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My life sucks!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm bi. Most of my friends don't know yet. How can I tell them without them not wanting to be my friend any more????

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We have a 'coming out' guide, so click on the link below if you want to read it:
    http://www.thesite.org/sex/general_sex/coming_out_checklist.html

    Sadly, I can't promise you that they will all react well, but hopefully most of them will be OK about it. Maybe you would like to talk it over with the experts first? The numbers to ring are London Friend (at the end of the coming out article) and also:
    London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard (helpline for lesbians and gay men, offering support and information) Helpline: 020 7837 7324

    Best of luck

    Karla
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for your advise. I tink I will find some good friends on this whatever you call it.

    Love all of you,
    Jessica
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u can not tell them u know, u dont have to do anything. Its best to keep it a secret and intend to keep it that way so it dont bother u.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dirty_harry:
    u can not tell them u know, u dont have to do anything. Its best to keep it a secret and intend to keep it that way so it dont bother u.

    Becuase you're quite young you're friends may not have come across anyone else who's bi before, so it might startle them at first. But I wouldn't keep it a secret cos it could cause problems later on (e.g. if you end up fancying one of them or some other girl you all know). Better to have it out in the open IMO. I agree with Rachael about the friendship thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Jessica, we havent met yet, nice to meet u <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Ive got some great male friends who r gay, and I no a few girls who r bi and its never bothered me. My gay friends are some of my best friends as they r such a laugh and I talk to them about bloke troubles (coz they r guys and they fancy guys they give the best advice on this subjest!). When I found out they were gay it didnt faze me at all, but thats not everyones oppinion and a lot of girls get totally freaked by it all. I hope that if u decide to tell your mates they r understanding and they r good enough to like u no matter what u r. Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks. U all are so nice. I just need a guy that likes a girl like me.If any one is out there please write me back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jessica_r:
    Thanks. U all are so nice. I just need a guy that likes a girl like me.If any one is out there please write me back.


    Wanna see my puppies? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;


    Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jessica_r:
    Thanks. U all are so nice. I just need a guy that likes a girl like me.If any one is out there please write me back.


    Maybe we should get together sometime!

    :-)

    No, seriously, you should tell your friends that you are bi, and if they do not agree with that, then they are not very good friend's are they? I'm sure they will be fine about it though, it might just be a shock to them, or maybe they've always thought it of you!

    My ex was bi, and none of her friends/family knew, i am the only person she has ever told. She's not strictly bi though, dormant, not practicing!

    Anyway, All the Best

    Mark
    The only fate that exists is what we create for ourselves
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm intellectually bi. It's just on the practical side I'm not. (I've never fancied anyone, I'm not keen on the idea of doing it, and I really didn't like the time I tried)


    Anyway
    http://bi.org


    Personally I find most coming out to be in bad taste - I wouldn't normally discuss sex with this person, why are they telling me this?


    On the other hand "I'm having a coming out party on Saturday - do you want to come" seemed to be a really neat way of doing it


    Just be yourself. Don't let "what others might think of you" affect what you do. If your with mates you'd normally say "cor he looks cute" to, and you see a lass that does it for you, say "cor she looks cute". Don't lie.


    [This message has been edited by Carriage Return (edited 06-12-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by Carriage Return (edited 06-12-2000).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have friends who are gay and i have a lot of female friends who are bi - i don't know any actual lesbians (apart from my ex who i don't speak to anymore) heck the girl i've been pining over the last 6 weeks is bi, but she has no interest in me whatsoever, we're friends I'm the person she runs to when things are tough. i know there'll never be anything between us and it gets me down especially when i hear what the guys (and girls) who she goes out with tend to do to her. oh well not a lot i can do about it so i'd better stop boring you all with it.

    the point i was trying to make is that is if people won't associate with you based purely on your sexuality then they aren't worth the effort of having them as your friends - because real friends accept you regardless of anything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think it's reallyt necessary to come out n say I'm bi. DOnt make it such a big thing but dont try n hide it...
    Just dotn hold n e thing back, if u see a girl that's fine say she is.. especially if other ppl(blokes) comment on her agree with them.

    Ppl might might start asking u n just admit it... dont hide it but dont make it a big deal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Daze:
    I dont think it's reallyt necessary to come out n say I'm bi. DOnt make it such a big thing but dont try n hide it...
    Just dotn hold n e thing back, if u see a girl that's fine say she is.. especially if other ppl(blokes) comment on her agree with them.


    Ppl might might start asking u n just admit it... dont hide it but dont make it a big deal.

    Yeah, thats what I meant!
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I should wait to tell them about me. Thats not the only problem that I have. I waz also put into foster care back in August because of my mom's temper.


    Thats about it!!
    Jessica
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    Well we are just one big happy family, so enjoy the company <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    j9

    Funny... in real life everyone's families are getting smaller (nuclear instead of extended) or breaking down, on the web the family just keeps growing <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just thought Id let you know I have been best mates with my best mate for about 4 years altogether and she came out around a year ago.
    We have become a lot closer since and i love her loads!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    steady! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Only kidding jessica, i have plenty of gay friends and I dont feel threatened by any of them. If they turn against you, it just proves that they are narrowminded and not worth knowing.
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