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Fuck, just, fuck.

MixBotMixBot Posts: 8,656 Automated Account
GAWD. JUST GAWD.

I saw a dead man tonight, a man who got murdered.

No doubt it will be in the news tomorrow. Reporters were all over the place tonight.

My hands are fucking shaking still just thinking about it.

I left my flat at 7.25pm tonight to go to work. I was due in work at half seven. I usuaully leave at this time but I intended to leave earlier because I needed to pop into Source to see my hours and speak to a manager. Well anyways, I was running about 15 minutes late because I couldn't find my flat keys. On the way to work, on my normal journey to work, I saw 2 ambulances. Then I saw these paramedics trying to revive this guy. His face was completely smashed in, like, completely smashed in. There was blood all over him. From what I saw, my best guess is that he middle aged, 35-40 maybe but his face was in such a mess, maybe I'm wrong. I was told an hour later that he had died.

All night I've been wondering if I could have done something IF I had left my flat on time. If I left my flat on time, maybe I could have done something to help this guy, maybe I could have prevented whoever did this doing this to him. However, what if I did walk into it and I got attacked too? Theres two ways of looking at it really. I just feel angry and upset. Why didn't I just look after my keys and leave on time? Maybe I could have stopped this happening. Maybe they/them wouldn't have attacked this guy if there was people about.

Where he was attacked is literally on my doorstop but METRES away from where I work. This guy was murdered on the path alongside the left side on the student union. He was murdered on the student campus, in a university car park. I just can't get my head around it at all. I nearly had a panic attack on the journey home from work just thinking about it.

I had a police officer ask me if I had seen anything odd/strange whilst I was working to work and whether I saw anything that happened. I didn't see a thing. I was running late. What if I wasn't running late? Maybe I would have seen who had done this and help the police catch them. CRIES.

I feel so incredibly guilty. Just WHAT IF I left the flat when I intended to?

CRIES.

There is reporters everywhere. We were given strict instructions by our manager not to say anything to them and if they did want to speak to someone, to direct them to security. A few others from work saw the scene too.

I had a break later on in the night and went outside to get some air. Outside there was about 5 police vans and the whole area is cordoned off. There is so many police. On my break I saw this little white tent along with people wrapping things up and putting them in the police van. Forensics I guess. There is police tape literally everywhere. JUST, FUCK.

Why the fuck do people do things like this?! It makes me so fucking angry. He could be a father with a fucking family. He could be a mature student. STUFF LIKE THIS SHOULDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN. Why the fuck is there people out there like this? What on earth makes them what to do these things?

I can't get that image of his face out of my head. Cries. He was such a mess and he's fucking dead. I just can't help but wonder how he might still be alive or how I could help catch his killer if I just left my fucking flat on time.

The world is a fucking shit place.

Sorry for posting this here. I just need to rant, I feel rather alone right now as my flat mates are all away (although I have already put it in my journal but like, yeh)
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats some heavy stuff!! And like you say, you may of got attacked and maybe even ended up dead yourself!

    How did you know he was murdered?

    RIP the poor guy!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm assuming he was murdered.

    He was almost certainly attacked. He was a complete and utter state.

    I was told a hour later he died so like yeah, thats murder in my eyes.

    I suppose it will be on the news tomorrow though and then I'll know more.

    There was so many police though, forensic people, reporters. It was all mental.

    I'm just hoping so fucking much that the CCTV in the area catches whoever did this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's some fucked up shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel sorry for you.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/5253592.stm

    That is a close friend of mines brother, I was out with her the night it happened. Fucking tragic and horrible.

    It took TWO MONTHS for them to release the body for the cremation which I attended last week (first time at a funeral as well) - I had only met him once and I still spent the whole time in tears, its fucking horrendeous. Bastards.
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 Incredible Poster
    I've already left a comment on your LJ.

    Chin up! <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like Mako said, and not wanting to cause you any further angst, IF you'd left 15 minutes early it could of been you that got attacked.

    It's easy for us to say not to feel guilty or anything, but you really shouldn't. It's just the way life pans out sometime and something like this, when it's close to home, can show us how vulnerable we can be.

    Spose i'm saying it's the way life is. Shit i know, but it happens. Hope you're feeling better soon. XxX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote:
    Like Mako said, and not wanting to cause you any further angst, IF you'd left 15 minutes early it could of been you that got attacked.

    It's easy for us to say not to feel guilty or anything, but you really shouldn't. It's just the way life pans out sometime and something like this, when it's close to home, can show us how vulnerable we can be.

    Spose i'm saying it's the way life is. Shit i know, but it happens. Hope you're feeling better soon. XxX

    Totally agreed.

