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I've just found myself defending a 'peadophile'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well, apparently there is 'one' in the neighbourhood. Someone found out and has promptly printed off the articles and gone round door to door 'warning' everyone. I think it's just scary how judgmental people can be though - I do believe people make mistakes and do regret them. They're all planning some action to try and get him removed, obviously they don't mean to target his family as well (and I know one of the lads, nothing wrong with him) but they will. They even said 'well we cant do anything bad because the law protects them doesn't it' (as if, we should all be entitled to dish out our own punishment as we see fit)

He wasn't innocent, according to the article thats being handed out he downloaded a fair few images of child pornography, but he also served 8 months in prison for it. I'm not saying its not detestable, as in child pornography, but say you were the person who downloaded it... years later how can you move on when there's lynch mobs out for you.

I think the public are living in a state of perpetual paranoia, he's been living there harmlessly for years and now they've suddenly found out it's a massive panic. I won't because I'd rather not get involved in their private affairs and it may blow over, but I have half a mind to go round and warn him (and his family) that some vigilantes think they have the right to take things into their own hands.

Is there no such thing in the world as forgiveness, these days?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not for Paedo's No, Scum of the earth!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not for Paedo's No, Scum of the earth!!

    And it's responses like that that result in the situation detailed above :rolleyes:

    Seriously though, I find peadophilia completely sickening. But the guy's been proven guilty and he's served the appropriate sentence given to him for his crime. What is everyone expecting him to do?! Live on a secluded island?

    I'm not saying the neighbourhood shouldn't be aware of his living there - esp. those families with children - but making a fuss out of it is pathetic. That's just a way of making the situation worse tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although it was underplayed in the news article, it did say he had paid for therapy for himself. What else can he do? Nothing can change what he did but if we string them all up by their balls, do we do the same for murderers? Do we do the same for rapists*? Do we do the same for thieves, conmen, speeding motorists?

    Where is the line? In my eyes, the line should be that revenge has no place in our society, it should be about doing what is right, two wrongs dont make a right. And I heard that first hand from someone who was a victim of child abuse.

    Would it surprise you that this man is no different from any other, in his daily life, except for the fact that several years ago he developed a penchant for child pornography over the internet? He is made of the same stuff as you and I, he should be judged based on who he is, not who he was.

    To be fair, he might not regret any of it, he might be perving at the kids who walk past his house everyday - but then, couldn't anyone be doing that? I'm probably just a slave to the way I was brought up - you did something wrong, you apologised and then you got on with things and didn't keep revisiting it.

    *with the atrociously low conviction rate of rapists, if it was pretty damn clear someone had raped someone but there was only 'circumstancial evidence' I'd have no qualms about running them over... but I suppose everyone has their mean streak
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    k hes a bit fucked in the head for downloading paedo stuff, but its not like he raped a kid or something...

    ppl can be just as fucked up when they generalise stuff and get on their high horses.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh i can understand peoples fears.

    i found out on tuesday that i live right near a bail hostel, we've had weirdos around etc and called the police. it's scaring the shit out of me. :(
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Being a sexually attracted to kids isn't a crime, but abusing them is.

    And although he may not have directly hurt any kids himself, by downloading kiddy porn he's encouraging it happen. I wouldn't be so quick to defend him, but then I wouldn't engage in a witch hunt either.

    I have a criminal record and understand that people remember long after you've served you rpunishment given out by the courts, but then I also sympathize with parents wanting eliminate any risk to their kids, however small.

    Isn't this the wrong forum for this anyway?
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh i can understand peoples fears.

    :yes:

    I used to stay in an area that was 90% populated by Asians, and some white kid got bundled into a car, torn from limb to limb, set on fire and dumped in a park, purely because he was white.

    That happened right at the end of my street, and there were times when I was scared to leave my flat incase I got attacked or something. Fuck, maybe it wasn't rational, but it's not a nice feeling when you're half scared to leave your own house or that, especially when you get dirty as fuck looks because you're the wrong colour.

    Point is it's that what if?

