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I dont wanna think about her right now!

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
in Sex & Relationships
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Beep boop. I'm a bot.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    get engrossed in a good FPS, like play Quake 4 in the dark with headphones on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the whole world's goin insane
    I fill my brain up with Dany, and drink away the pain

    mobb deep - the infamous (1994) - drink away the pain.


    no, seriously. be busy busy busy, meet friends, go biking, lifting weighs, painting a picture with the instructions of bob ross, cook a rad meal, but don't sit in front of the fucking computer, where your mind is unoccupied all the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im exactly like that over a bloke and literally feel like im going insane..
    ive decided to keep busy and go out and do exactly what the fuck i like, when i like.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've done this once before, and only once. It's what happens when you take someone for more than what they are. She starts out as a nice girl, then you start to think about her all the time, too much, but crucially, without ever asking her out. What starts as a nice girl, ends up as your dream girl, with no justification, and it makes it impossible to actually ask them out. Firstly, because you put too much emphasis on the answer, and secondly, because you go to rat shit every time you see her from then on.

    I'm not trying to belittle your problem, because I know it feels like shit, but try and think about it in perspective. Yeah, she was a nice girl, nice personality, good looking, whatever adjectives you'd like to add here, but that's all she was. I remember feeling "this is one of the only girls I've ever felt this way about, so it must be quite rare to find someone so 'perfect' for me". But I realised that the reason for this wasn't that there are so few girls out there I'm compatible with, it was just that I hadn't put any effort into, or had the confidence, to go out and meet any of them. Sound familiar?

    By any chance was this a girl you were forced to spend time with every day/week (i.e. work or education)? Did you fancy her after a short while, not do anything about it, then continue to think about her every time you saw her from then on? By then was there too much pressure involved in asking her out?

    So get on with your life and wait for someone else to come along that you're interested in. And if you go out there and socialise as often as possible, you'll meet another one far quicker. But this time, be decisive, be confident, show her you're interested, and ask her out. If she says no, you won't waste time thinking about what could be, because you'll know it won't happen. If you never ask, you'll always wonder, and you'll end up in the same situation again.

    I know this wasn't a direct answer to your question, but I hope you found it useful.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Settle something: My mate says when he likes a girl and she finds someone and he finds some one he ' keeps a line on them' meaning keeps on chatting with them seeing them with intent of hooking up with them, good or bad idea? cause I always thought if you split up or things turn sour then you cut all contact...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you mean? They went out, then split up and started going out with someone else? Or they just knew each other, and then she got a boyfriend?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I suggest a full - or at least partial - lobotomy.

    Seriously, get out of the house and do something... anything. Not right at this second but first thing tomorrow. Sitting at the computer is only going to make you dwell.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    I suggest a full - or at least partial - lobotomy.

    Seriously, get out of the house and do something... anything. Not right at this second but first thing tomorrow. Sitting at the computer is only going to make you dwell.

    well I have got school tomorrow! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    School? That makes me feel old :(

    Well work hard, pay attention in your lessons, make plans for after school with mates, sort something out for the weekend that will take you out of your usual "down time" environment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you mean to get me out of the rut then yeah totally agree.
    Don't really have any mates to hang out with per say because most of em have gone to uni.
    thinking either excell acedemically or get a job or both.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A weekend job could be good. Might help your confidence too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Robocop. No one can watch Robocop and think about anything else at the same time.

    Scientific fact.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    A weekend job could be good. Might help your confidence too.

    trouble is they are real fucking hard to get
    but some jobs at night £7 an hour....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    johnnyboy503 wrote:
    yeah the last one
    Right, I agree with your mate with the first part. I'd keep seeing them, and flirting and having fun with them as usual. That way, you're hopefully remaining attractive to her or at least getting her to think of you in that way. But "with the intention of hooking up?" Nah, I wouldn't bother. There's plenty of single girls out there. There's no point of waiting for this one. But if it doesn't work out for her, there's still a possibilty that she'll be in for you afterwards. Just don't count on it in any way. Just make sure that any girl that you fancy see's you in "that way" whether you're going to get her or not. That's my opinion anyway.

    And if you're out there chatting to other girls that you like, there's not much chance that you'll fall for this one that has a boyfriend already, because you won't be thinking about her 24/7. If you carry on flirting with her, and only her, then you'll be thinking about her all the time, and become bitter that you can't have her, and end up in the same situation.

    Serously. Getting out there and socialising with new people solves practically every fucking problem in the world. Of course it's easier said than done if you're not a natural.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    johnnyboy503 wrote:
    trouble is they are real fucking hard to get
    but some jobs at night £7 an hour....
    At night? They'll do nothing for your confidence if you're not dealing with any customers. You need the jobs that you're gonna interact with customers the most. Stacking shelves in Asda will do fuck all. My first job was a sales person in Currys which is pretty daunting for a 16 year-old. I got my ex a job doing kids parties at my work, where she's got to play games with the kids and do safety briefings and stuff, which has done wonders for her confidence. I know it's hard to get any job, but if you get a choice, I'd go for something like these.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm With Stupid wrote:
    Right, I agree with your mate with the first part. I'd keep seeing them, and flirting and having fun with them as usual. That way, you're hopefully remaining attractive to her or at least getting her to think of you in that way. But "with the intention of hooking up?" Nah, I wouldn't bother. There's plenty of single girls out there. There's no point of waiting for this one. But if it doesn't work out for her, there's still a possibilty that she'll be in for you afterwards. Just don't count on it in any way. Just make sure that any girl that you fancy see's you in "that way" whether you're going to get her or not. That's my opinion anyway.

    And if you're out there chatting to other girls that you like, there's not much chance that you'll fall for this one that has a boyfriend already, because you won't be thinking about her 24/7. If you carry on flirting with her, and only her, then you'll be thinking about her all the time, and become bitter that you can't have her, and end up in the same situation..


    this one doesn't have a boyfriend
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