    *hugs* though babe, I can imagine it's shaken you up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its a horrible image you see in your head. I wouldn't go blaming yourself either, it wasn't you fault you was held up.

    It brings me back to the time when I was on my paper round at age 14, some man came of his bike and went head first under a lorry wheel. Fortunately for me, I didn't see it happen as I was looking the other way, but I cant begin to imagine how I would have coped with it if I saw it.

    If it is bothering you with what you saw, perhaps you could see someone about it, like a consular.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't blame yourself for something that was totally out of our control.

    For your own safety it was probably for the best you was late, you could have got yourself hurt if you had seen it happen.

    No one deserves to die but maybe and a BIG maybe the victim had killed someone the muderer knew and you know "a life for a life". Just a thought, stupid one i know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/6050834.stm

    Thats all there is at the minute.

    He was found at 7.15pm. I was meant to leave my flat at 10 past.

    Sigh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Realistically if he was found at 1915 even if you had left your flat at 10 past you would have been too late, only thing you may have done is found him instead of something else.

    You need to try and stop thinking of all the what ifs, there are hundreds of what ifs that apply to every moment in life. Things happen and there is nothing you can do about most of them. PM me if you like, you've had a nasty shock and it's understandable that you're upset. By all means keep an eye on the news, but try not to live and breathe it.

    If I hadn't dawdled out of school a few years ago, I would have been walking home with Milly Dowler the afternoon she went missing. That doesn't make it my fault it happened, as I'm sure you'd agree.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thinking "what if" won't do you any good.

    All you can do is hope that they find the killer, its beyond your control, if i was you i'd get back to how things were and get on with life rather than letting it affect you.

    Some people belive that everything happens for a reason so maybe there is a reason behind why you ended up being late to work, it could have been to save your life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Realistically if he was found at 1915 even if you had left your flat at 10 past you would have been too late, only thing you may have done is found him instead of something else.

    You need to try and stop thinking of all the what ifs, there are hundreds of what ifs that apply to every moment in life. Things happen and there is nothing you can do about most of them. PM me if you like, you've had a nasty shock and it's understandable that you're upset. By all means keep an eye on the news, but try not to live and breathe it.

    If I hadn't dawdled out of school a few years ago, I would have been walking home with Milly Dowler the afternoon she went missing. That doesn't make it my fault it happened, as I'm sure you'd agree.

    That case really scared me for some reason, i never wanted to leave the house.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It scared the shit out of me, it was my walk home and it was my mates little sister.

    Then you think rationally, it made national headlines for ages. National headlines are news, they don't report stuff that happens a lot, it's got to be unusual and it's got to be rare for it to make the news.

    I find that a really useful thing to remember when you see stuff in the news, if it wasn't really unusual it wouldn't be in the news.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It scared the shit out of me, it was my walk home and it was my mates little sister.

    Then you think rationally, it made national headlines for ages. National headlines are news, they don't report stuff that happens a lot, it's got to be unusual and it's got to be rare for it to make the news.

    I find that a really useful thing to remember when you see stuff in the news, if it wasn't really unusual it wouldn't be in the news.

    That's awful. Even scarier when you know the person though like you did, its almost unimaginable for that to happen.

    Most cases of missing children do hit the headlines though, not because its totally unusual but because of how serious it is because of other children's vulnerability.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You imply that reporters have a social conscience. They are interested in stories that shock. Missing kids in the headlines shock, and they do so because they're not in the headlines that often. You can spend your life living in fear and getting wound up about these things. Or you can be sensible, take reasonable measures to ensure your own safety and enjoy life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You imply that reporters have a social conscience. They are interested in stories that shock. Missing kids in the headlines shock, and they do so because they're not in the headlines that often. You can spend your life living in fear and getting wound up about these things. Or you can be sensible, take reasonable measures to ensure your own safety and enjoy life.

    Exactly, no point in dwelling on the past.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You couldn't have predicted what was going to happen so don't screw up your head by thinking 'what if' because there's no point. I hope you're okay. You must be in complete shock. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.prestontoday.net/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=73&ArticleID=1822942


    "One eyewitness said: "His face was just a mess. I think he'd been beaten. That's what it looked like."

    A mess. Sigh. He looked a state.

    I suppose I've just gotta get on with it. It just really wasn't very nice seeing it. Some piccies are below from the above link. Thats where I work guys.

    TH1_141020061253%20degrees%20murder%20USE.JPG

    TH1_141020063253%20degrees%20murder%202.JPG

    TH1_141020064153%20degrees%20murder%203.JPG

    I just really hope that catch who did this. He was 51 years old, I guessed 40. He has probably got kids and a family to look after. Sigh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.prestontoday.net/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=73&ArticleID=1822942


    "One eyewitness said: "His face was just a mess. I think he'd been beaten. That's what it looked like."