    Nobody agrees with vigilantes or any shit like that, but if you or your family don't feel safe then you can totally understand it if they have concerns.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    since i found out about the bail hostel (only found out cos we had a man appearing at our window and trying the door and we spoke to the police and they told us) i've been really scared. thing is even if i didn't know about it they'd still be there. dunno if what i'm trying to say makes any sense!

    i hope i'm not bobbing my pants for the rest of the 8 months that i'm here for. it's made me more safety conscious (i was already quite good used to lock the door during the day etc) but now i'm being all silly and paranoid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heh, the guy at the window was probly nothing to do with the bail hostel, easy to make the assumptions and get paranoid tho i can understand how u feel
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    Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    muse- wrote:
    k hes a bit fucked in the head for downloading paedo stuff, but its not like he raped a kid or something...

    ppl can be just as fucked up when they generalise stuff and get on their high horses.

    Exactally.

    If he isn't posing a threat or problem, and has been in prison and therapy, I think there shouldn't be an issue.

    Obviously there is a risk, but, this is taking it to far. I'd be worried if I had kids, but I wouldn't start taking action like this. I'd just tell my children to avoid him, and if he approaches them, to run home and I'd call the police.

    Or crack him one in the balls.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    muse- wrote:
    heh, the guy at the window was probly nothing to do with the bail hostel, easy to make the assumptions and get paranoid tho i can understand how u feel


    well we think it is. they have a curfew until 11pm and it's always been before then and they've always been walking up the road to where it is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he is a registered sex offender doesnt he have to tell the neighborhood anyways? well thats how it is where I live anyways. I dont agree with a full on mob attacking him... but I can see the fears as well.
    no i don't think that's how it works in england.

    i think sarah paynes mum was campaigning for the law that you have in america to be applied in the uk. might be wrong though.
    we weren't told about the bail hostel - i live with 8 other girls (and 5 lads). i would've thought it'd be good practice to inform us before we move in.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    D'you remember a while back when they opened up that hotline for victims of child abuse? And a lot of calls were from men who were afraid that they might 'become' a paedophile? I think that demonstrates that a lot of these people are some sort of sick monsters who need to be locked up. I think that a lot regret anything they do, or are guilty of any thoughts that they have even if they haven't actually done anything. And they're never going to talk openly about it, or do anything about it, with a mob with pitchforks on their doorstep.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no i don't think that's how it works in england.

    i think sarah paynes mum was campaigning for the law that you have in america to be applied in the uk. might be wrong though.

    Yeah, there's Megan's law (I think it's Megan) in America which means people in a local neighbourhood must know they are there. Sarah Payne's mum tried to get them to pass Sarah's law here, but it was denied.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's funny, a mate of mine was accused of being a pedo (I stuck by him... Inncent until proven guilty) and was banned from places, got abuse ect... later he was cleared, the kid had been put up by his family to lie.

    Pedophiles are the bogeyman in todays society, almost as if they've never existed before. If somebody serves their time, then why shouldnb't they be forgiven? At the end of the day there are so many self-righteous low lives who believe that in attacking a person who has been released from prison, they are becoming the next mother Theresa.

    I don't know why they do it, maybe they're looking for an easy target (in the case of my friend, that seemed likely) or whatever, but if those people genuinely cared about the safety of their children and those who have been abused, they'd be volunteering for Banardos or a childrens charity rather than running a holy crusade against one man released from prison.

    Just my opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh i can understand peoples fears.

    i found out on tuesday that i live right near a bail hostel, we've had weirdos around etc and called the police. it's scaring the shit out of me. :(

    So has anything changed? How did you feel before Tuesday?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicx1811 wrote:
    Yeah, there's Megan's law (I think it's Megan) in America which means people in a local neighbourhood must know they are there. Sarah Payne's mum tried to get them to pass Sarah's law here, but it was denied.

    Yes, Megan's Law is what it's called in America.
    he should be judged based on who he is, not who he was

    Indeed. Just because he did what he did years ago, doesn't mean he'll do it again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So, doesn't mean that they all are or should be treated as such.

    Their crimes are heinous. So is vigilante action.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Incidentally, the government has recently said they are 'reviewing' the possibility of introducing a "Sarah's Law" in here.

    Anothter victory for the Murdoch press!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about rehousing them in a community full of you people who think they are harmless, I'd like to see you're reactions if you caught them looking at your children!!!

