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Computers and Flatmates
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've just moved into a flat (about 3 weeks ago) with a guy who already lives there. On Saturday, a new girl moved in. Both me and the guy have our own computers, except his is a laptop which he keeps and uses in his room, and mine is a PC, which is in the living room, as my room is too small to keep it in.
Anyway, last night, the new girl asked if she could just check her emails on my computer. I said that was fine and got up to let her use it. She said that it was ok, she'd use it later. I said that it was fine for her to use it then. She then said she'd use it when I'd gone to bed and turn it off for me. I obviously had an unimpressed look on her face, as she then asked if that was ok. I said no, I'd rather she used it now. She looked pretty pissed off and used it. She didn't talk to me at all after that and didn't reply when I said goodnight later on.
I'm not really sure how to handle it. I find my computer a really personal thing, it has a lot of personal stuff on it, and I don't like the thought of someone I don't know using it when I'm not around.
I just sort of want to know what other people think of it, do you feel the same about your computers, or do you think I'm being silly?
I was talking to a friend about it this morning, who suggested setting up a guest account that she can use, but I'm not particularly keen on that idea. I've only just got my computer back after months of having to use other peoples (and hating it, as I feel I am intruding on their privacy too), and I don't want to get into something where she considers it to be her computer too, and I have to wait to use my own computer.
Anyway, any thoughts would be good!
Anyway, last night, the new girl asked if she could just check her emails on my computer. I said that was fine and got up to let her use it. She said that it was ok, she'd use it later. I said that it was fine for her to use it then. She then said she'd use it when I'd gone to bed and turn it off for me. I obviously had an unimpressed look on her face, as she then asked if that was ok. I said no, I'd rather she used it now. She looked pretty pissed off and used it. She didn't talk to me at all after that and didn't reply when I said goodnight later on.
I'm not really sure how to handle it. I find my computer a really personal thing, it has a lot of personal stuff on it, and I don't like the thought of someone I don't know using it when I'm not around.
I just sort of want to know what other people think of it, do you feel the same about your computers, or do you think I'm being silly?
I was talking to a friend about it this morning, who suggested setting up a guest account that she can use, but I'm not particularly keen on that idea. I've only just got my computer back after months of having to use other peoples (and hating it, as I feel I am intruding on their privacy too), and I don't want to get into something where she considers it to be her computer too, and I have to wait to use my own computer.
Anyway, any thoughts would be good!
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Comments
My advice : Create a new profile and restrict it
But if you don't want to let someone use your PC when you're not there, then that's your choice and no one can say anything about it.
maybe ask her if she has plans to buy her own computer?
does she pay towards the internet connection?
At home with my family I do let them go on but only for limited amounts of time... there are enough computers to go around anyway!
I think she should respect your property and your decision, in no way are you obliged to let her use it, and she shouldn't expect to be allowed use of it. It's a priveledge, not a right afterall.
Technically, I guess she does pay towards internet, as we each pay the same amount every month, one lump sum to cover rent and bills. However, I would be quite happy to pay more for internet, or for her to pay less for not having internet if she's not able to use it through lack of a computer. It's not up to me though, it's up to the guy we live with, as he sorts all the bills and he's who we pay our lump sum to.
I will see how she is tonight anyway, will just go in and say hello and stuff as normal and see how she is. I think ultimately, I will leave it for now though, not give her a guest account or anything, at least until I know her a bit better... it's only been three days, after all!
If she's going to go in a big huff about it then I'd be even less inclined to go out of my way to set up guest accounts etc. Just see how she is while you're getting to know her... play it by ear
Yeah, or relationships... this is why I put it into anything goes to begin with... I got all indecisive about where it should go! Thanks Helen
Briggi, yeah, it's definitely more about the fact that I've only just met her, I wouldn't be nearly so stressed about a friend using it, or having a guest account. I think I got a bit annoyed that she was pissed off about it too... like shyboy said, I'm not under any obligation to let her use it, so I feel she should respect my wishes.
Go on everyone. Turn your keyboards upside down. I dare you.
yes, in your opinion.
in my opinion the girl has only been there 3 days and is already asking/demanding to make use of other peoples property. which in my books is a tad cheeky.
Yes, I have no objection to her checking her emails occasionally if I'm around, she did check them last night, and it was the me going to bed and leaving it on for her that I objected to. To be honest, at the time I didn't think I needed to offer any explanation for why I found it uncomfortable to go off to bed and leave my computer completely open and for all to use. She also had a friend round at the time, so leaving my computer on also left it open to abuse by two people I don't know.
As for the off thing, I do agree, she may not have been off at all, which is why I'm going to see how she is tonight when I get back and try and be friendly and welcoming. However, I did get vibes that she wasn't particularly happy with me, when she'd finished checking her emails, she didn't say thank you or anything, and I said goodnight later on and she didn't reply (the friend who was with her did say goodnight), when she has always responded fairly positively before.
And it's not a tad cheeky for lipsy to call someone she doesn't even know and is getting a second hand report on from someone who barely knows her a bitch?
Don't really want to risk someone downloading a virus or anything. Same with my friend he don't really want to risk his 9 year old son messing up his own PC.
As well as having all my personal stuff on there.
However it's only the hard drive that contains all the settings and personal info.
Without that your PC is just a paper weight.
If all she wants to do is use the internet you could perhaps use a Live CD which is an entire operating system which runs off a CD or DVD Disk
http://www.knoppix.org/
Then she'd be able to surf and check emails and it woouldn't tough your hard drive. of course she could still have a nose around your personal files.
That made me giggle !
I don't like anyone using my account on this computer now, even family and friends, so I fully agree with you wanting to monitor her usage.
Even with guest accounts things aren't safe. One housemate of mine used the guest account to download porn...she downloaded good porn, though, so I was willing to forgive;)
By having the computer set up in a shared area of the house it would be easy for her to assume that you were quite open to other people using it. Lots of people don't see their computers as as deeply personnal things (like a diary) but simply as a bit of kit (more like a kettle or tv). I suspect it has never crossed her mind that using your computer could feel as an intrusion of your personnal life and it would never cross her mind to touch your files or even look at your favourites; in which case it could easily seem to her that you just don't trust her not to turn it off properly or something like that.
It's a privilege for her to use your property. If that comes with restrictions, then so be it.
You let her use it as a favour. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to use it
Otherwise I think it's fair enough really that she only uses it when you're about. It is yours after all.
That's what me was thinking too, cos t's in a public shared area she might have thought it would be for everyone to use.
At Uni my microwave was in the kitchen and people were welcome to use it - what pissed me off was that most people totally made one hell of a mess though and never cleaned the insides.
I think you should just talk to her and explain how you feel about it BUT be willing to set her a guest account up, theres no way she can see your files or install stuff then. If she's ok with the guest account shes probably a decent person and is probably didnt want to offend you in anyway at all.