    A mess. Sigh. He looked a state.

    I suppose I've just gotta get on with it. It just really wasn't very nice seeing it. Some piccies are below from the above link. Thats where I work guys.

    TH1_141020061253%20degrees%20murder%20USE.JPG

    TH1_141020063253%20degrees%20murder%202.JPG

    TH1_141020064153%20degrees%20murder%203.JPG

    I just really hope that catch who did this. He was 51 years old, I guessed 40. He has probably got kids and a family to look after. He may be a lecturer, he may be a student. Sigh.

    Probably grandchildren too :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry, you could hardly helped him. If the loss of blood was so extreme like you told then there isn't much you can do. He was most probably unconscious and inflicted with heavy braintrauma right after the attack.

    It's wicked and really shouldn't happen. People like this (attacker) shouldn't live in a community of peaceable people. I hope they get him.

    I saw my fair share of dead, sick, people in pain, suicide attempts too at the ambulance, but that is some serious heavy shit there.

    condolences, but don't accuse yourself for not being able to help. If people working for the ambulance felt like that each time, they wouldn't be able to finish a single shift.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/6050834.stm

    "A force spokesman said the man "was in the wrong place at the wrong time" and said the attack followed an earlier altercation in the same area"

    Gawd. I dread to think what would have happened if I had left my flat on time. It could have been me. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this though :(

    Its really affecting me. I just can't get the image of him on the floor like that out of my head. It was horrible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/6050834.stm

    "A force spokesman said the man "was in the wrong place at the wrong time" and said the attack followed an earlier altercation in the same area"

    Gawd. I dread to think what would have happened if I had left my flat on time. It could have been me. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this though :(

    Its really affecting me. I just can't get the image of him on the floor like that out of my head. It was horrible.

    You will be distressed - anyone would be! I would be for sure... its scary when stuff like this happens. Post Traumatic Stress... just need to relax... I know its hard, and easy for someone else to say - sit, have a few deep breaths, try to clam yourself - do activities that will occup your mind and distract you.

    You'll probably be thinking of it for quite a while. Talk to folks here, we're here to support you whenever you need! It must be terrible to go through - and a sympathetic ear always help.

    Poor man though - things like this, stories like this - terrible. Why are people like this? What drives them to it? We need to analyse these fuck cases and find out what is wrong in thier heads. Obviously they don't function properly, and as such, are a danger to society. Fuckers shouldn't be let out, ever again. Maybe some ECT would do them good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 100% sure its not PTSD teh_gerbil. Thanks for your post though. I've just been in shock for the past 24 hours thats all. I mean, anybody would be after seeing someone who had just been murdered and would have most probably been caught up in it if they had left their flat on time. I've never seen anyone dead before. Its just had me thinking alot thats all. Will probably be thinking about it for a while.

    I'm feeling much much better now after talking to my friends at work who also saw it. I was lucky compared to one of the girls in work whose flat mate found the poor guy. She tried to save him. She spent 3 1/2 hours in the police station. She's in a state apparently :(

    I just think this whole thing is really scary tbh. I was sent out with some rubbish before (around the back near when he was found) and I completely panicked. It was dark, it was unlit, I was on my own and like, a guy last night got murdered metres away from it!!! I nearly cried like an idiot. I just don't feel safe around here at all at the min. Work is on my doorstep and like he got murdered in between where I live and work (and work is only a 2 min walk away if that!)

    I'm just hoping so much that they catch who did this. I just can't believe this happened in broad day light on campus. Someone must have seen something. I just feel so so sorry for his family and friends.

    Thanks for everyone's comments and stuff though. Tis appreciated :)
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    I know you're just trying to be helpful and sympathetic here but you shouldn't bandy around terms like PTSD - it's a severe and dehabilitating condition. Equating getting upset because someone you never knew and never met died near you, and suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is just insulting to anyone who lives with it.

    Sorry - just thought it might be that. :( Will take note though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gawd. I dread to think what would have happened if I had left my flat on time. It could have been me. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this though :(

    Its really affecting me. I just can't get the image of him on the floor like that out of my head. It was horrible.

    Welcome to the world of "Shit Happens and there is Fuck All you can do about it" where the randomness of life has finally bitten you on the arse.

    It's a big, nasty world out there when sometimes, but rarely, bad shit can happen to you. It's not nice when it does but you have to live the rest of your life - you know the other [insert age here] years which you have lived without this kind of incident happening to you.

    The risks are minimal until you are faced with them - you are no more at risk today than you were last week or the month before when this wasn't even in your thoughts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That fella had 6 kids :crying:
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