    As for therapy, Just coz someone has a nicorette patch doesn't mean their gonna quit smoking
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Funny thing is that if you "catch" anyone looking at your children because of the media in this country you wonder. In fact, I wonder from the other end. I smile at people's children, I smile at something they've done, or just to let them know it's ok that they ran into my leg because they weren't looking, and then wonder if their parent thinks I'm some weirdo. I know they probably done't because I'm a woman. But would they feel the same if they knew that of all child abusers 80%ish (sorry no source at the moment) are women.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about rehousing them in a community full of you people who think they are harmless, I'd like to see you're reactions if you caught them looking at your children!!!

    As for therapy, Just coz someone has a nicorette patch doesn't mean their gonna quit smoking

    What on earth are you on about?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does anyone know what the therapy entails? I've often wondered how they think therapy can change sexuality, they've tried it on gay people and it doesn't work. Or is it more on how ton control yourself and looking into your past etc?

    I wouldnt want peadophiles living near me or children but what can you do? You can't have a society full of vigilantes. Like someone said, whethere yu know they are there or not, it's not goin to make much of a difference on whethere they are going to re-offend.

    Is Megan's law in every state? It would be interesting to know if there has been a backlash of mobs since it was introduced.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would imagine therapy would be teaching yourself how to handle the impulses, and maybe strategies for avoidance, eg if your bus-stop is outside a school you'd go onto the next one and walk back rather than see children, etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's also worth remembering that people can change. Lots of people did things in the past and over the years have changed and would never do them again.

    Tbh I think the vigilantes are far worse, they think they have power, they think they can do whatever they like and for some reason have decided that they have the right to decide how someone else gets to spend their life.

    I could possibly see the grounds for complaint when the offendor in questions was a serial child kidnapper, but I think it's a different case entirely when the crime was looking a child porn. While SOME child abusers also look at child porn, most don't. I watch violent films, that doesn't make me a violent person now, does it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sexual abuse is far more likely to occur within families. This scare about paedophiles "in the community" is a classic example of society projecting its fears onto the "other" - the loner, the weirdo, the paedo. Until we, as a society, can come to terms with the fact that sexual abuse of children appears to be part of the spectrum of human behaviour (in the same way that rape, murder, wars etc are), then we're not going to get anywhere. Its something that needs to be thought about and understood and hopefully controlled. Merely projecting the fears out of the family onto the weirdo in the neighbourhood is going to get us precisely nowhere.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a really good point, children are almost always abused by someone they know well, so the best things parents can do to protect their children is use their judgement about people their kids become close to. Strangers in the street aren't the problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about rehousing them in a community full of you people who think they are harmless, I'd like to see you're reactions if you caught them looking at your children!!!

    Have you actually thought about what you're saying before you say it? They've got to live somewhere once released from prison, same as people who've beaten people within an inch of their life, and people who've traumatised others though rape, violence.

    I don't personally have children, but I have a sister who is 12 years younger than me. If we were aware of a pedophile in our area then yes, we'd be more protective of her, but I sincerley doubt my mum and dad would go around demanding he left the area. He's served his punishment for what he's done, he's even tried to help himself by paying for his therapy, what are YOU people who think he's pure evil expecting him to do, really?

    I currently have to see a person who hurt me (in ways I'm not willing to go into) most days, as he has befriended someone down my street. I can feel him watch me when I leave the house, but theres no point over reacting. He's had his appropriate punishment, and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm just more on my guard when I see him. It's easily done.

    And finally....
    As for therapy, Just coz someone has a nicorette patch doesn't mean their gonna quit smoking

    No but it means they're trying though doesn't it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I would imagine therapy would be teaching yourself how to handle the impulses, and maybe strategies for avoidance, eg if your bus-stop is outside a school you'd go onto the next one and walk back rather than see children, etc.


    yep that's what it involves, over europe they had an advertising campaign which was advertising a course of therapy, anonymously for people who thought they might be attracted to children (for free) - the people running it say it's been quite effective so far


    it'd make sense the course of therapy for a convicted paedophile will be similar, to control their urges and realise what they're doing is abuse as a child cannot give full informed consent
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