you are there makes him sound like a total bellend, I'm amazed you didn't tell him to get gone after that little performance!
I'm very cynical about this kind of situation these days, and there definitely are other people on here who would be more willing to give the benefit of the doubt... but if I were you or if I was advising any of my friends then I would say dump him and don't look back.
I remained 100% faithful to my ex of 3 years despite being in a long distance relationship (for the last year and half) and was out getting pissed all the time at Uni.
My advice would be...get out of that relationship now. There are better guys out there.
If you see this relationship going somewhere, then yeah, forgive him. If not, then time to end it, before it gets any further.
Personally, I'd be very annoyed and probably get rid.
I mean, I've been seriously hammered on many occasions but I've never done anything without know what I was doing...
Depends on many factors doesn't it. Your mood, your weight, if you've eaten etc.
If your out drinking without eating before hand (like I normally do) and you really go for it, the chances are you'll not remember shit. For me, I'll fall asleep and not remember getting on the train home - Sure, you can remember touching/dancing with a girl, but you might not recall going that one step further (like having her tits out etc)
Anyway with regard to the OP - If you've lost trust in this guy end it now. It seems he's being honest with you. Now whether the honesty is from fear of you finding out 2nd hand of the nights events, and him not being able to put a spin on the story, or from him being generally sorry, who knows?
I do know I suffer from blackouts from drinking too much!! The most annoying thing is doing stuff with pretty girl and not knowing you've done it, cos you've been so pissed your mind can't function properly. :banghead: Flashback are also a right fucker! :shocking:
I think give him another chance - least now your more aware of the risk.
It is your choice whether or not to forgive him and give hiim another chance, but by doing so you only give him yet another chance to go out and cheat on you once again and hurt you further.
What he's done is break what trust you had developed and that's a hard thing to get back, everytime he goes out your going to think " i wonder ".
It's a tough choice but ultimately one you have to make yourself.