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Any funny sex storys?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    She laughed and walked out. But the thing is..she NEVER knocks. Gr

    And thats the reason I NEVER have sex at my parents place.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my mate got home one day and his mum had put pillows behind his headboard!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Once was getting a hand job off my missus and it needed a bit of lube so off she trots to quickly find something suitable.
    She finds this massage cream stuff.
    We carry on, im thinking 'this is great'...que 30 seconds later, my dick feels as though its on fire so i rush off to the bathroom and the cold tap.
    What was this mystery massage cream? thats right, a cheap version of deep heat. :grump:

    Another story(different time): Me and same girl decide to try a bit of oral avec popping candy. Word of warning - THESE DO NOT MIX! This time it was her running to the bathroom :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    freeallangels19 wrote:
    And thats the reason I NEVER have sex at my parents place.
    My mum doesn't come in my room when the boy is over. She just shouts up the stairs and stuff. Oh yes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    my mate got home one day and his mum had put pillows behind his headboard!

    haha thats one way of telling him to shut up! I dont have any.....:( the closest ive got to beng caught was the cat coming in half way through....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jenni30 wrote:
    haha thats one way of telling him to shut up! I dont have any.....:( the closest ive got to beng caught was the cat coming in half way through....

    Thats horrible as well feels very wrong being on the job with a pet having a look!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    My mum doesn't come in my room when the boy is over. She just shouts up the stairs and stuff. Oh yes.

    My mum would just walk in without checking, shes very annoying like that. No-one knocks to come into my room ever.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    freeallangels19 wrote:
    My mum would just walk in without checking, shes very annoying like that. No-one knocks to come into my room ever.
    That's what they usually do, but when boy is here, everybody knocks ;d.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow. funny stuff. I can't t hink of anythign amusing. Will say that I've accepted an offer to go back to a playroom/dungeon and had the best time of my life :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullseye wrote:
    Not personally but a story i heard from a mate, who wont tell me which of our friends it is that it happened to, is that She took a bloke home with her and got way more then she bargained for. Apparently he had a huge cock and kept her at it all night, like 6 times or more for hours and hours. Then she woke in morning and found she had shit herself, so she got up, washed herself, then rolled him onto her side of the bed into her shit so when he woke up he thought he had done it and left the flat in shame.

    Not exactly the same, and well..from my PoV not that funny, but hey...

    Same kinda thing happened to me the first time i had anal sex with my ex-boyfriend...he was rather well endowed too...anyway we had sex and then curled up in bed and went to sleep...when i woke up in the morning found out that i'd shit myself...not badly but still...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Quite a few years ago now, I was at a friends house trying to kill some time by reading some random magazine - forget what it was, might have been Bizarre

    Anyway, one of the features was a review of various dildo's etc (don't ask)
    and one of them was called 'The Fanny Hammer'.

    Skip forwards a few days when me and my then gf were having sex, and for some strange reason, while I was going at her like a battering ram, my mind made the connection of me and previously mentioned sex aid 'Fanny Hammer' I burst out laughing... I couldn't really explain what I was laughing at to my gf - it was probably one of those 'you had to have been there moments'
    lipsy wrote:
    my mate shagged his girl up the bum for the first time and she pooed on him diorreah style :sour:


    This seems to be the standard thing that happens...

    click here for the story
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My god, do none of you people know how to wash first?
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