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"Happy to be single" - grrrr
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I work with this absolutely incredible woman - in my eyes she's perfect in every way. She's such a nice person to be around and has the ultimate figure. We often chat on our breaks and she's always friendly to me - if she passes my office she usually smiles or waves.
In the last few weeks I've become more and more attracted to her and wanted to get to know her better so like any confident bloke.....I took the easy way out and got my mate to speak to her on my behalf
I just wanted to know if she's 'looking' and I found out that she's apparently 'happy to be single'.
Now I respect her choice, no problem with that.....but.....I really fancy her! Let me make it clear that the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable, or make it look like I'm imposing myself on her. But I just think if I only had a chance to show what I could offer her, she may feel differently.
Again I stress I'm not the sort of person who demands to get his way with women - I just feel I haven't have a decent chance yet. She's an incredible woman and I'm determined not to give up on her!
So any suggestions on what I can or should do?
In the last few weeks I've become more and more attracted to her and wanted to get to know her better so like any confident bloke.....I took the easy way out and got my mate to speak to her on my behalf
I just wanted to know if she's 'looking' and I found out that she's apparently 'happy to be single'.
Now I respect her choice, no problem with that.....but.....I really fancy her! Let me make it clear that the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable, or make it look like I'm imposing myself on her. But I just think if I only had a chance to show what I could offer her, she may feel differently.
Again I stress I'm not the sort of person who demands to get his way with women - I just feel I haven't have a decent chance yet. She's an incredible woman and I'm determined not to give up on her!
So any suggestions on what I can or should do?
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Basically I'd say bite the bullet and find out if she'd be interested in going out sometime after work or similar. She might well genuinely want - and be happy - to be single, or she might just be spouting that line to keep away unwanted attention (which you don't know you would be, do you?) or because it sounds a damn sight better than responding with "yes, I'm DEFINITELY looking... you don't happen to know any eligible bachelors with their own teeth and hair, do you?".
My mate is female
She's told me in the past she has trouble trusting blokes after being hurt in the past which I respect completely but if only I can show her she has nothing to fear from me then although she's happy being single, I'm convinced I could make her even happier.
Maybe but I gave my mate strict instructions to not give the game away about who's interested in her
Same here. However, the last time someone asked me out, I just said that I wasn't interested then was blackmailed by him to give me an answer.:rolleyes:
find out yourself, if she turns you down, there is nothing lost. If a girl is so superfriendly to you it can mean a lot of things, but among them interest in your person.
/edit:
actually, every thread can be locked as soon as briggi answered in it. Hell, is there anything you don't do right ?
????
a single letter can make so much difference.
I was just saying, that "Are you looking for someone?" is either a question from someone insecure who wants to date her, or from someone to set her and his mate up. So naturally I'd say "I am single and happy with it" as well, since you never know the other person's cunning plan.
Maybe I've misread somewhere, though.
:yes: that's my understanding too.
I guess I would...
You may well suspect someone has instructed the inquisitor to mine for the information; but it might also come up in conversation. Gals (and blokes, too, I would imagine) sometimes talk about that kind of thing without automatically expecting ulterior motives of the person asking or their mate.
I guess that might be true in the case of attractive people who automatically assume everyone fancies them (which is not all, by any stretch of the imagination) but generally I would say that is absolute bollocks. In fact, if insecure people are as innately insecure as a lot of people - some on these boards - seem to believe (and in a lot of cases, I'd agree) I'd say that the opposite may well be true. You can generalise about how people perceive one another, and especially not solely on a basis of looks.
But yes, if he's gazing starry-eyed at her it will probably be providing a large, anvil-like hint.
She isn't going to sit there and say that she cries herself to sleep every night because of the loneliness, is she? She isn't going to say that she feels like a fat lump of lard and that everyone despises her, is she? If someone asks how the love life is, and you don't have one, you say you're happy how you are.
Ignore MattLiverpool's games, because he talks 100% pure thoroughbred bollocks when it comes to relationships.
Oh, right! Thanks for clueing me in :thumb:
To be honest, I think you've read quite a lot into this unless you know something I don't! You may well be right, who knows. But just because the OP thinks she is incredible and nigh-on perfect doesn't actually mean that she is one of these generally-perceived top shelf wonderwomen you seem to assume. Just because she may be one such being doesn't mean she gets hit on all the time. Just because she may get hit on all the time doesn't mean she loves the attention or is somehow derisive toward the men who give her that attention.
It's not really important, anyway. I'm just wondering now if the original poster is going to ask her out!?
He didn't call you a thoroughbred, he said you talk bollocks. Read it again.
Sometimes I envy MattLiverpool. I am searching every day to come one step nearer to reveal the big secrets of the complex female sex, and see there. Someone got it all figured out already
And as for girls liking attention Matt, everyone in the world likes attention, especially from the opposite sex.
There's plenty of 'player' books. Read The Game by Neil Strauss.
Then read my signature.
So! You get your amazing pulling techniques from books?!
That would explain so much :chin: