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whats the matter with me?

SystemSystem Posts: 8,600 Community Managers
hey again people

I dunno whats the matter with me. I've just been ignoring it but now its really bothering me.

Things went bad with me and a squeeze, I finally accepted that I didn't do anything wrong accept go about telling her the wrong way.

She reacted in a really bitchy way which led to making me miserable (however, I think her mates got involved) so I just 'disappeared' and left her alone. (Hell, I felt so guilty I apologised to her!).

Despite all this, I still care a little about her and still think about her a fair bit and strangely enough, I have dreams about the things that happened and recently had one about her snogging a girl.

I wanna know what it means, why am I still thinking about her? Why can't I feel the same about other girls and why do I still care for her? I just want to be really happy again before all this happened.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go about telling her the wrong way? what did u tell her?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not exactly what I said, more of the way I let her know,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, so now i understand
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah u answered my question with the answer i wanted
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doh - you could have told her she was a fat heffer - but in a really nice way for all i know
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh you wanna know what I said, all I basically said was that I liked her for a while and then gave her some compliments.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you can tell someone something like that in a bad way, if she liked you she would have been happy. Sounds like she doesn't so fuck her if she wants to be a bitch.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thing is though, I picked to do in a note (don't ask why, long fucking story)
    still doesn't give her the right to be a bitch.
    I thought she was interested but she was just giving fake signals to boost her ego.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if you know shes not interested then you just have to try and get over her then dont you? thinking about her and dreaming about her is perfectly normal but you just have to deal with it really i spose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am, Its just that it annoys me that I still think about her when I don't want to and she's still got a grip that irritates me. Oh well. no use crying over spilt milk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i sometimes start dreaming about my last boyfriend soemtimes even though im totally not interested in him and i was the one that dumped him. its just because he was the last one and so freshest in my mind. the best thing is to just snap yourself out of it. you never actually went out with this girl anyway did you? so its all fantasy anyway. it will pass when you start to think about other girls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am trying to snap myself out of it and so far its working but I keep getting reminders about her. Before all I cared about is what if she hates me? now its more like why am I still thinking about her? As you said, it was fantasy but thats what happens when you get infatuated with someone, you think you know what their all about then... you get the idea.

    As for liking other girls, truth be told I haven't met or seen any that interest me and if I do find one their taken. anyway after this happened I try not to try it on with girls anymore to prevent anymore slip ups.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow. that was a nice post from you matt!

    anyway, its not that I don't like her, I still carry a torch (well its more of a match stick) for her. Its just I don't want her to hate me for telling her I liked her. I did apologise to her and kept her away from her. The question is why do I still care for her, do I need closure because for one thing if she doesn't want to hear from me and I keep bugging her I could get in real trouble.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I was in a very similar state some years ago, although in my case she had reason to hate me (irrelevant here). I'm not sure what I did to get over it, but it took me several years...
    In the end I realised I had actually grown afraid of her, so I just did my best to try and explain the whole story to her. She didn't want to listen, but just the attempt might have helped me.
    At about the same time though, I got to know someone else that I liked much more. So I don't know which it was that helped, but something did.

    Sorry if there's nothing helpful to you in the ramble above.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    actually I can relate with you there.

    When you tried to explain the story but you owed no explanation, thats the story with the apology, I did that on my own because she made me guilty for liking her and just made me numb.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thing is though, I picked to do in a note (don't ask why, long fucking story)
    still doesn't give her the right to be a bitch.
    I thought she was interested but she was just giving fake signals to boost her ego.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
    I did that in highschool a number of times. IT DOES NEVER WORK.

    I know it's the easy way,... the easiest way TO FAIL!
    Make the effort... hop over your shadow. Nobody wants someone who is too chicken to say it in person or AT LEAST on the phone, except she had the hots for you for ages....

    omg, jooohhnnnnnn!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well unfortunately thats what I did
    do I regret it: Hell yes

    Not just because she said no but just for the fact that she's got a piece of evidence that says "this bloke is a dickhead" which she will always remember me as, thats what I hate. I expected her to keep quiet but being a scenester she "needs attention" and this was just what she needed. anyway fuck that, I did it, its done, its over, the ONLY comfort I get from this is that I had the guts to tell her how I felt. I have to file this under "well it seemed like a good idea at the time". Trouble is it doesn't make me feel any better, even after I apologised, I wanted to wash out my mouth. Its not the event itself that bothers me, its the reminders/memories I get from it that haunt me.

    No need to reply, just saying whats on my mind.
    if anyone's gonna slate me then don't bother I've heard it all already.

    Thats better...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No need to reply, just saying whats on my mind.
    if anyone's gonna slate me then don't bother I've heard it all already.

    Thats better...

    Do you think she's sat at home distraught that she's upset you?

    No.

    End of the day, it's one girl who's obviously not returned your feelings, and she's rubbed your nose in it a bit. It's not nice, but you'll have a lot more ups and downs to come in the relationships that'll you'll have, so the bottom line is not to let it become more than it actually is.

    You can either torture yourself about it (because that is what you're doing), or you can put it down to experience and try and move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, im trying really hard, but its awful hard to forget. This has made me feel better. Don't mean to torture myself but when it gets in my head its hard to forget about it.

    im tired and going to bed
    Thanks for the replies and not slating me, I appreciate it.
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